Are you on the fast track to infidelity? Sue Quilliam identifies the key reasons why women keep running off.

So when are you going to have an affair?
Notice I ask when, not whether because more women in the 21st century are choosing to have affairs. One of the most common reasons why husbands are granted divorce is the adultery of their wives. So it's more likely than not that at some point in a committed relationship, you'll be tempted to play away.

The question you're probably asking yourself, then, is whether you're at risk at the moment. To get an instant response, answer these ten diagnostic questions. The more yes answers you get, the higher the risk.

Do you feel:

• your partner doesn't cuddle you as much as you would like?

• you'd like to make love more than you do?

• unappreciated by your partner?

• that you'd prefer your partner to have a better paid or higher status job than he has?

• your sex life is less enjoyable than it used to be?

• your partner should listen to you more?

• resentful your partner has had an affair.

• your partner should pay you more attention?

• disappointed or disillusioned in your relationship?

• Disappointment
  feeling that a relationship doesn't meet expectations. A study by psychologist Dr Shirley Glass shows that many women are unfaithful because they want more physical affection or emotional attention.

• Desire
  wanting more, or better sex. There's a direct link between the quality of women's sex lives and whether they stray or not.

• Disillusionment
  feeling that a partner is no longer worthwhile. Psychologist David Buss suggests that women often have affairs with men who are more successful or better paid than their current partner. A survey conducted by couples counselling organisation Relate this year found that many women who have affairs do so only after their partners have already been unfaithful.

• Destruction
  some women are looking for an affair to lever them out of a relationship they've grown out off. They may then stay with their lover. But typically, once the affair has served its purpose, they move on to a third and this time stable, relationship.

Should you play away?
Traditionally, of course, having an affair is a bad thing - though in the heat of the moment, it may feel as if it's the only good thing in your life. But what about the impact on your relationship? Would an affair save it - or kill it?

The only chance of an affair making your relationship better is if it provides a wake-up call. Many couples say that an affair was the event that made them realise that something was badly wrong and gave them the impetus to sort their relationship out.

But if you're trying to convince yourself that an affair will make things better between you and your partner, then you're wrong.

All too often, the sheer excitement of an affair just makes you more dissatisfied with your central relationship. Now that you're putting all your energy into playing away, you really haven't got any spare energy to work on what's happening at home. Your relationship becomes even more vulnerable. And if your partner finds out he's been betrayed, then your bond may simply snap.

What should you do?
So if you are on the edge of an affair, my first reaction is 'don't do it'. It may sound boring, but you would do better to try and improve your relationship. If the sex is dying, then find out how to resuscitate it. If you feel disappointed, then find ways to get enthusiastic again. Contact Relate for details of local relationship counsellors in your area.

Of course it may not be possible - your love may already be dead in the water. And if it is, then it's quicker, easier and much cleaner to end the relationship before jumping into bed with someone else.

So what will you do when you're tempted - as you almost certainly will be? Adultery? Or not? The choice is yours.

Have you had an affair and are trying to get out of it? Or are you potentially on the brink of an affair and need some advice? Why not chat to iVillagers who have had similar experiences to yours on the My Affair message board. Take a look at some of the LIVE discussions happening right now on the board: