Are you struggling to balance a job with childcare, sort out 'me' time alongside the kids' quality time, do the housework and change careers - all on the same day? iVillagers from the Parents' Problem Solver message board share what really works

Take time to sort out work and childcare issues: I worked full-time initially but childcare was a nightmare. I was a midwife and eventually I got my mum to help but that put a huge strain on our relationship. I went part-time which was great but I still had to do nights, weekends and bank holidays, including Christmas.

I struggled with it and was never truly happy and neither were my children. I now work as an unqualified teacher. I'm very happy, my children never need to be looked after by anyone else and we get to spend all the holidays together.

Make time for yourself : It's difficult to find but I try to have regular breaks. My 'me' time is very important. Otherwise I feel hemmed in.

Strive to find quality time with your kids: My children are aged 12 and 10 years and spend a lot of time in their rooms, on the Internet, or with their friends. I'm always trying to catch up with housework or chores. I don't think we spend enough quality time together and despite my good intentions the situation never improves.
inottoni

Prioritise quality time with your kids: As a working mum with two children aged one and five, I focus on them alone when I get home. It's baths, singing and stories until they are in bed - and then I collapse. We also make sure that the weekends are reserved for sacred family time, which means no work - only fun things.

Pay someone to clean the house: It's worth every penny, otherwise the choice is clean the loo or play with my kids.

Do the weekly shop online: It means I don't have to drag the kids around the supermarket. Instead we can go to the park and run around.

Accept the fact that 'me' time simply does not exist: It won't for the foreseeable future. It's all very hard - but I'm hoping it'll get easier.
charliesmummy

Make it a priority to work at your relationship with your ex: The benefits are worth it. My two older children spend half a week with their Dad. My ex's wife will look after my youngest child if I get really stuck on a working day.

Keep bedtimes consistent: I stagger bedtimes with the youngest going first as she has me most of the day. My two other children have half an hour with me each before they go to bed. That way everyone is tucked up by 8pm but they have all had at least half an hour quality time with Mum.

Keep a 'worry box': This is just a decorated cardboard box. We all write down our worries and pop them in the box. Two or three times a week we sit down together, take out all the worries and have a discussion. The important rules are that no one can laugh at anyone else's worries and no worry will ever warrant a 'telling off'.

Organise a chores rota: All the children (even the youngest who is three years old) do small jobs around the house, like feed the cats, for a reward. It could be money - 50p maximum per job. Half an hour on the computer is a favourite.

Learn to compromise at Christmas and on birthdays: My ex and I discuss what plans we have for the holidays and whether I have to work over the Christmas period, in particular. We work hard to find a compromise which suits everyone and generally find that holidays work out well.
serephinaangel

Do you have a knotty parenting problem that's making you tear our your hair? Why not share in the lively, solution-oriented discussions taking place on the Parents' Problem Solver message board.