Life as a young mum is never easy. But if your leap from schoolgirl to teen mum has left you feeling like a misfit, read on for advice and support

It's a Friday night and your mates are getting ready for a big night out. Top of the Pops is on the telly and mobile phones buzz with calls and text messages in order to finalise plans for the evening ahead. Outside your window, you can hear the clatter of heels as the girls you went to school with run to catch the bus into town.

You, meanwhile, are sitting at home in your tracky pants while your baby cries in his bouncy chair as he struggles with wind. You haven't had time to wash your hair for three days and the baby needs his nappy changing. Not to mention the bottles that need sterilising, the formula that needs mixing and the clothes that need sorting...

You don't need us to tell you how tough it can be to be a young mum these days. Not only can it be difficult to mix with your old mates like you used to, but somehow you just don't fit in with all the thirtysomething mums who gossip together at playgroup either. Then there's the stigma the media attaches to 'gym slip' mums and the fact that your family don't approve. It's no wonder a teen mum can feel a bit isolated and overwhelmed at times.

A stressful time
Londoner Trina Pursell, 20, certainly recognises those feelings. She gave birth to her son Christopher when she was 16. 'When I discovered I was pregnant at 16 it was a terrible shock but I never considered not keeping my baby,' she says. 'However, my parents were horrified. They didn't like my boyfriend Chris anyway, so when I told them I was four months' pregnant they went mad. My dad chucked me out of home so I went to stay with Chris and his mum, but eventually my mum came to accept the idea and I moved back home.

'I'd left school by this point because I just found it too stressful to continue. I was also getting a lot of grief from my dad because he couldn't handle it and he barely spoke to me throughout my pregnancy. It was awful because I felt as if he hated me. I was really scared and I really needed my parents' support.'

Fortunately, Trina's home situation improved when her son was born. 'When Chris was born, Dad sort of fell in love with him and I think he felt that there was no going back now so we might as well make the best of the situation. Now he's a doting grandad and my mum adores him too. It's all worked out now but I don't remember my pregnancy as anything other than an incredibly stressful, upsetting time.'

Think positive
Of course, being a young mum isn't all bad news. Gemma Parvey gave birth to her son Joshua when she was 16. Now 19, she believes that young mums have loads to offer their children and can and do make brilliant parents. 'Because I'm young, I've got tons of energy to spend running around playing with Joshua,' she explains. 'I can get right into it when we go to playgroups together and because I'm young and there's just the two of us we are very close. I do get to go out occasionally but I'm not bothered that I'm not out every night.

'Having a baby so young made me grow up quickly but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. It's made me focus on what I want to do, so when Josh starts school in a year or two I'm going to go back to college and study childcare or social work. After all, I've got to do it for him as much as for myself.'

Finding friends
Despite all the negative press that young mums get, there is support out there. Mums of all ages need help and understanding because parenthood is one of the most important and demanding roles we can ever take on. However, if you're feeling a bit overwhelmed by your responsibilities it can really help to talk to someone who's in the same situation as you. Meeting other mums and their babies through playgroups is an ideal way to mix with others (and keep hold of your sanity!), so ask your midwife, health visitor or doctor or check at your local health clinic for details on groups specifically any aimed at teenage mums. You might even think of starting up your own group in a local hall or health centre.

Teenage mums can also find support on the Internet. If you want to chat to others in the same situation as you, try the iVillage message board Teenage Mums or visitwww.smilechild.co.uk for loads of links to parenting and teen parenting sites. If you're struggling financially or you need to know what your rights are, go to www.connexions.gov.uk, a site specifically aimed at teenagers that explains in normal language all you need to know about your entitlements as a teen mum.

Never alone
According to government statistics, Britain now has 56,000 teenage mums, 8,000 of whom are under 16. So if you're one of that number but feel as if you're the only one juggling GCSEs with junior in tow, then remember that there are lots of other girls in the same situation. Life with a baby in the house isn't always easy and teen mums can have it tougher than most, but knowing that the support is out there will help.

Get more help
Meet-a-Mum Association
58 Malden Avenue
South Norwood
London SE25 4HS
Tel: 020 8656 7318

Gingerbread (for single parents)
49 Wellington Street
London WC2B 7BN
Tel:020 7240 0953