Feeling furious? Women are prone to bottling up anger, which can have repercussions on their health. Christine Aziz reports

We know the signs - the sudden heightening of colour, the tightening mouth and raised voice. This is a woman losing her temper but, however brief her loss of control, she also risks losing face and her dignity.

It takes a special skill for a woman to lose her temper well, and pharmacist, Carla Wright, 29, from Norwich knows she has yet to acquire it. 'I throw things when I get really angry,' she says miserably. Her partner, Jonathan Glass, 32, ducks and then screams back. 'It's always over such little things,' says Carla. 'For example, we share a car and he always leaves in it a mess, even though he knows it irritates me. It's a little thing, and I don't say anything for a while, until the crisp packets and fag ash pile up and I come in banging and slamming doors and start screaming at him. Then everything else that irritates me comes up and he gets defensive. I even threw a chair at him once.'

Afterwards Carla is left feeling remorseful and Jonathan hurt and resentful. 'She says such nasty things that I feel like emptying a dustbin into the car. I don't know why she can't be reasonable. When she loses her temper, she picks on every little thing and shouts.'

While anger is an emotion we are all familiar with, women are often labelled out of control, uptight or highly-strung when they lose their temper. That's in contrast to men who can come across as strong and assertive if they lose theirs, however inappropriately. After an outburst women usually end up making exaggerated apologies. In Carla's case, she finds herself constantly whimpering, 'I don't know what came over me.'

Research carried out by psychologist Sharon Cahill, while a Ph.D. student in psychology at Glasgow's Caledonian University, showed that, despite decades of feminism and greater equality in the workplace, society still has a negative perception of angry women.

Many women feel they are caught in a catch-22. If they express anger they are often seen as irrational or hysterical; if they bottle it up, they are seen as calculating,' says Dr Cahill, adding that one of the biggest causes of female anger is the endless expectations that are placed on women.

One of the research participants said, 'I don't have time to get angry. I have my husband's meals to prepare, the children to get off to school, the tea to make.' Another problem faced when venting negative feelings was the fact that women are often seen in a nurturing role. 'How can you be angry with someone when you are also supposed to be taking care of them?' asked another participant.

Women also face difficulties in the workplace. 'If you get angry in a work situation, it is often perceived that you are not coping, whereas men's anger at work is seen as much more legitimate and positive,' Dr Cahill says.

Like many women, reflexologist Jane Harvey, 35 from Ealing, London, has problems expressing her anger. 'I can feel it welling up inside, but I swallow it down. I don't know where it goes'. She says. 'When I was little my older brother and I used to argue a lot, but whenever I started to lose my temper, my dad said it wasn't ladylike. It made me look ugly. He never said the same to my brother who was allowed to scream and shout as much as he wanted. Consequently his anger problem is that he can't control it.'

According to a study by the University of Aberdeen and funded by the Economic and Social Research Council, women like Jane who suppress their emotions can be left with even more angry feelings. The investigation's results showed that women in the study, who suppressed their anger, reported feeling angrier, more outraged and upset than their male counterparts.

Psychologist Sandi Mann of the University of Central Lancashire and author of Hiding What We Feel, Faking What We Don't (Element) says concealing angry emotions - in both males and females - can have a negative affect on a person's well-being.

'Most would argue suppressing anger is bad for you and can lead to raised blood pressure and other associated problems, but actually expressing anger can also be bad for you,' she says. 'The best solution is to express the anger, but in a healthy way. Having a shouting match is not a good idea but it might be that writing something down is just as effective.'

Anger management and women

Anger takes many forms and can be passive-aggressive, violent, simmering, or sulky. Whatever guise it takes, it:

• consumes huge amounts of mental and physical energy
• takes from enjoyment in life
• interferes with constructive thinking
• threatens relationships and career prospects
• undermines self esteem
• can lead to a number of physical illnesses, particularly of the liver and heart, and if suppressed over a long period can lead to depression.
• can kill - if obsessive, uncontrolled and violent
• As many women as men are attending the anger management programmes provided by the British Anger Management Association (BAMA). 'Women are much quicker at dealing with their anger and will come for a workshop after a few outbursts, but men will take a long time before they decide to change,' says BAMA chairman, Mike Fisher. 'Most of the women we work with are more passive-aggressive than men. For instance, women tend to talk about partners behind their backs, saying things they know their partner won't like. They complain that their partners won't do things they've promised to do or cancelled arrangements at short notice.

BAMA'S top six anger tips
1. When anger starts, take a step back - stop, think, look at the bigger picture.
2. Other people have a different reality - opinions are not facts and people are entitled to a different view of the world or a situation that is not shared by you.
3. Listen to what is being said. Observe, verify, clarify and empathise.
4. Have safety and support networks.
5. Keep a journal and write everything down so anger is not internalised. After a while read it back and see if you are accurate in your view of the situation, or if you have been projecting your distress on others.
6. Don't take anything personally that has been said in anger

Starving anger
There are certain foods that feed anger. Research by the Psychology department at Oxford University show that vitamins and minerals, along with fish oil are vital for calmer behaviour and brain function. According to the research young criminals in jail behaved better and committed fewer offences when taken off diets high in refined carbohydrates and saturated fats and put on a diet of fresh fruit, vegetables, oil-rich fish, nuts and seeds boosted by vitamins, minerals and fatty acid supplements.

Chemicals in canned drinks disturb brain function and interfere with the absorption of nutrients. Some people are particularly sensitive to these types of chemicals, making them over-reactive and potentially violent. Blood sugar levels, too, can be key factors in preventing mood swings and anger. Ian Marber, The Food Doctor notes, 'Low blood glucose is very involved in anger and panic attacks. Thus many dieters who eat little in the hope that they will lose weight can be prone to anger.'

Marber advises people to eat little and often and to minimise the amount of sugar and caffeine they consume. 'You should ideally be eating plenty of fibre and including protein at every meal,' he says.