Find out how to ask for more responsibility, stake out your turf and get ahead in the office. From the book Tough Talk Made Easy by Jenni Trent Hughes. Published by Harper Collins priced £9.99

You've been slogging away in the office and no matter how hard you try you never seem to make any progress. Your ideas are routinely ignored, you're constantly overlooked for promotion and even the trainee who started last month seems to be closer to the boss than you.

The result of all this negativity is that you don't want to get up in the morning to go to work and most of your day is spent watching the clock to see if its time to go home. That is, of course, when you're not on the Internet. You're starting to wonder if it's really worth it.

Chances are that working is a necessity not a hobby, and if you're reading this you're clued up enough to know that you can change your circumstances if you really want to. So how did you end up in this position? There could be lots of reasons. It's the wrong job, it's the wrong company for you or you started off on the wrong foot and have never caught up. It could be anything, but what's important is what you do about it now. Life is too short. If you're doing something on a daily basis that isn't working for you then do something about changing it.

How to prepare

First you need to do a quick MOT to be sure that you're in the right place; then you can have the Difficult Conversation that will make it the right time for you, as well.

• Step one: Identify who the person is in the organisation that you really need to talk to. Do not, I repeat not, do what most people do which is start a whinging campaign. If you've never been in a managerial position you won't know this, so I'll share a secret with you. Part of being a good manager is knowing how to spot the malcontents. And don't be silly enough to think: 'Oh he's a rubbish manager, he won't have a clue about how I'm really feeling'. Even the most rubbish of managers can have radar for that sort of thing. 'Loose lips sink ships' and more people have lost their jobs by mouthing off to the wrong people.

• Step two: If you really feel the need to discuss it with someone be sure to discuss it with someone who is not a colleague. They'll be more objective, and it's safer: 'Listen Dad, I'm going through a bit of a tough time at work and need to bounce some ideas around. Do you have a moment?'

• Step three: Treat this conversation as a project that needs to be planned. This is relevant whether you work in a kebab shop or a brokerage firm. Sit down and think through what you would like to see change in your working situation. Don't be afraid to put pen to paper, not necessarily to show to the person you're going to talk to (though if you're shy it might help to do that) but to clarify your thoughts. List what you would like to see different and alongside say how you think those changes could best be put to play.

• Step four: Think about what you have to offer the company and if there are any faults about your performance. Then note ways in which you plan to correct the situation: 'I know my punctuality has been poor in the past, but I've now bought a pony and I'll be riding to work everyday...'

• Step five: Approach them and schedule a time to talk. Approach them with all the information to hand that you've compiled in steps 1-4 : 'Greg, thanks for taking the time to listen to me today. As you know I really like working here, but I can't help but think that I have even more to offer you and the company. I've been looking around and I've done some thinking on ways I could possibly contribute more and this is what I propose...'

  This is one of the conversations where tone (authoritative not whinging) and body language (confident and positive, not negative and aggressive) are crucial.

• Step six: Ask the person you have approached if there is anything the company would like from you that they feel they are not currently getting: 'Are there any expectations you have of me that I'm not currently fulfilling?'

• Step seven: Ask the person you are speaking to how they see your future with the company unfolding. Be prepared that you might not like the answer, but also be prepared to present your own vision: 'How do you see my job developing over the next year?' Be aware of their body language and whether or not they are being receptive to what you're saying. Keep the conversation short, upbeat and be sure to thank them at the end: 'Thanks for taking the time to listen to my thoughts and I am really looking forward, if you agree, to implementing some of these ideas for all our benefit'.

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