Step back in time at your next gathering

Bad taste food is making a comeback. It doesn’t taste bad – in fact, if we’re really honest, it’s some of our favourite stuff. But it’s the food counterpart of an Elvis painting on velvet. Actually, it probably amounts to the King’s choice gourmet nosh: fried peanut butter and mashed banana sandwiches, macaroni cheese, pigs-in-a-blanket, are on record as among his best-loved dishes. And they provide the inspiration for a great retro drinks party.

And you don’t have to paint your fridge avocado green to get into the mood. All you need for the centrepiece is several fistfuls of coloured plastic cocktail sticks, a big red cabbage, yellow cheese, a tin of Spam, stuffed olives and you’re on your way.

• Cut the cabbage in half across its middle and slam it upside down on a platter. Thread a cube of cheese, a cube of Spam (use this sparingly if you prefer – just enough for people to get the joke) and a stuffed olive on a stick and plunge it into the cabbage. Intersperse with cubes of cheese and pineapple and you’ve created pure retro heaven in a psychedelic porcupine.
• Scoop out the other cabbage half to make a bowl with a rim about 2cm thick. Cut a thin slice off the bottom so it won’t roll over. Surround with batons of peeled carrot and celery, florets of cauliflower, sugar snap peas, slices of green and red pepper, and any other vegetable. Stir one packet of dried onion soup mix into 225ml sour cream and 225ml cream cheese until well blended and pour into the cabbage bowl.
• Boil any number of eggs until hard. When cool, peel, halve and scoop out the yolks. Mash them in a bowl with some spoonfuls of Branston Pickle, or prepared mayonnaise with a little curry powder, then stuff the mixture back into the hollows.
• Take a boule of white bread (one of those round country loaves). Chop off a lid and carefully cut out the interior. Cube the crumb and pile onto a plate with the emptied loaf in the centre and an eggcupful of cocktail sticks. Fill this bready bowl with warm cheese fondue.

• Make and cook chestnut-sized Swedish meatballs, then serve on sticks with bowls of mustard and tomato ketchup.
• You can’t have too many cocktail sausages on sticks, with mustard to dip into. Just lay them out in rows on a baking sheet and roast in the oven. What Elvis knew as pigs-in-a-blanket were frankfurter sausage rolls – mini frankfurters wrapped in puff pastry and baked. Seal ready-made puff pastry with a slick of mustard.
• Elvis might have found angels-on-horseback a little refined, but they are timelessly delicious – pitted prunes wrapped in a slice of bacon and grilled or roasted, then speared with another of those coloured toothpicks. Stuffing the prune with a piece of water chestnut adds crunch.
• Cheese straws are always popular. Roll some in poppy seeds or caraway; sprinkle others with cumin, caraway, or paprika.
• Pina Colada is the retro drink - almost a pudding in a glass and just as easily consumed. For one, add 25ml rum, a splash each of cream of coconut and pineapple juice, shake with ice, pour into a decorative glass and top with a wedge of fresh pineapple, a cherry or an umbrella – or all three.
• Or make up a bowl of Punch. Dissolve 675g sugar in 2 quarts soda water. Add a block of ice (make this by freezing water in an empty litre orange juice carton), 2 quarts red wine, 450ml each of brandy, rum and sparkling wine, 200ml sweet vermouth. Stir gently and float with orange and apple slices.

More Retro Recipes

Asparagus Rolls
Makes 48

12 slices brown bread from a large thin sliced loaf, crusts removed
50g softened butter
1 x 425g can asparagus spears

Roll a rolling pin across the bread slices to flatten. Spread evenly with the butter. Divide the asparagus spears between the slices (1-2 spears per slice) and roll tightly. Wrap and chill. When ready to serve, cut in half, then cut each piece in half diagonally.

Ham and Pâté Cornets
Makes 16

115g honey roast ham (square slices)
135g farmhouse pâtė
16 capers

Cut each slice of ham in half diagonally to make 16 triangles. Beat the pâté until smooth. Transfer to a piping bag with a star nozzle. Roll each piece of ham to make a cornet then pipe a little pâté into each and top with a caper. Cover and chill until required.

Salami-topped Ritz
Makes 28

14 slices pack salami, halved
28 Ritz crackers
50g soft cheese
28 cocktail gherkins or small pieces of tomato

Arrange a folded piece of salami on each cracker. Pipe a little cheese to one side and garnish with a gherkin fan or tiny piece of tomato.