We asked 500 women if they had been bullied and over half said yes. It seems that almost anyone can become a victim. Here, some iVillagers recount their experiences of bullying as children and parents

Lasting effects
I was bullied in primary school and was too ashamed to tell my parents. They bullied me because I had speech problems - I still do at 39. I was called names and teased for attending learning support to help my English, Maths, and reading. Sometimes I wish I hadn't been born. I find it difficult meeting new people and trying new things due to my lack of confidence. I don't have many friends because of this.

Sticks and stones
I was bullied pretty much from the moment I started school. In first and middle school it was the usual name-calling stuff, but when I went to secondary school, things went dramatically downhill. I was verbally and physically bullied every day. I had things stolen and was hit with sticks. On one occasion my persecutors kept stabbing me with drawing pins throughout a lesson. Teachers ignored it at first, some always did, but others tried to help me. They were put on alert to watch that I wasn't attacked. I moved classes and got used to writing statements whenever something happened. At the time it shattered my confidence. I used to be a loud and quite wilful child, but after starting school I became less trusting and more introverted. I finally realised that through surviving what I went through I had become stronger, and after school I began to build my confidence back up. Though even now, I find it difficult to trust people, and petty insults still sting.

No protection
Since my daughter started high school last year she has been bullied. The school did not contact me or the other parents and has failed to protect her. Now we are being terrorised at home. I spoke to the Head Teacher, who decided to move her into another class when she goes back after the summer holidays. This won't help the situation, as the bullies are not being disciplined. Things have got so bad that the mother of one of the girls has threatened my daughter, and even had people throw eggs at our house. The police have even got involved. I feel that, had the school told the parents what their children have been doing, then they would realise what is going on and not just listen to their children's version of events. There is a big section in the school prospectus saying they are committed to tackling bullying, but they are truly out of their depth. The bullies are protected and the victims are let down and ignored, because it's the powerful kids who run the school, not the teachers.

Taking education home
I was badly bullied in secondary school. I was bullied verbally and physically by a lot of kids, and even a few of the teachers. It got so bad that in the second and third year I was probably off 'ill' as often as I was there. I went to another school about halfway through year nine, where I managed to stay for a couple of months (my mother had more to do with my staying than I did). I was miserable there, too; but it was more to do with the teaching and philosophy than the other students (although there was some bullying). Finally, I was taken out of school. I should be going into my 10th year in September, but I'm now home-educated, and it's the best thing that could have happened.

Parenting courses?
My middle child, who is quiet and sensitive, has been bullied physically and verbally throughout junior school. The school took tough action on each occasion, and I felt they were doing all they could to protect him. But the senior school in our catchment area has a 'well-earned reputation' for not dealing with bullying. They have no effective methods of disciplining the perpetrators and no methods of protecting victims, and I was naturally reluctant to send my son there. So, when my appeal failed to get him into a different senior school, I chose to home-educate. It was the best decision I could have made - my son has gone from being behind academically, to being ahead of his peers. Schools need to have more effective strategies for dealing with bullies, they must be allowed to exclude pupils that do not respond to other methods. The Government needs to back schools and not protect the bully by keeping them in mainstream schools. Parents of bullies could be 'requested' to attend courses - often children who are poorly disciplined at home will be unruly in school. Children need boundaries to teach them to behave.

Turning a blind eye
My teacher physically bullied me. I used to rest the two front legs of the table on my feet because it made the table tilt slightly, which was more comfortable for me to write. The teacher told me not to, but it had become an automatic response to put the table back on my feet. It was habit rather than disobedience. One day the teacher came over and sat on the desk, which was on my feet, smiling at me smugly as he did so. He stayed there all through the lesson. When I got home I showed my mother my bruised and swollen feet and told her what had happened. She told me not to lie, as no teacher would do that. My mother's reaction hurt me as much as the teacher did. However, the teacher was suspended and left two years later for bullying another child. That child's parents obviously believed her and took action. I would advise any parent to always investigate any accusation - it may be true. My school days were miserable.

Resorting to violence
My school was totally inept at 'resolving' a prolonged series of bullying incidents, which involved, among other delights, being forced to walk down the middle of a busy road on the way home every night (I was nine at the time). Eventually, they brought in the pitiful measure of granting me a five-minute head start on the bullies. At 3.10pm every day - while the rest of the class were winding up various activities, I was high-tailing it out of the school gates and praying that the two girls who pinched, punched and punitively stalked me throughout the day, wouldn't overtake me before I could reach my grandfather, who awaited my arrival at the end of the road. In the end, after almost a year of the most bewildering misery I've ever experienced, my mother finally called time on proceedings by frog-marching me to a confrontation with the two girls, where I beat the hell out of them. In case I failed, my mum was prepared to step in. I don't advocate this method by any means, but it did the trick.

Bullied as a child and adult
I have been bullied both at school and at work. At one point during my school life, I resorted to carrying a screwdriver in my sheepskin glove because I was so afraid I would be attacked. Then I told the teachers, and everything was dealt with - I was horrified, however, to be called into an office to discuss the matter with my bully present. Thankfully, it worked out and we actually became 'friends'.

The bullying at work had a more profound effect on me. It was in 1997 and some people in the office were jealous that I had got the job over them. The result was a whispering campaign, changing my work behind my back, making crude references about me in the magazine I worked for, and generally ignoring and undermining me. Once I realised what was going on, it had a terrible effect on me - I was determined to fight my corner, but it meant I had no energy left to cope with the rest of my life. I became withdrawn and couldn't socialise. Although there was a long history of bullying at the magazine, the management dealt with it incredibly badly. What happened still affects me to this day and I would still get distressed at the prospect of meeting my tormentors again. That said, I have rebuilt my confidence and colleagues are astounded to hear what I went through. People at work often think I am scary when they first meet me, but I think this is just a defence mechanism. I probably send off a 'don't mess with me vibe'. While most of those involved have apologised and admitted, I didn't deserve what happened. I now know the true meaning of hatred. The main person involved has a child now and I just hope the little boy never has to face the feelings of helplessness and despair my family and I did at his father's hands.

Useful organisations
Parentline Plus, a national helpline for parents. Tel: 0808 800 2222

Anti-Bullying Campaign, an advice line for parents and children. Tel: 0207 378 1446

If you've experienced bullying, share your story with other iVillagers.