Every moment, someone somewhere is considering taking his or her life. You may know that person. You may even be that person. Susan Quilliam advises

If you are feeling suicidal
Killing yourself can seem a very logical step. You feel depressed. Perhaps your relationship has finished. Maybe you've lost your job. Life just doesn't feel worth living.
No one understands, and it's impossible to tell anyone how you feel. What would they think of you? You hold back, bottle up your feelings and feel even worse.

Reasons to hold back from suicide

1. Hurting inside may make suicide seem justifiable, but it's always helpful to remember that there are ways to stop hurting. Even if you've tried to get help in the past and failed, there is a way out of the pain - you just haven't found it yet. If you stay alive and keep looking for the support you need, you will find it. There are many people out there who care. The fact is, the vast majority of people who feel suicidal only do so for a very short time. Then they get the help they need, recover, and begin to enjoy life again.

2. Killing yourself may seem justifiable to you, maybe because you feel you're hurting others by being alive, but suicide isn't the answer. If you die, the people you love will feel guilty for the rest of their lives. So if you feel tempted to kill yourself, try pulling back from contact with the people you think you're hurting until you've found resolution to your problem. It's tough, but it's a more loving way forward. However worried people feel about you, and hurt they are by the way you are now, they'll hurt a lot more if you die.

3. One other reason you may be thinking of killing yourself is to make a point to someone who's hurt you, but that's not rewarding at all. Yes, you'll make your point - but you won't be around to see the impact. If you want to tell them something, do it in a way that allows you to witness the impact you're making. No, don't harm that person. But go and see them. Tell them, to their face, how they've hurt you and what you really think of them. If you've got the courage to kill yourself, use that courage to confront your enemies and defeat them.

What to do now
If you're considering taking your life right now, do one important thing: Wait. Wait for twenty-four hours. Then another twenty-four hours. And try making this stretch to a week.

While you're waiting, tell someone what you're feeling. Talk to a friend. Talk to your family or ring the Samaritans - they are available twenty-four hours a day.
Samaritans England: 08457 909090;
Samaritans Ireland 1850 609090;
See www.suicide-helplines.org for international numbers.

As you wait and seek support, you'll notice something interesting. The edge will go from the pain. You'll realise that you don't hurt all the time - and that talking through your feelings gives you relief. Sure, the pain may come back -but you can keep it at bay by talking about it, even if for just for a few minutes at a time.

Once you start talking about your feelings, and other people start hearing you overcome the pain, you'll get a sense that there's a solution to your problems.

Remember, every problem - even yours - has a solution. You just haven't found that solution yet. But get support and help from other people, and you will find it. The pain will stop. And you can start living again.

How you can help if you know someone who's suicidal?

Possibly you're aware that someone you know is thinking of killing themselves. They've talked about it. They've confided in you. More likely, you're not aware. They're putting out the signals, but you haven't spotted them yet.

So what should you look for? Typically, a person is low, tearful, irritable. Or their eating patterns change, their sleep patterns are disturbed, they're taking less care of themselves, they're exhausted.

Another key could be their situation. There'll usually be some event that's triggered this withdrawal. Loss is a key one - losing a job, losing a partner, bereavement, a major disappointment or illness. If the person has a history of suicide attempts, then you should take it extra seriously.

What you will feel
The first thing you'll feel if you realise someone is suicidal is panic. It's natural - you want to get it right; you want to save them, you want to help them. You may also get confused. Are you seeing what you think you're seeing?

What should you do or not do? Here are some common beliefs about suicide - and the truth behind them.

1. If a person talks about suicide, they won't do it: Wrong. Talking about problems will make people less likely to kill themselves. But it doesn't mean they definitely won't attempt suicide.

2. If you mention suicide, you will put the idea in a person's head. Wrong again. Mentioning it will allow them to talk about it and so ease the possibility. But you won't do any harm at all by asking.

3. People who think about suicide just want attention. Wrong. They typically want to stop pain - their own or other people's. And typically they only think about suicide because they can't think of another way out. Offer them help and the desire to die will fade.

What you can do
The first thing to do if you suspect someone's suicidal is simply to listen.

Once they begin to talk, they will begin to feel understood. Once they feel understood, they'll regain a slight glimmer of hope that there may be a solution to their problem - and they'll feel less suicidal.

The second thing to do is to get help. Don't try to cope alone. Get the person talking to family, to friends, to their GP who can help with medication, to a counsellor who can help with emotional support. Get them to phone the Samaritans (or, phone the Samaritans yourself); they will ring the person and give them support.

The more people you get involved in supporting the suicidal person, the better. You must assume the person's problem to be very big, or they wouldn't feel so desperate. It will probably take a lot of resources to sort it out, but you should strive on.

PS: If you're helping a suicidal person, you should try and get help yourself to avoid becoming stressed. Suicide is a very straining issue. Do phone the Samaritans, if necessary, and allow them to support you.

Remember: Samaritans England: 08457 909090; Samaritans Ireland 1850 609090; Outside Britain, log on to www.suicide-helplines.org for your national numbers.