There's a secret society that still dares not speak its name. Yet 5.8 million people in Britain - that's one in eight of us - are members. Welcome to the world of the carer

We seldom think about what it would be like to care for another person full-time. In fact, we often deliberately avoid dwelling on it - caring is monotonous, difficult and gloomy. We know that people get ill, become disabled, grow old and frail, yet caring for relatives and loved ones is still something that only other people do, not ourselves.

The 2001 census established that there are 5.8 million carers in the UK. One in eight people are spending a significant proportion of their lives looking after someone who is unable to cope on their own. And experts believe that the true number of carers is even higher because many carers don't even acknowledge their role as a carer. They believe that what they are doing is nothing more than their duty.

It's no great shock to discover that people looking after an elderly parent make up the largest proportion of carers, but you'll be surprised by the other reasons people become carers. People look after disabled children, care for relatives who have had accidents and nurse those with serious or terminal diseases.

But shockingly, many carers are children - looking after a younger sibling or parent at a tremendous personal cost. Recent figures reveal an alarming increase in the number of children under 18 providing care within their family. In 1996 it was estimated that there were 51,000 young carers, but this has now nearly tripled to 149,000. The real figure could be much higher as many families do not recognise the caring role that a child is playing and therefore do not publicly acknowledge it.

Many adults who suffer, for instance, from drug and alcohol abuse problems are unwilling to even admit that they are ill, let alone that one or more of their children is being forced to look after them. These young carers often suffer emotionally and academically because they are looking after parents without the knowledge of the school or the support of the social services.

Those caring for people with mental health problems are also frequently amongst the hidden carers. The stigma still associated with mental illness means that many of them prefer to struggle on in silence and without help rather than reveal the truth. Even if they do ask for help, many carers find it difficult to get the support they need. Formal assessments of their situation take too long and Social Services are hampered by a lack of cash and a lack of resources.

Neil Traynor from The Princess Royal Trust for Carers(PRTC) says that while we can get our heads around the fact that we may have to care for our parents in the future, there are some situations that come as a bolt out of the blue. 'One carer I know had been looking forward to her retirement,' he reveals. 'A couple of days after she left work, her son was in the bath andslipped and broke his neck and is now completely paralysed. This sort of thing is not part of your lifeplan but you have to deal with it.' And people all over the country are doing just that every minute of every day.

For many carers, the hardest thing to cope with is the isolation. Often unable to leave the home for any length of time or to have guests, they are trapped in a life which can feel repetitive and stifling. Those looking after sick partners have the the added loss ofan equal and nurturing relationship.

Crossroads, a charity supporting Carers, provides a sitting service for carers, so that they can have a couple of hours of freedom. But more often than not, this time is used to go to the supermarket and the bank - the day-to-day errands that the rest of us take for granted. This leaves little or no time for any leisure pursuits.

Quite apart from the emotional and physical impact on carers, they also have many other problems to deal with. If a carer has a job, juggling home and work commitments is a daily struggle. Some employers are supportive and allow staff members in this situation to work flexible hours. Unfortunately, the majority of employers fail to make allowances for the extra stresses working carers are subjected to.

This lack of support has forced many carers to leave their jobs. PRTC found that 49 per cent of carers surveyed had to give up their jobs to allow them to look after a relative. Many of those who do manage to maintain both aspects of their lives find that they are unable to accept promotion because they know that the extra responsibility will affect their caring role.

Many people who have devoted their lives to looking after someone else suffer terrible feelings of guilt if they decide they can no longer cope with caring.There is a sadness that they have to pass on the care of a beloved child or partner into the hands of strangers, however good the care may be. Tough though caring is, most carers wouldn't have it any other way. Many of them find the work fulfilling and rewarding and say that they gain real companionship with those they are caring for.

The organisations working on behalf of carers want to ensure that carers no longer remain hidden and that they come forward and get as much support as they can.They are also driving for greater recognition of the efforts they make on behalf of society as a whole. Neil Traynor says: 'It might be hard work, but knowing that people out there value and acknowledge what you are doing makes all the difference.' It's time for hidden carers to come out into the open.

Carers can get advice and join in discussions with other carers on iVillage's Carer's And Cared For message board.