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The secret of happiness is to have a purpose to life. Set and achieve your life goals
Happy life
Research suggests that to be truly happy you need to be aware of what's happening outside yourself, beyond the here and now. You need to set goals, look into the future optimistically and have a sense of meaning in life.
Have a positive outlook
When life events strike, they may bowl you over, but there are mental strategies you can follow in order to cope. If you want to be happy:
Take credit for the past. Research suggests that happy people have a simple mental strategy towards life. When they think about something good that happened to them, they explore how they personally contributed to that good feeling and feel happy about themselves. If something bad happens to them, they'll address the matter, but do not take it personally. Instead, they learn the lesson the problem may offer and then move on.
Don't blame others. If you put all your failures down to other people, you put yourself in their power. The message you send yourself is that you can't do anything. So while you mustn't take everything on board, do take responsibility for when things go wrong. Work out what you need to do for the desired result and don't fall into the trap of believing that others can hinder you.
Get some hope. If you catch yourself thinking that things aren't going to work out, then think again. Remember that most things work out better than you fear - so imagine that your fears are ungrounded and that success is ahead. Rather than thinking of the problems and getting desperate, imagine the best outcome and then work out what you need to do to make that happen. You'll not only be more likely to get a result - you'll also feel happier.
More resources
Positive Living by Vera Peiffer (Piatkus Books)
Embracing Uncertainty by Susan Jeffers (Hodder & Stoughton)
The importance of goals
If you lose your sense of motivation, you'll also lose your essential sense of contentment with life. You need to set yourself goals and stay focused on them. If you want to be happy:
Set goals. Research suggests that having goals in life makes people feel good - so make sure you always have something to aim for. But equally, make sure your aims are positive ones. They need to be clear - you know what you want. They need to be realistic - within your grasp.
Stay motivated. Make sure you reach your goals by identifying what you need to do to achieve them. Then break down the 'to do' list into realistic bite-sized chunks. Reward yourself along the way and if you still lose heart, find support. If you really can't keep going, stop and ask whether what you're aiming for is right for you. If it isn't, then have the courage to admit that fact to yourself and change your goal.
Celebrate your victories. Once you reach a goal, it's tempting to move on immediately to another. But you'll lose all motivation if you don't celebrate your success. Give yourself time to savour your achievement. Crack open a bottle of champagne. Throw a party. Accept and welcome presents. Do these things regularly anyway, even when you haven't an achievement to celebrate, in order to celebrate life!
More resources
Shift Your Thinking, Change Your Life by Mo Shapiro (Sheldon Press)
Write It Down, Make It Happen by Henriette Anne Klauser (Simon & Schuster)
How to Make Your Dreams Come True by Mark Forster (Help Yourself)
The meaning of life
To keep your good mood stable, you need to keep some sense of meaning in your existence - not just focusing on you. If you want to be happy:
Find your mission. Everyone needs to feel that they are here on earth for a purpose. What's your aim in life? What do you want to achieve? How do you want to be remembered? Your aim might be to succeed in your career, to have a superb marriage, to raise healthy and happy children. Identify your purpose by looking at the things that enthuse you - and let that purpose inform what you do and the decisions you make in life.
Follow your morals. Studies suggest that if you have some guiding principles in your life, then you'll feel more contented within yourself. You don't have to believe in formal religion - but you should follow a moral code. Take regular time out to think about what you believe in and how you feel you should act - then act accordingly.
Connect with something beyond. Finding the meaning in life isn't just about striving and achieving. You need to have times when you let go and allow yourself to be aware of something 'bigger than you are'. Listen to uplifting music. Watch sunsets. Take a meditation or yoga course. Take regular nature walks. These things don't just feel good, they're essential to your happiness.
More resources:
Teach Yourself to Meditate by Eric Harrison (Piatkus Books)
Be Your Own Life Coach by Fiona Harrold (Hodder Mobius)
Visit the British Wheel of Yoga website
Introducing The Happiness Workshop:
Quiz: The Happiness Test
Week one: Happy body
Week two: Happy mind
Week three: Happy interactions
Week four: Happy life
Message board: Get happy
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