Child abduction is the ultimate fear of any parent. With frenzied coverage of each case from Jamie Bulger to Holly and Jessica, the world feels like a terrifying place for today's children. But is it actually more dangerous for kids today or are we becoming over anxious?

Children in the UK are safer than almost anywhere else in the world. So why are parents allowing deep seated fears about the safety of their children to dominate their lives? When child safety expert police Inspector Tim Bonnett chatted to parents on ivillage's Child Safety Board, many of them expressed the view that it was not safe for their children to be out of their sight. 'With everything that happens in today's world, children going missing etc, I hate my children going anywhere without me,' said a mother of two, aged ten and seven. Another mum admitted to being terrified whenever her daughter played outside with friends even though she is rarely out of her sight.

Of course some level of worry is a natural and essential part of parental responsibility, but are our fears directed at the real risks to children today? Are our children really likely to be snatched by an evil stranger the moment we look away? Newspaper rhetoric and our own nostalgia hark back to the golden age of our own childhoods when we could roam free in a less evil world. The reality is that children are no more likely to be abducted and killed than 30 years ago. Less than ten children are 'snatched' by strangers each year.

The real risks
The overwhelming majority of child abuse cases come from within the home and are perpetrated by a parent of guardian. As Inspector Bonnett said, if you do hear of an abduction or child abuse case in your area, check it out with the police and ninety percent of the time it will be a family member who is responsible. The problem for the police is that abuse in the home is far more difficult to track down and prove - the tragedy for most abused children is that no one ever knows. From the point of view of an anxious parent though, it's important to realise that most child abuse cases are not due to paedophilic desires but are caused by more immediate power struggles in a family, these people are not really interested in anyone else's children, just their own.

A far greater danger to children outside the home is our aggressive driving culture of rat runs and road rage. Britain has one of Europe's worst records for child pedestrian accidents with more than 100 children killed on the streets every year. Despite this shocking statistic, child deaths on the road barely get a mention in the national press and there was just one question on road safety addressed to Chief Inspector Bonnet in the iVillage safety chat. Our concern as parents might be more appropriately directed at campaigning for safer driving laws, educating our children about road safety and driving far more carefully and thoughtfully ourselves.

Media madness
So why, given the facts, are our fears so focussed on strangers? More and more playgrounds have notices warning unaccompanied adults to stay away. Parents insist their children carry mobile phones. Airlines refuse to sit children travelling on their own next to men travelling on their own. In fact, we have almost reached the point where a male stranger cannot speak to, or even look at a child without raising suspicion. One ivillager posted a message about two suspicious 'grubby looking' men in a park who may have been dads watching their children play. Fathers are often made to feel like criminals if they are seen playing with their kids. The terrible result is that many men feel guilty and unnatural for simply wanting to cuddle their own children. You have to wonder what impact this has on the kids themselves. Children are extraordinarily perceptive, so what do they make of this culture of guilt and caution centred around them?

The media is largely responsible for our skewed view of child safety. Even though child snatching and abuse by a stranger is extremely rare, they feel more common because the newspapers devote so much space to them. Exceptional stories like last summer's tragic abduction and murder of the Cambridgeshire primary school girls, Holly Chapman and Jessica Wells, saturate the media for about three months. It is almost three years since Sara Payne's daughter was abducted and murdered by Roy Whiting, yet Payne is still regularly in the headlines and there can be few parents who do not intimately know her gaunt face, and know that they would do anything not to be in her shoes. This huge awareness focuses everyone's attention and efforts on what are very unusual incidents, some would say to the detriment of much larger groups like all the children needlessly maimed and killed on our roads.

Freedom vs. safety
Some children's groups have started to campaign against this over cautious culture and for parents to take a more level headed approach to their children's safety. Recent research from the Children's Play Council shows how far parents have gone in restricting their children's freedoms. It's increasingly difficult for children to gradually grow-up through learning basic responsibilities like walking to school and playing outside with their own peer group. Professor Charles Desforges, educational psychologist, says that over protective parents can put their children at risk. 'Children need to experience life to learn to cope in the adult world. Too many restrictions leave a child feeling over anxious and unprepared to cope with the unexpected situation.'

Negotiating these first freedoms can be hugely difficult for loving parents. A good time to start is as secondary school approaches. At ten years of age, children are old enough to have dangers explained to them and they will need their street wisdom to survive the approaching change of school. 'It is a hard job as a parent to go through the gradual process of letting go and giving your child extra freedom,' says Bonnett, but there are lots of dangers is keeping your children wrapped up for too long in cotton wool. Bonnett suggests parents set boundaries for their children, agree rules and the reasons for them. 'Remember, the key rules are not to go out alone, go with friends; tell your parents where you are going and if you change your plans tell them; and don't talk to anyone who is not known to you expect a police officer or other official person.'