Actor Sheila Hancock chatted to members and answered questions on the Breast Cancer Board on Thursday, September 13, 2001

Ms Hancock, star of BBC TV dramas, The Russian Bride and Bedtime, fought breast cancer more than 10 years ago. She was a rock of support for her husband, John Thaw, who received treatment for oesophageal cancer (cancer of the gullet). He died on February 21st 2002. Sheila Hancock is a patron of CancerBACUP, a charity which offers help and support to cancer sufferers. (John Thaw was also a patron of the charity up until his death). CancerBACUP are also partners on our Breast Cancer Support Board. Here’s what happened when Sheila visited the board.

Marieuk2000: How did having breast cancer change your life or inspire you to make radical changes to your lifestyle? We’re all rooting for John’s recovery.
Sheila Hancock:When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, it was my first brush with mortality. I thought I was going to live forever before then. So it made me more determined to enjoy life while I had it. On a practical level, I did improve my diet. I did take more time to rest. I did try not to get stressed out over ridiculous, unimportant things but, most importantly, I made a conscious effort to live the moment. I have a phrase which I constantly say to myself: ‘I am here now’. It makes you look around and appreciate the moment. Thanks for your thoughts for John.

Emma:What support did you get from the Bristol Cancer Help Centre? I believe you are a former patient.
Sheila Hancock:Bristol Cancer Help Centre was an enormous help to me. I went there for a week not long after I was diagnosed and I was feeling totally negative when I arrived. At the end of it, just the fact that I had taken time out to concentrate on myself and spoke to many people who had survived cancer, I came out feeling 100 per cent more positive. The general feeling is that a diagnosis of cancer is a death sentence. It is not necessarily, and here I am 14 years later to prove it. The important message from Bristol is to focus on yourself and your recovery.

Margaret:How should friends behave toward someone they love with cancer? Should they back off and let family members take the strain or pitch in?
Sheila Hancock:One of the good things about having cancer (unbelievably there are some) is the network of friends that you discover. The people I found most helpful were the people who had been through it themselves. Mainly new friends, made through support groups, Bristol, and people I met in hospital. As far as being a friend of somebody who is diagnosed, I think the most important thing is to carry on as normal. The worst thing in the world is to be treated as though you're already dead or some kind of victim. In fact you're the same person with a bloody awful illness.

Gloria:How have you conquered the fear of a relapse? My son of 17 is in the early stages of treatment for lymphoblastic leukaemia. The treatment itself seems hard to bear but how does one cope with the fear that the cancer may return?
Sheila Hancock:Your son is very young. He probably has a much more positive approach to his illness than you would think. After I was first diagnosed, every twinge I got was a relapse! I once remember worrying for a week quite seriously that I had cancer of the big toe. After all these years, it has become infinitely better although I would be foolish to pretend it has completely gone away. And indeed, I think it's sensible to be aware of your body and look out for danger signs as long as it doesn't become obsessive. Just as you would in fact had you not had cancer. Best wishes to yourself and your son.

Janice:Were you working when you found your lump and if so did you try to carry on while you were having treatment? How did you feel when you found out?
Sheila Hancock:Yes, I was filming when I took a shower and felt the lump. I had in fact been having regular mammographies for lumpy breasts which didn't pick up anything. Like many women I've met, I knew instinctively, straight away, that I had cancer before any of the tests that proved it. Obviously I was terrified and shocked. I couldn't believe that my hitherto healthy body had let me down. But after a while I decided I wasn't going to be beaten. I was either going to get better or die well! It's never easy but people do get through it.

Kirstin:When a loved one contracts cancer, apart from dealing with the horror of what they are feeling, there is always the terrible threat of death in the background. Is it best to acknowledge this or not?
Sheila Hancock:The questions you have raised surely apply to life in general. You talk about the threat of death, the fact of death is always in the background, every time you cross the road and the appalling events in New York at the moment demonstrate that. Can I repeat I really believe friends and relatives should carry on as normally as possible. Allow the patient to talk about it if they want to, and not if they don't. I never think it's a bad idea to talk about death. When you get to my age it would be stupid to ignore the fact that it's on the horizon. And somehow it becomes less scary if you look it in the face.

Jenny & Grace:Is there anything, which if it had been handled differently, could have made a positive difference to the way you coped with your illness?
Sheila Hancock:I did meet the occasional, rather brusque doctor or nurse, some of whom thought I had no right to ask difficult questions. This attitude has changed enormously in the medical profession. There are no longer so many patriarchial doctors and CancerBACUP is here to stand up for the rights of patients. Use it girls!

Belleangel2000:My mum recently had breast cancer which resulted in lumpectomies on both her breasts. At the same time my father had an affair and subsequently left her on her arrival home from hospital. Understandably her self-confidence has been badly affected. How can I make her believe that she is still a sexy, desirable woman?
Sheila Hancock:Oh poor you! And how lucky your mother is to have such an understanding daughter.I think she's dealing with two separate problems here. And I think you should encourage her to get fit and well first. If you are implying that scars on her breasts make her less sexy - not so! And any man that thinks so isn't worth bothering with anyway! It really comes back to what I said before. One has to value oneself and not depend on the attitude of others. It sounds as though she's well shot of her husband anyway. Although obviously you and her can't possibly think that at the moment. I do send you and your mother my very best wishes at this horrid time.

Beryl:It is really good news to hear of your involvement with CancerBACUP and I am sure your association with the organisation will bring much greater awareness of cancer issues to the public and will be of great benefit.
Sheila Hancock:How nice of you. A lot of people have helped me in the past. The least I can do is try to repay the help I received. Thanks again for your kind thoughts.

Audie:Does the information and memory from your own battle with cancer help or hinder you emotionally in dealing with your husband’s cancer?
Sheila Hancock:Regardless of cancer I believe when it comes down to it, nobody can ever quite live your life for you. If you have a shock or grief or problem, ultimately only you can deal with it – hopefully, with somebody holding your hand. The best I can do is hold John's hand.

Kevin:What can I do to prevent getting cancer. I’ve stopped smoking and watch my diet.
Sheila Hancock:Nobody can ensure that they won't get cancer. But it sounds as though you're doing everything possible to lessen the likelihood. Above all, to stop smoking, eat a reasonable diet and then forget about it and enjoy yourself.

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