Media coverage certainly makes today's world feel like a dangerous place for children but is it really worse than before? Police Inspector Tim Bonnett talked to iVillage parents about their child safety concerns. Here's what was said:

Angel: I have two boys aged 15 and 12. I think my biggest fear for them is when they get older and start to go out socialising. I often find myself worrying that in the future they will end up getting into fights. I know it will be a few years until they go out drinking, but should I start to discuss this with them now?

I feel that they are responsible, especially the older son. He doesn't give us cause for concern at all at the moment, he has a couple of good friends but he doesn't hang around in gangs. So really I'm asking what advice can you give me about keeping them safe when they get older?

Inspector Tim Bonnet: This is a valid concern. The key things are to make sure that your children understand which places are and are not safe. A good tip is to look at local papers and see where problems occur and advise your sons to avoid them.

If they have good sensible friendship groups they will probably do that anyway as very few kids look for trouble. I have two sons aged 17 and 15 and they understand that there are plenty of places they can go safely but others that are best avoided. Always ensure that they tell you truthfully where they are going and, if they change their plans, that they let you know the change. And, if they hook up with a friend who worries you, talk them about that and advise them that this person may not be a good friend.

Sue: With everything that happens in today's world, I hate my children going anywhere without me. They are ten and seven. I do let them play outside with their friends but I am out every five minutes checking on them. I know this probably sounds fair enough but I feel like I can't relax as I constantly need to know they are safe.

My daughter, who is nearly 11, will be going to High School this year and this will involve going on the school bus. I feel terrified of the thought of letting her go somewhere without me. She is quite sensible and she will be travelling with a friend, but I will worry myself to death.

Some of their friends are allowed to pop over to the shop or go to the park for an hour or so, in a group, but I have never let her do this, I fear it is too dangerous. The trouble is, most of her friends her age don't play with her anymore because she isn't allowed to go where they can and she has to play with friends younger than her. I know I am being very protective but I love them so much, I would hate anything to happen.

Inspector Tim Bonnet: It is a hard job as a parent to go through the gradual process of letting go and giving your child extra freedom.

You sound like you are doing many of the right things. You know your child's friends and they seem fine. You know where she goes and where she is. You now have to steal yourself to trust your daughter to be a little independent.

You must listen to her and try not to let your fear undermine her confidence. If not you will stifle her growth as a person and actually make her more vulnerable. Every child needs to acquire a bit of street wisdom It is not easy for a parent - negotiate with your child, set limits, but don't worry over-much or your daughter will end up doing things behind your back.

Marie: How old should a child be before you agree to let him/her go on a school outing to a museum or the zoo? I'm horrified to see the way very young primary school children are supervised by teachers on tubes. There are often 30 tiny tots managed by just two teachers who faced with a rush of tube travellers have a terrible time keeping their charges in sight. What questions should a parent ask when their child asks permission to go on a school trip?

Inspector Tim Bonnett: Before a school trip is planned the school or group must carry out a risk assessment of the journey and where they are going and ensure there are sufficient staff to manage the trip with the number of children.

Always make sure you have details of the travel arrangements and the purpose of the trip. A good way to achieve peace of mind and help the school is to offer to go along as a helper. You will then get an inside look and help the school at the same time. There is no right age - if the school sees the benefit, trust their judgement as professionals.

Christina: My four year old daughter is learning her green cross code and wants me to stand back and let her cross the road by herself (I don't let her). I just wondered what age do you think it is suitable to let a child cross the road on their own?

Inspector Tim Bonnett: I am glad your child is learning this essential safety skill. You are right that at four she is too young to cross the road without the help of an older person - even an older child. A child so young cannot correctly judge the speed of vehicles and other hazards. A good start would be to let your child use a Pelican or Zebra crossing with you watching and then move onto a road with no designated crossing. You are NOT being over protective.

Sam: My daughter is eight-years-old old and, being a very independent child, she likes to go out with her friends. With the summer holidays looming what kind of safety information would you tell a group of eight to twelve-year-olds when playing out, do you think they should keep money to ring home? Self defence classes? They are normally just five minutes walk away from the house.

She has been allowed to play at the local park with her friends for a few months now, they are only allowed in a group of three or more, they know not to separate and wander off on their own, they know to come straight home if anyone bothers them and they are really good at letting parents know if they are going to be somewhere else.

They are pretty good at following these instructions and I do think that allowing them a bit of independence is good for their social skills and their self-confidence. I know I learnt a lot from being allowed to play out and take a bit of responsibility for myself. I would be interested to hear a professional opinion on this though.

Inspector Tim Bonnett: You are doing all the right things. You have set appropriate boundaries and given sensible advice that alerts not alarms your child. You are clearly a good loving and careful parent who is also letting your child grow and become independent.

Badly ironed girl: Is there a way of getting the stranger-danger message across to children without terrifying them? How do you strike a balance between warning them of the dangers without making them worry every time they go out?

Also, when there is a lot of media coverage of a missing or abducted child do you have any suggestions on the best way to talk to your children about this?

Inspector Tim Bonnett: The best way to discuss this is to agree on certain boundaries and discuss the reasons for them. The key rules are:

1. Don't go out alone, go with friends
2. Tell me where you are going and if you change your plans, always let me know.
3. Don't talk to anyone who is not known to you except a police officer or other official person.

The events of last summer shocked us all. They are very rare and your child will probably be safe in your neighbourhood. Show your child the safe places to play and the safe ways to get there, avoiding dark alleys, unlit paths etc. Going out with friends is more fun than going alone as well as safer. You want to know where your child is because you love them and care about them. It is not easy but it is essential that you alert not alarm your child.

Everyone_say_cheese: Do you think that parents are teaching their children enough about personal safety? A lot of parents want to say things to their children, like not talking to strangers without frightening them. But, I feel that children should be told of the dangers in a more direct manner.

Inspector Tim Bonnett: It is important to alert your child to danger, not alarm them. You should not be too explicit - 'Bad people can try to hurt you' is enough. As they get older, you might want to tell both boys and girls that they need to beware of any touching that makes them feel uncomfortable and to tell you about it.

The danger does come from strangers but can also from people close to them - even people they trust. They need to recognise when they do not feel safe and react appropriately by leaving the situation. The key safety tip is to avoid being alone in a public place whenever possible. It is more fun with friends and definitely safer.

Shemy: I am looking for some advice about my two-year-old daughter. She is a very bright wee girl (I know I'm biased, but she is very good at talking!), and has always been sociable. She says 'Hello' to everyone she sees, and it's lovely because people on the street always smile when she says hello, I guess it must be nice to see a wee cutie smiling at you and being friendly.

Yesterday, she was on the back steps and I was in the kitchen. I heard her saying 'What's your name?' and then she came in and said 'I was talking to Jim'. I looked out and there was a man from the council in next-door's garden, doing some repairs. I asked him if she had been talking to him, and he said she had asked his name and he'd told her it was Jim.

This was fine, as I was within earshot, but here's my concern: How do I explain without frightening her that she shouldn't talk to strangers. I have told her not to, because some people might not want to be friends, but I don't want to fill her young head with worry. She won't be out of my sight for a long time yet, so do you think it's best to leave it for now?

Inspector Tim Bonnett: It is difficult with a child so young to get her to understand. It sounds like you have got a bright open child. Use that to talk to her regularly about her activity as you did here. If you get a sense that she has felt uncomfortable in a situation then discuss that with her.

Normally bright outgoing children gain social awareness quickly and realise that there are people who don't want to talk or who make them feel uneasy. If you help your daughter to learn by talking to her, she will quickly learn from your experience.

Tara: Do you think the world has become a more dangerous place? Are the streets less safe than say, 20 years ago, when I was a child? I grew up in London and both at school and at home we were told to never go home with strangers. But, safety seems to be a much bigger issue and concern these days. Just wondered what your thoughts are.

Inspector Tim Bonnett: Sadly the world can be a less safe place than it was. The key is to look at your own local area and work out how safe it is. I am happy to let my children go to certain places and not others and that is no different from when I grew up. You need to carefully help your children to understand that there are dangers, to recognise when they are unhappy with a situation and how they should react.

It is not often realised that there were as many child murders in 1965 as in 1995. This type of crime is extremely rare. The world seems less safe because we all hear about dreadful things that happen. With proper care for personal safety, it can be as safe as ever.

Christina: I always remember the school holidays as magical times where I roamed all the place. I would get up in the morning and not come home till late, we had a disused railway line near us that was overgrown and went on for miles, us kids spent all summer there.

My question is, what's changed? Are parents just more aware of the dangers now? Or is the world a more dangerous place. I know children were harmed back in those days but it just seems so much more common now. Little Sarah, Holly and Jessica - it's awful .How can we keep our children safe but still give them the freedom we had as children or is that impossible?

Inspector Tim Bonnett: There are many more dangers - mostly from the busy roads and so on rather than criminals. The key is to recognise dangers when they are there. You know your local area and should show your child where it is safe to play, safe routes to get there and so on. I am not sure that wandering off all day would work - depends on their age and the environment. It would be better if that was the plan that they had a mobile with them so they could be contacted or seek help if needed.

Children need to feel free and happy but also safe. It is a difficult balance but most parents manage it very well. The horror that happened to Sarah, Holly and Jessica is very very unusual. The difference is that everybody hears about crimes like this now, which makes it seem worse.

Marie: My question is more generic - what should our attitude be towards children who aren't our own but for some reason we are concerned about their safety in public places? For instance in shopping centres I often see very young children who are seemingly unescorted. Their parents are usually off somewhere buying shoes or radios or whatever and the kids have wandered off on their own. Some are tiny tots and could easily be snatched. Should we intervene in these situations and approach the children (even if the parents appear eventually and are angry) or should we leave well enough alone? How far should our sense of social responsibility extend to other people's kids?

Inspector Tim Bonnett: This is a tricky one. I saw this many times when on patrol in town centres and got variable responses when I interfered!! The safest response for both parties is to watch the child until an adult returns without approaching.

If you try to take control of the child, the child may become scared, run away and make the situation worse. Alternatively, if a police officer or security guard is around, they may take over the watch from you so you can continue on your way having taken positive action.