Guilt, disappointment, anger and frustration - passions were aroused in the iVillage debate on feeding your baby

'I desperately wanted to breast feed my first baby, but only managed it for three months because I was given bad advice. In tears, I put her on formula and hated not being able to feed her myself. When I was expecting my second baby, I was determined to breastfeed and, I'm happy to say, I did it for 14 months. Now I'm feeding my third who's three months old. I never have to worry about bottles, sterilising or running out of milk. I don't have to go downstairs in the middle of the night and, best of it all, it's free, healthy and meets all my baby's needs.'

'Being vegan made me more determined to feed my own baby with my own milk. My toddler is still breastfeeding at 13 months, and shows no signs of wanting to give up - she absolutely loves feeding from her mummy and, at times, even prefers breast milk to her meals. Breastfeeding is a very personal choice, but I would urge all mothers to give it a go, and to persevere if they can, because it is a beautiful experience. Breast really is best - cow's milk is designed for calves.'

I chose to bottle feed my son

'It really, really made me mad that I was constantly under pressure to change my mind and breastfeed him. People implied that I wasn't a good mother because I'd taken this option. This particularly annoyed me because, when I found out I was pregnant, my partner wanted me to have a termination and when I refused, he left me. I had enough guilty feelings and plenty of extra pressures, without any extra burden from every Tom, Dick and midwife who crossed my path. I am an intelligent woman with a good career and I resented being treated like a child who didn't know her own mind. If a mother knows all the facts and then makes her choice, she should never be made to feel guilty about it.'

Not to try breastfeeding is selfish

'When my son was born I was 17. I was determined to breastfeed. I put up with cracked and peeling nipples for weeks. I used breast pumps and expressed milk to enable other people to feed my son. It was wonderfully easy to feed him in the middle of the night and, even if he woke several times, my sleep never suffered badly. I lived in a deprived area of the south-west, and I constantly had pregnant friends saying to me: 'I ain't having a baby hanging off my t*t, I ain't a bl**ding cow'. I can't believe how selfish this view is. That is what breasts are for. So much research has been published on the benefits of breastfeeding, so please, even if you only try it for a few days, use what nature gave you.'

'It's a 'personal choice' if you smoke, or drink alcohol during your pregnancy, but that doesn't make it right. Women who choose to bottle-feed (rather than resorting to it because they have tried to breast-feed and failed) do so because they find it easier, less embarrassing, less stressful, less tiring, less-painful than breast-feeding. They do it because it suits their lifestyle. It's a selfish choice in that they are putting their own comfort before their baby's health and well being. I'd love to know what the writer (who claimed to have made a well informed choice to bottle-feed) read to convince her that formula is just as good for babies as breast-milk. She may be a very good mother, but she would have been an even better mother, if she had chosen to breastfeed her child.'

Don't make women feel guilty

'When I was pregnant with my first (and only) child, I made the decision that I would breastfeed because it was best for the baby. What seems to be overlooked is what is best for the mother. In my opinion, mothers are made to feel guilty about everything they do - whether it's about working or breastfeeding. When my son was born I was determined to give breastfeeding a go. It proved very difficult and I didn't get good advice and support from the midwives. I felt as if all the other mothers on the ward were managing and I was the only failure. I believe some babies take to the breast better than others and my baby wouldn't latch on. Feeling tired, drained and very upset, I made the decision to bottle-feed. The problem is that there's not enough help available, and just because it's what nature intended doesn't mean it comes naturally. I would just like to point out that comments like 'she would have been an even better mother if she'd chosen to breastfeed' from the woman above, are just the sort of comments that put women under pressure to succeed at breastfeeding and make them feel a failure as a mother, if it doesn't work out.'

You've taken my final comment out of context

'My point was that women who decide not to breastfeed from the outset are making this choice for their own benefit, not their child's. Are we not allowed to congratulate women for trying to breastfeed their babies for fear of making women who don't (or can't) feel bad? While you may have felt a great deal of pressure to breastfeed, the majority of women don't, judging by the extremely low levels of breastfeeding in this country. If you present the decision to breastfeed (or not) as being a value-free 'life-style' choice, then you are encouraging women to see breastfeeding and bottle-feeding as roughly equivalent, which they aren't. I'm not religious, but I think it's interesting that traditionally in Islam and in the Christian church, women were applauded for breastfeeding their own children. It was seen as a virtuous, moral thing to do because it involved self-sacrifice for the good of another. The difference today is that the multi-national corporations who manufacture formula milk have convinced women that formula is actually good for babies. OK, they do pay lip service to the 'breast is best' idea, but the general message that comes across is that formula is a very satisfactory substitute for breast milk.'

'Your comments about the lack of informed help available to mothers who are having difficulty breastfeeding are very valid. I received bad advice and little practical support from NHS staff, when I was having difficulty breastfeeding my daughter. However, it's not just the lack of advice and help that leads to such widespread failure or unwillingness to breastfeed. After all, in many developing countries, over 95% of women breastfeed successfully. Of course there's far more pressure to succeed at breastfeeding if you can't afford formula, or don't have access to clean water. The point is we don't have a breastfeeding 'culture' in this country. If you haven't grown up seeing women around you breastfeeding successfully, if it's something that's hidden away, then it becomes even harder for you to succeed yourself.'

Worth persevering

'I was determined to breastfeed my daughter, despite coming from a family of six girls who hadn't been breastfed. None of my sisters even entertained the idea of breastfeeding. My mother actually had some bizarre idea that breastfeeding would increase my chance of breast cancer. I had a very hard time at first, again because of poor advice from the hospital staff and, by the time I left hospital, my nipples were sore, cracked, scabby, and I was in tears every time my daughter suckled (every two hours). Sounds nightmarish, I know, but that only lasted for about seven days, and then I used nipple shields for a few feeds to give me time to heal. (This was also frowned on by the staff who hadn't given me proper help in the first place.) After that, everything fell into place, and my daughter and I enjoyed 16 months of trouble-free feeding. The problem is that there's no culture of breastfeeding in this country, and even the health professionals don't always give the best advice. For many women, breastfeeding doesn't come naturally, and has to be worked at by mother and child, but it's definitely worth the effort.'

How sanctimonious you all sound!

'My baby was bottle-fed and is perfectly healthy. Because we were using a bottle, he was not only fed by me, but by his dad, grandparents, cousin, my friends, etc. Not only did I bond with him, so did numerous friends who came to visit and give me support in the first few weeks and months. He's a happy, healthy toddler who is well balanced and loves company. Perhaps because he bonded with so many people in his early days? He also has a great relationship with me - maybe because I was able to get some time to myself when I was feeling low, and could ask someone else to look after him while I looked after myself? Is that selfish? Hardly, it's called getting a sense of balance in your life.

I think it's sad that breastfeeding gets such a bad press

'It can be hard in the first few weeks, but women who persevere with it find life becomes easy once breastfeeding is established. Women who give up on breastfeeding tend to do so within six weeks of giving birth, when the baby is still wanting to feed very frequently and the mother is unwell or suffering from mastitis or bleeding nipples. The early days aren't representative of the whole breastfeeding experience. By the time a child is six months old, they generally reduce the length of their feeds to between 3 to 5 minutes, so women who continue to breastfeed don't spend their whole lives plugged in. It depresses me that bottle feeding is seen as a liberating thing for mothers to do. There's nothing selfish about having time to yourself. Breastfeeding doesn't stop you from having a life or from spending time away from your baby.'

Hot potato or what!

'I desperately wanted an earth mother, natural birth with my first child, but ended up with pethidine, epidural and then an emergency Caesarean. He was very flat and was whisked off to SCBU, and so we did not have skin-to-skin contact for about four hours. Then my baby didn't want to feed, and I got cracked nipples. I could bore you all with my sob story, but I was absolutely devastated that I wouldn't be able to breastfeed. Then a fantastic midwife spent lots of time with me, and I breastfed for the next nine months. Yes, it was a hard start, but don't slag the NHS off, there are lots of dedicated midwives and health visitors, who will move heaven and earth to help us breastfeed. Another plus for breastfeeding is that it reduces the risk of ear infections for children, because the action of breastfeeding stimulates growth and development of the Eustachian tubes. Also, did you know that the formula milk companies have an annual budget of around £7 million to promote their products, whereas the government allows an annual budget of around half a million to promote breastfeeding. It's no wonder breastfeeding gets a poor press. I would like to see some famous women get their breasts out (not literally) in support of breastfeeding.'