Experiment with fabulous foreplay

What if you decided, along with your lover, to limit regular sex for 30 days and, instead, to try out new ways of relating with your minds, hearts, mouths and bodies? That's just what this doctor is ordering to get you to new heights of shared intimacy and off-the-scale pleasure. You don't have to abandon sex entirely, but at least for this week, try to keep your clothes on and don’t have intercourse. Believe me, it will pay off and add delight to your forays between the sheets.

What are the qualities in a mate or lover that get my motor running?

The first step is to start a Love Diary. This can be a velvet-bound notebook, electronic organiser or any other device that appeals to you. Keep your diary in a place where you can get to it in those early hours of the day, before you’re too distracted by your everyday routine. This is the best time to write a diary, a reliable technique for inner growth and personal assessment that has been recommended for centuries. Use your love diary to answer the following questions: What turns me on sexually? What are the qualities in a mate or lover that get my motor running? Is it having my hair brushed, a flirtatious smile or reading sexy love notes left on the fridge? Is it taut buttocks, messy hair, or feeling warm breath all over my neck? Try to focus on every possible aspect of what gets you going. Write down every thought that you can, every day. Watch for patterns. Watch for what your partner really does to you – or what you wish he would. During week one, let your diary be your guide. Try out some of your turn-ons with your partner and also keep indulging in your thoughts of foreplay fantasies. Be daring and keep notes on how you feel.

In another part of this diary, write down your vision for a successful sexual relationship – its qualities and characteristics. You may want to discuss this with your partner before you attempt to make your list. For example, do you want to have sex every day with multiple orgasms or are you simply satisfied with sex once in a blue moon – and not falling asleep during the act? Having a vision for what you want in a sexual relationship will help to guide you and keep you on course. This way, you'll know when you have reached your objectives and be able to tell when you are miles away from your targets. As you grow in your sexual relationship, you will move closer to your ideal.

Explore your foreplay patterns and skills
Did you know that the mouth is a sexual organ? When people kiss deeply, hormonal production kicks in and arousal cues are sent throughout the body. No wonder romantic stories are so filled with those deep, passionate, day-long, steamy kisses.

Learning how to be a good kisser takes intention and skill. Try different kissing styles and techniques with your lover. One exercise worth trying is to breathe into each other's mouths, consciously sharing breaths. At first, you may feel afraid to lose your breath, but then, gradually, you may learn to appreciate the intimacy this evokes. Keeping eye contact, by not closing your eyes, while you kiss also charges the connection and will deepen your sexual bond. From there, you can build to having 'eyes open' sex. Something amazing to look forward to.

Become more sensual in week two

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