Baby on board

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Flying with an infant or toddler is like going into battle: careful planning and the right timing will increase the chances of success, but you never know exactly what will happen. Here's how to minimise collateral damage

Know your enemy One of the biggest hurdles comes from other passengers rather than your own child. In her book High Tide in Tucson, author Barbara Kingsolver describes asking the woman next to her if she'd mind swapping seats with her husband (who was sitting across the aisle), so their tired daughter could stretch out across their laps. The woman snapped back: 'No, I have to have the window seat, just like you had to have that baby.' In other words, don't expect sympathy just because you know your journey's probably going to be harder than other people's.

Apart from such rudeness, you'll have to endure some degree of embarrassment when flying with baby. I recently flew from New York to the UK with my 16-month-old, who decided take-off was an opportune time to vomit down my leg and into the seat. Accept it, at some point on your journey, your child is likely to do something that is much less bearable to the other passengers than to its own mother.

So when your little angel turns into a screaming ball of fury, produces a foul-smelling nappy or - the favourite - spews down your neighbour's neck, stay relaxed, apologise and say something non-commital, like, 'He's too young to know better'. Remember that your baby is more likely to be calm if you are, too.

Recruiting allies
If you can, travel with a partner. It is much easier if you can take it in turns to eat, sleep and visit the loo. Take a trip solo with your little darling and you'll have to master tricks like pulling up your knickers and fastening your trousers, while cradling a sleeping bundle and preventing the strange man next to you from ogling your cleavage as you try to breastfeed a grizzly infant into submission.

If you are travelling alone, it's a good idea to get the stewards/esses on side. Try to have a brief chat before you take off, ask for anything you need politely, and don't be too demanding during their busiest times. If you're flying in America, you should know that American staff will not hold and handle your child in case of injury or litigation.

Get talking to fellow sympathetic-looking passengers. If you're lucky, someone will help you out, or at least offer a consoling smile or comment, which will make you feel 100 per cent better.

Before travel:

  • Get a passport for your baby - all individuals must now have their own
  • Call a selection of airlines to check their schedules, and try to book a flight that will coincide with your child's nap times. Also, look for off-peak flights (Mondays to Wednesdays), as these are quieter and have fewer business travellers, who are often the least sympathetic to infants. These flights are usually cheaper, too
  • Decide if you want to buy a seat for your child (you may be able to use your car seat, but you must first check the airline's policy on that), or carry him/her on your lap. Lap-held infants usually pay 10 per cent of normal ticket price, children with their own seat between 10 per cent and 60 per cent

  • Find out if baby or toddler meals are available, and pre-book these
  • Check baggage restrictions, especially to find out how many pieces of hand luggage you're allowed
  • Check age restrictions. As a rule of thumb, most doctors advise no air travel before 3 months old.

      • Essentials: what to take

      • Unless you're breastfeeding, you'll need sterile bottles, boiled cool water and formula (measure it out in advance and put it in small sealed bags). Planes don't have microwaves, so bring food that's okay cold

      • Nappies: have a couple more than you think you'll need, as not all airlines carry supplies

      • Wipes: keep these handy at all times

      • Change of clothes, in case of puking or nappy failure. Include a spare top for yourself, in case baby gets sick on you

      • A familiar toy or blanket, and a couple of new toys/books, which will keep you child's attention longer.

      Where to sit?

      • If you can, pre-book the bulkhead seats. You'll have more legroom and may get a carrycot placed on the table in front (not available on budget airlines). You'll have hold your child if there's turbulence, and may get a seat-belt extension that attaches to your own belt for landing and take-off. The main disadvantage with the bulkhead seats is the armrests don't fold down, so baby can't stretch out across two seats

      • If the plane's not full, and you're travelling with another adult, ask them to hold the third seat in a row of three, so baby can stretch out

      • Another option is to sit apart so that while one adult takes a shift, the other can have a proper rest

      • Often parents are boarded first, but bear in mind this will mean being trapped longer in a confined space. It might be easier to wait until the end, even if you lose first choice of the overhead luggage space.

      Health

      • The two biggest issues are dehydration and ear pain. Make sure baby drinks regularly, and don't feed them salty snacks. For ears, give them a drink (breast or bottle) during landing and take-off to help the pressure in their ears equalise. Sucking a dummy will help, but isn't as effective

      • Some recommend giving baby a sedative. But beware; this can have the opposite effect in some children, making them hyperactive. Test it out before you travel.

      Tips

      • Turn off the overhead vent, as airplane air is dry and recycled

      • Make sure your baby is drinking or suckling during landing and take-off

      • If possible, take a fold-up umbrella stroller, which most airlines will let you take up to the door of the plane and collect again at the door on landing

      • If using a car seat, consider taking one that will convert into a stroller/pushchair, to save on luggage

      • If baby fusses, walk him to the back of the plane, where the noise and vibrations might settle him

      • If your baby's still small, take your front carrier with you so that walking around is easier
      • Remember to keep yourself hydrated, too, especially if you're breastfeeding

      • Pack one small book for yourself, you won't have time for more

      • Don't expect it to be perfect. Just roll with the punches and you'll survive.