Preparing for 'big school'

From the moment you play 'peek-a-boo' with your baby, you are preparing them for the time they move away from you and become independent

Separation can be a difficult emotion, not only for you as a parent, but also for your child. As your child matures and gains in confidence, it is important that you prepare them for school.

Even in ordinary situations, some children experience some form of worry, apprehension, fear, anxiety or distress. Feeling nervous and anxious is natural for a child when they are faced with a new situation.

A new adventure

When children reach school age they may worry about social acceptance, school performance or finding a group that they can fit into.

School is a place away from home where your child will have some of their greatest successes, challenges, failures and embarrassments. It is at school that your child learns about how the world works and meets and interacts with people from outside your family, perhaps for the first time.

School is a place beyond your control so, of course, it can appear stressful and unfamiliar to your child regardless of their age.

It is also where children learn about themselves - their strengths, weaknesses, interests and how they relate to others socially. Children learn to perform in a way they never have to at home and they learn that they are unique, different and separate from you. So, school can appear fun and exciting but also rather daunting and stressful.

A child who has attended a playgroup, or a mother and toddler group may feel more at ease with the new situation, as they are used to and more comfortable with the daily ritual of separation. I remember my son Will, walking up the path to his nursery on the first day and striding in confidently to play with jigsaws. It was me who had to fight back the tears and the strange feeling of rejection, as he didn't seem that bothered to see me go! (We had been going to the Mother and Toddler afternoons throughout the summer to prepare him for the big day).

It can also depend on your child's character, their ability to handle change or whether their friends are going to be joining them.

I really believe your attitude is of vital importance to the 'Big Day'. If you appear nervous, anxious, worried, over-protective or guilty your child notices your tension and will react to it with anxiety, reluctance and hesitancy.