Parenting experts, Coaching Mums won't tell you how to be a Domestic Goddess at Christmas, nor will they instruct you how to 'get through' Christmas without tears. Try these tips to help you really enjoy yourself with your family over the festive season
Christmas is (should be) a time of new hope and happiness, so Coaching Mums' Christmas tips will help you to discover what works best for you. They will lighten your mood and help you thrive throughout Christmas, not just survive!
1. Make your alternative Christmas List.
What do you love about Christmas and what do you hate about it? Take a piece of paper, fold it in half and label the two columns at the top : 'love Christmas' and 'hate Christmas'. Write all the words that come to you when you think about Christmas. You might have one word in both columns - family is one that is commonly classed in both the love and hate categories!
Choose one of the things that you hate, but that you can control. Now decide what you will do to minimise it or even eliminate that dislike for you. Now take steps to put your elimination actions into place.
2. Laugh!
Regain your sense of humour about the things that niggle you about Christmas. Laugh at it all. Watch something like Grumpy Old Women at Christmas. You will hear some fine 50+ something women moaning about the things they hate about Christmas, and you'll be laughing your socks off and putting it all into perspective.
3. Walk in their shoes.
Is your mother in law driving you mad? Or your father? Or your kids? Or all of them? Take a step back and seek to understand things in their world. Understanding other's behaviour will not only help you to cope with the behaviour more easily, when people feel understood and heard, behaviours can magically improve. Try it.
4. Time out!
If you really can't fit into their shoes, take 10 minutes and go for a walk. Let the fresh air calm you down and clear your mind. Look at a tree, at a bird, at the sky?think about how small we are in this vast universe and put it into perspective.
5. Get moving!
Get some fresh air in any case. Go for a walk - exercise helps release those feel-good endorphins, it 'clears' your head, helps digest all that stodgy food and is the obvious antidote for 'cabin fever' and Season Affective Disorder (SAD). If you can get the whole family out on Christmas day, so much the better. Even if it's pouring with rain, force yourself outside. Just think how great and how virtuous you'll feel when you are back inside - and you will appreciate the warm house much more!
6. Christmas values.
Take a moment to think about what Christmas means for you and what messages you want to give to your children. What do you want them to understand about Christmas? What do you want them to learn from Christmas? Take a moment to think about your family values and how you can ensure those values can be practically expressed over the Christmas period. It might mean donating toys to children in need, enjoying a pantomime as a family, volunteering some of your time for a charity, or simply smiling at everyone who catches your eye while you are Christmas shopping.
7. Be selfish in order to be selfless!
It's a truth universally acknowledged (to borrow Jane Austen's words) that women make Christmas happen. But that comes at a cost.
Set aside some quality time for you over the festive season. Mums are notoriously bad at thinking about themselves. What special 'time treat' would you like to look forward to over Christmas? It might be a long hot soak in the bath on Christmas eve, an evening out with your partner one evening, half an hour with your feet up, a good book and a mug of mulled wine. Let your partner or family know what you really want and ask them to help you make it happen.
8. Act like a big kid.
Let go of your adult inhibitions and re-learn simple, childish pleasures.
Recapture the excitement of Christmas for yourself - look in wonder at the Christmas tree and its sparkly lights, go and feel all the Christmas presents and try to guess what's inside, go and visit Santa in his grotto (kids are always good accessories for this). If it snows, grab a sledge and race your kids down a hill or build a snowman. Have some fun!
9. Live in the present.
At no other time is this a more valuable lesson. Enjoy each precious moment of Christmas with your children because you will never have that moment again. When you see your children's eyes light up, whatever age your kids are, be there in that moment, not thinking 'what if there aren't enough potatoes?'. Remember, there is no such thing as past or future - the present is all we have.
10. Be thankful.
Even if you've had a few minor confrontations with the family, or the turkey was dry and overdone, take a moment to give thanks for at least 10 things each day over the festive season. Look for the little things (which you will notice because you've been living in the present). If you are reading this, you probably have many blessings to be thankful for: Start noticing them.
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Is your definition of balance just a balancing act? Are you juggling lots of balls and dropping them frequently? Perhaps being a working mum isn't quite working? Coaching Mums specialises in helping mums like you. We will help you to find your version of balance and achieve fulfilment and success. We work with bright, sassy mums who are mums amongst other things in life. We believe that coaching should create tangible results in every aspect of your life, and we offer results-oriented programmes to suit any budget. Take your first step, visit www.coachingmums.com and sign up for our free monthly ezine, Inspire, packed with positive and do-able tips to make your life better.