The key to self-tanning lies in the cleanse-exfoliate-moisturise routine and a pair of polythene gloves...

We all want to be brown, but that doesn't mean we Brits can necessarily get a tan. This is largely due to (a) rubbish British weather, (b) rubbish pale British skins and (c) fears about nasty things like skin cancers.

But a tan is possible, even in this country, thanks to those glorious things called fake tanning lotions. These lotions are a far cry from the alarming jars of orange paint some of us once coated ourselves in (or, judging from recent photos of David Dickinson, still do) because the beauty industry has finally learned that, when it comes to the prospect of getting a tan out of a tube, we really are willing to pay for quality.

But not all self-tanning creams are created equal. One of the newest on our shelves is Palmer-Cutler, the brainchild of Patsy Palmer and Charlotte (sister of Fran) Cutler - and the result is definitely less scary than the image of this partnership is. Their Body Regime Kit (£38) is a rather nifty idea as it includes a body exfoliator, wash and moisturiser as well as the fake tan, ensuring that you don't skip those first three steps which really are necessary to getting a smooth tan. Unfortunately, the products themselves aren't actually that effective and the tan itself is probably best for ladies like Misses Palmer and Cutler who are naturally very pale of hue. While the subtle effect is all very well, the only difference it made to this tester's skin was leaving behind a shiny and sticky film.

Sisley's Fluid Body Cream (£54) has a similar effect and, although its Sun Glow Gel (£31) is a little better, it lost points for being decidedly too whiffy for its own good. Revlon's Tinted Self Tanner in Matte (£8.49) (always go for matte, ladies - if you opt for 'shimmer' you end up looking like an Atomic Kitten wannabe) is also fragranced, but with such a girlishly sweet smell that it makes you smile instead of recoil.

So, which are the best tanning lotions? Well, out of those I tested, it really is a dead heat between Lancôme and Estee Lauder's ranges. The former's Flash Bronzer Self-Tanning Magic Mousse (£17) might look a bit scary when you first squirt that dark brown gunk out on your arm, but it is actually quite marvellous, leaving not a streak, smear nor scent.-Estee Lauder's Go Tan range, meanwhile, can be used with complete peace of mind.

However, all this will amount to nothing if you don't prepare your skin first. As we said earlier, you really do have to do the whole cleanse-exfoliate-moisturise routine first, and then wait at least half an hour before putting on the brown gunk. But most importantly of all, unless you want orange palms for the rest of the summer, protect your hands when applying the cream. Yes, you may well get funny stares when you purchase your pack of polythene gloves from the local chemist but it's a small price to pay for sexy bronzed skin.