You and your sex drive Lifestyle changes
Desire for sex, sex drive, or libido - whatever you choose to call it - is one of the strongest urges experienced by humans
Why we get turned on
Sex drive varies considerably from person to person, and each individual can experience changes in their sex drive from time to time. Some people are driven by a powerful libido that fuels sexual activity at least once a day. For others, sex drive is low-key and is satisfied by sexual intimacy occurring less than once a month.
Sexologists describe two main types of sex drive:
There is a little of each drive in everyone. Men are said to reach their peak physical sex drive in their teens, while their psychological sex drive peaks after the age of 50 when testosterone levels fall. Women are said to reach their physical sexual peak in their thirties or forties while their psychological sex drive reaches its maximum, like men, in their fifties.
It is easy to take your sex drive for granted when it is working normally and helping you maintain a healthy, loving relationship. When it fails, however, it can have a devastating effect on your life. Low sex drive is common. Surveys suggest it affects 20 per cent of the population at any one time, including 30 per cent of middle-aged women, 60 per cent of stressed executives, over 70 per cent of postmenopausal women and 80 per cent of new mothers.
Top turn-offs
Loss of sex drive may be due to a variety of reasons, and the most common culprits are:
Everyone has a different sex drive, and this can vary significantly from person to person and from time to time. As long as you and your partner are both happy with the frequency at which you make love, you should consider your sex drive to be normal for you. However, if one partner develops a lower sex drive, while that of their partner remains unchanged, this can cause problems in a relationship; often leaving the partner with the lower libido feeling pressurised, and the other feeling neglected or unloved.
For women, a regular sex life seems to help an irregular menstrual cycle and reduce symptoms of PMS. Interestingly, research in the US suggests that women who have regular sex every week (except during menstruation) tend to be more fertile, with oestrogen levels about twice as high as those who are less sexually active. This seems to be especially important around the menopause, as women having regular sex experience less hot flushes and tend to age more slowly than those who do not have sex at least once a week.
Sexual activity is also good for keeping the pelvic floor muscles toned, as well as improving general fitness.
It is easy to take your sex drive for granted in helping to maintain a healthy, loving relationship. When it fails however, it can have a devastating effect on your life.
Help for low sex drive
It can be embarrassing to talk about low libido but there are several things you can try before plucking up the courage to seek medical help.
Several diet and lifestyle changes can help toincrease your sex drive - especially where this is due to stress, tiredness, lack of fitness or overwork:
Now you have got to the roots of what really turns you on, find out how to boost your sex drive in Part Two of the Sexual Health Workshop.
Dr Sarah Brewer is the author of Increase Your Sex Drive - the Amazing Power of Supplements, Herbs and Instant Aphrodisiacs (Thorsons £7.99).