Once you've done the prep work for this year's birthday bash, your fun ends. I'm going to break it to you slowly: your teen doesn't want you there - you're embarrassing, go away!

Even though you may not be on the guest list for the big bash, it's important that you keep an eye on all party activities. But these great ideas will help you assure a safe and fun event for all party guests

Themes
When it comes to teens, no theme is the best theme. Teens like to do their own thing, preferably with little parental interference. Although your teenager might prefer to see less of you at the actual party, you can use party planning as a way to share in the festive occasion. You can plan, clean and cook for the party, but that's where your part ends.

Your teenager might not want to see you at the party, but you have a responsibility to supervise the group. This includes establishing strict rules ahead of time, which must be adhered to by your teenager and guests. Here are some tips for planning a great birthday party and assuring its success by monitoring it in a low-key fashion.

Invitations
Teenagers may be perfectly content calling friends on the phone and inviting them to the party. They may even view invitations as childish. However, invitations can be helpful for one important reason: they discourage uninvited guests and prevent gatecrashers. Make sure that your teenager understands that without an invitation, people will be turned away at the door. Print on the invitation, 'You must have an invitation to attend' and word will travel fast.

Invitations needn't be childish. You can hire someone to write the invitations or address the envelopes in calligraphy. Remember, an invitation sets the tone for the party. Keep it adult and you will attract adult behaviour.

Activities and games
Most teenagers prefer not to have games at their party. Talking, eating and listening to music are this age group's favourite activities. Sit down with your daughter or son and select party CDs. You could also provide board games that teens can turn to if they need to break the ice with new guests.

You may also want to set ground rules for activities. For example, insist that lights remain on during the party, and note that certain locations in the house are out of bounds.

Greet guests at the door to remind them that supervision is nearby. This may help discourage unwanted activities. Prepare your teenager for the fact that anyone who breaks the rules will be asked to leave immediately. And if you suspect that a guest has been drinking or using drugs before the party, you should not admit him or her.

Food
Teenagers can eat a great deal, so plan to serve lots of food. Also, provide non-alcoholic drinks. You may want to serve them in cans instead of from a punch bowl, to which alcohol can easily be added.

Here are some tips for successful food planning:

Avoid messy foods Teenagers won't eat anything that they might end up wearing. Ditto on any food that gets stuck between the teeth, such as dips containing bits of spinach. If you want to make your teens happy, hang a mirror by the buffet table for quick appearance checks!

Wraps Put the ingredients on a wrap (such as cheese, prawns, ham, salad and so on) roll it up, slice it, pile the rolls on a platter and serve.

Mexican treats Make a large plate of nachos, suggests 'Jennifer', an iVillage community member. First, cook one pound of minced beef with a small onion and a green pepper. Add taco seasoning, a couple of tablespoons of salsa and three tablespoons of tomato ketchup. Mix well. Place a lot of tortilla chips on a plate. Using a microwave, melt grated cheese on top and sprinkle with the meat mixture. Add lettuce, sour cream and guacamole and serve.

Provide plenty of bowls filled with snacks Keep bowls well supplied with crisps, peanuts, and pretzels. Keep amounts small so that you have to refill the bowls often - a perfect, non-intrusive way to monitor party guests.

Gifts
Teenagers can't wait to grow up. Bear this in mind when buying them gifts, and you won't go wrong. Parents should, however, give family gifts prior to the party. Here are some ideas for appropriate presents for a teenager:

Clothes Go on a birthday shopping trip together. Allow your teenager to buy what interests him or her, without judgment from you!

Tickets Get two tickets for your teenager and a guest to attend a popular sporting event, concert or play.

Dinner out Take your teenager out to a special dinner. Make it an event by allowing your teenager to choose the venue.