Lynne Franks talks about how to find the courage to start your own business.

How does courage grow?

A large percentage of the hundreds of young women and a few young men that I’ve trained over the years in the PR agency have started their own businesses.

I contacted many of them to ask them what gave them the confidence to become entrepreneurs themselves. They all told me, somewhat to my surprise, that I’d asked them to do the impossible and empowered them by trusting them to get on and do it.

They reminded me that I’d ask them to get a story on a client on the front page of a national newspaper or organise a graffiti art exhibition for Swatch watches in a central London venue within a month. I always asked them to do things that I knew they were capable of, even if they didn’t.

Obviously, they reasoned, if they could achieve the impossible for me, they could do it for themselves. I saw potential and got them to see it, too.

Former shop assistants, art college graduates, and secretaries are now running their own businesses all over the world. One is a top Hollywood agent, another a successful marketing consultant in Melbourne, Australia. Many of them are running PR agencies still networked up to each other as friends and a support group.

We all have unlimited potential to create our dreams, whether someone else is encouraging us or we are challenging ourselves.

Dare yourself to do something you fear

I’m now going to ask you to do something you’ve always wanted to do but have never dared. It shouldn’t have anything to do with work but should be an activity that you would always regret you never tried. Ideally, you should do it this week, but if your secret dream is to go to India, then at least start making arrangements this week and commit to going.

It could be parachuting out of a plane, scuba diving or hot-air ballooning. Or it could be something more gentle, but just as difficult for you, like singing a song in front of your friends and family, painting a self-portrait, having a look around a sex shop or going to a rock ‘n’ roll concert on your own and dancing all the way through.

Although I’ve often wanted to, I’ve always dreaded going to the cinema on my own. I always imagined everyone in the audience would be staring at me, thinking I didn’t have any friends, even though there are those who say going to the cinema on their own is bliss. They tell me it’s the only way they can feel the emotional space to really experience the films. I, on the other hand, get completely paranoid.

So think of something little and doable that you can do to challenge your fears this week. Maybe it’s just phoning up your ex who you never completed with and saying goodbye in a loving way. It’s never too late for any of us to remove yet more barriers that are blocking us from moving into our full potential.

Remember

If you act like you have confidence, pretty soon you believe it yourself.

We have to remember how small children behave. When they fall over, they just pick themselves up and start again.

Unfortunately, too many of us, particularly women, underestimate ourselves. Our self-esteem is needlessly low. This could be blamed on two thousand years or more of a patriarchal society; the advertising, fashion and beauty industries; or our self-grown sense of inadequacy. Women of my age often feel that they’ve missed the boat and have given up on achieving their dreams.

Sharing with others always helps build confidence, particularly for women. Why don’t you join up with some friends with compatible skills and ideas and swap wisdom? Failing at anything is just another lesson. I’ve made countless mistakes in my professional life as well as my personal life, but it hasn’t stopped me. Far from it.

Next in the series

Read more from Lynne Franks' SEED Handbook: the feminine way to create business.