Starting school is a great big adventure for your child - and for you - but the first term may present a few challenges for both of you

Your child is about to acquire a whole new set of skills, from listening effectively to working as part of a large group and making new friends, and you can help her to feel less daunted with a bit of forward planning and lot of empathy

How to allay her fears
She's likely to have a few worries in the run-up to starting school, even if she can't articulate them: they might include how she will find her classroom; how she'll get to know the daily routine; what she'll do when she needs the toilet; how she'll know where to go for lunch - and so on.

It will help enormously if you can visit her school and classroom in advance of her joining - most schools do organise these visits, but they can be a long way ahead. If she seems anxious towards her starting date, sit down together quietly and go through any questions she might have. Ask her if she's worried about each or any of the aspects listed above, and let her know that the school staff are always very helpful to new joiners and will be expecting them to ask lots of questions and make mistakes at first. She might be reluctant to ask her teacher for help in front of the rest of the class - many children of this age are very shy and don't like to draw attention to themselves. Reassure her that her teacher will be waiting for children to approach her and will enjoy helping.

Building friendships
Once your child has made friends with one or two of her classmates, she'll probably become positively enthusiastic about going to school. You can help to forge these early friendships by chatting to the parents of kids she's mentioned, and organising some after-school get-togethers. You'll probably want to accompany her to friends' houses at first - so that she doesn't feel intimidated and so that you can check out what goes on! Similarly, invite her little friends' mum or dad back to yours when it's your turn to entertain.

If your child doesn't seem to be making any friends after the first month, make an appointment to talk to her teacher: you'll probably find that she's socialising well enough but is still a little shy, in which case her teacher will be able to identify the kind of children who would get on well with her, and encourage friendships with one or two.

Five top ways to support your child

1. Make sure your child is organised before you take her to school for the first time: help her practise putting her uniform on and off - including school shoes - especially if she usually relies on you to help her to dress; show her how to open and close her lunchbox, bookbag and PE bag; remind her of her teacher's name.
2. If she had a place in the school's nursery, find out in advance which other children will be in her new class, and try to build up one or two friendships.
3. Practise what she could say in different classroom situations, including if she feels unwell: you play the role of her teacher and get her to suggest responses to your questions, then fine-tune them so that she is making herself understood.
4. As the term goes on, continue to support your child by checking her bookbag daily for school communications and homework. Remember, she's still very young and may forget what's in there!
5. Allow your child to regress: going to 'big school' is a huge responsibility - especially as some children are only four when they start. At home, she may very well either start having 'toddler' tantrums again or want to be babied. This is very normal, so just allow it to happen and respond sympathetically. If you tell her to grow up or say 'you're a big girl now', she'll be under unnecessary extra pressure. This phase will pass as she gets into her stride.

Mums' wise words
'If show-and-share sessions are part of your child's routine, find out which day they're held on and keep reminding her about them. Anna was reluctant to take part at first, but then we went to a safari park and she couldn't wait to show off her collection of zoo animals!'
Aimee Grimshaw, 33, from Bolton, and mum to Anna, four

'I took Sam on the journey to school a few times in the run-up to starting. It seemed to help that the route felt familiar on his first day.'
Gina Wallace, 29, from St Austell, and mum to Sam, five

'Organise a few school-day-length swaps with friends so your child gets an idea of how long she'll be away from you.'
Jenna Patel, 31, from south London, and mum to Raj, four

'Brief your friends, family and older kids to drop anecdotes about starting school into conversation. My best friend happened to say: 'I was really worried on my first day at school, but once I got there it was really good fun', which Saskia found very reassuring.'
Elise Durrant, 28, from Amersham, and mum to Saskia, five