Romance is as much a part of office life as coffee machines. Many employers have discovered that trying to ban work romances is like trying to ban Christmas. It’s not even necessary. More people meet their partners at work than anywhere else and most workplace romances don't cause problems.

The key to successful office romance, whether it lasts or not, is how you handle it at work. It isn’t easy bringing together two areas of your life: work and relationships. It often requires juggling, discretion and patience. But it can be done, without rocking any corporate boats. Here’s how:

Thinking about it

So you fancy someone and you’re trying to decide whether to take it any further? The rule for success here is, Go Slowly. Think about who this person is at work. There’s no point dating a cut-throat man who fires people at the drop of a hat, and then wondering how you lost your job after he dumped you. Get real about who the person is and whether you like and trust them.

Liz remembers, ‘I fancied my boss. But he was obsessed with work and did crazy hours. I knew he’d drive me nuts in two weeks.’

If you decide to go ahead, Be Wise. Don’t use the email system or hang around the object of your desire’s office or desk. A discreet phone call suggesting a drink after work is better. If they say no, accept it. Never pester. If they say yes, then meet well away from the office, out of work hours.

Jodie recalls, ‘I bumped into him on the train going home. It was too good a chance to miss. I asked him for a drink and it took off from there.’

Romance has blossomed

Resist the impulse to walk around at work with a huge, smug grin on your face. Remember to Be Discreet. This means don’t gossip about it, snog your new love in the office, try to meet behind the filing cabinets – or anywhere else and, above all, don’t practise favouritism.

Accept that people are going to know. Be honest.‘Yes, I’m seeing him’ – and leave it at that. With no gossip to fuel it, interest will soon die down.

Louise says, ‘We were the talk of the office. But, much as I wanted to talk about him all day, I didn’t, and so within a couple of weeks they’d found someone more interesting to gossip about.’

Next page: when things go well

It’s looking good

You’ve passed the initial hurdles – office troublemaker predicting doom, office gossip telling you about your new love’s last three relationships – and you reckon you’re in this for the long run. You can still work together as long as you Stay Professional, that is, get your jobs done as well or better than before, don’t make eyes at each other or have sex across your desk (ever) and remain two separate people at work.

Sally says, ‘We once almost got caught kissing in the stationery room. After that we agreed – never in the office – and that made things easier.’

It didn’t work out

You dumped him and can’t stand the sight of him now. Or perhaps he dumped you and you’re hurting like hell. And you have to go on seeing him at work. At this stage avoid drama and Resist Revenge. This includes everything from telling everyone what a hopeless lover he was to criticising his work. Doing this will only make you look bad.

Stick pins into his image at home if you want to, but at work behave beautifully. Smile, be polite, avoid talking about it to anyone and show the world – including him – that you’re over it and you’ve moved on.

Margaret regrets, ‘I told everyone what a pig he was, but later I wished I hadn’t because I damaged his reputation and, actually, he hadn’t behaved badly at all; he just didn’t want to go on seeing me.’

If things don't work out, transform your break-up into a bonus.