Change is often hard for some people to digest. If you've asked your boss for more flexible hours and been turned down, don't despair, read on.

As in any negotiation, keep a record of all the stages. Make a note of your initial meeting with your boss and of any further conversations; try to get the refusal in writing – along with the employer’s reasons for refusing your requests. This will be useful if you cannot come to an agreement and decide to go to a tribunal. It’s also a helpful practical procedure – it prevents unnecessary muddles and confusions, which could scupper the negotiations.

Go over your proposal again. Have you clearly stated the reasons why it would not be possible for you to work full-time or non-flexibly? Have you clearly demonstrated how you could successfully do your job in the new way you have suggested?

Contact your union. If you have a union, you will have already discussed your position with a union representative. Tell them that your request has been refused and ask their advice. Perhaps they have already helped somebody else in the organisation negotiate in a similar situation, and can advise you of successful approaches.

Double-check your contract to see if there are any provisions for flexible working.

Talk to the personnel or human resources department to see if your organisation has a stated policy on flexible working. Also ask if anybody else has a flexible working arrangement, or if they have had one in the past. Try to find out more about these: they might provide useful models or give you an idea about why your employer has had a negative reaction to your request.

Look at how other organisations make use of flexible working options for jobs such as yours and inform your employer about them – it may be that your organisation simply can’t see how to achieve what you ask.

Take things further. If your negotiations do not succeed, you may need to take advantage of your organisation’s grievance procedure. It’s possible you may have grounds for a sex discrimination claim, in which case you could take the matter to an employment tribunal. There is a time limit of three months from the day your request was refused for taking claims to a tribunal.

Understand your employer’s position. Your employer may believe that it is genuinely necessary for your job to be full-time, or during specified hours, or on a shift basis to meet legitimate business needs. Make sure you have thought through their position as well as your own. Then your position will be both clear and strong.

Further information

• Parents at Work, 45 Beech Street, London EC2Y 8AD (020 7628 3565; fax: 628 3591) advice line Wed & Fri 11am-2pm, Thurs 6pm-9pm
• The Equal Opportunities Commission, Head Office, Overseas House, Quay Street, Manchester M3 3HN (0161 833 9244; fax: 835 1657); email. Wales EOC: Windsor House, Windsor Lane, Cardiff CF1 3DE (01222 343552; fax: 641079); email. Scotland EOC: Scotland Stock Exchange House, 7 Nelson Mandela Place, Glasgow G2 1QW; email.The EOC can advise you on how to resolve your complaint on your own; tell you about your rights under the Sexual Discrimination Act (SDA), particularly if you think you have a complaint about your hours of work; advise you about taking a case under the SDA and, in some cases, give legal or financial help. For information and advice on all equality issues in Northern Ireland visit the Equality Commission for Northern Ireland.
• The Maternity Alliance, 45 Beech Street, London EC2P 2LX (020 7588 8582; fax: 7588 8584); email. This independent organisation campaigns for improvements in rights and services for pregnant women, new parents and their babies, and runs an advice service for individuals
• New Ways to Work, 309 Upper Street, London N1 2TY (020 7930 3355), for information and advice on all aspects of flexible working patterns
• Your Trade Union – if you are a member
• Your local law centre – look in Yellow Pages or call the Law Centres Federation (020 7387 8570; Scotland: 0141 561 7266). It is crucial to talk to a solicitor who specialises in this field – Maternity Alliance (see above) has a list
• Citizens Advice Bureau – look in Yellow Pages, ask at your local library or call the National Association of Citizen’s Advice Bureaux in England and Wales (020 7833 2181), in Scotland (0131 667 0156) and in Northern Ireland (028 90 231120)