| Patio heaters: the eco-enemy in your back garden
Once they were luxurious, seemingly harmless, novelties. Now there are over a million of them - mushrooming in gardens across the land belching out greenhouse gasses. They're eco-enemy number one. They are, of course, patio heaters Like all bits of domestic kit, the patio heater started off as an expensive extra and ended up a cheap essential. Now they're on sale in supermarkets. And we're talking Lidl, not Waitrose. They are available in the aisles ready-assembled or flat-pack from as little as £39.99. Mini table-top versions cost even less. All you need to add is flammable gas and guests. Or flammable guests. Now no garden is complete without one of these thermal totem poles. We cluster around them in small knots. Like moths, we are drawn to them whatever the weather. Those who get too close go ever so slightly crispy on one side. Those left outside what manufacturers call the 'heat radius' simply freeze. There is no happy medium. Apart from the fry-or-freeze factor there is the issue of fuel. This form of central heating for the outdoor room is far from efficient. A standard 13kg canister burns for just 12 hours. Used in an indoor gas fire it lasts 10 times longer. And it's another thing to manage. You must first find someone to deliver those giant bottles of gas - there's no way you can drag one home. Then only those who have worked behind a bar can actually change the bottle. No sooner is this palaver over than it's time to change it again. An empty patio heater has all the unrealised promise of a Soda Stream. It's six-foot of brushed-steel frustration. The ozone layer cannot be thanking us for this fossil-fuel fest. A tiny hole opens directly over every garden with one of these shiny, gas-guzzling monsters. Summer is slowly being replaced by 'Patio Heater Season' which stretches from late spring to early autumn. We buy them to take the chill off global warming and just make it worse. Patio heaters are the 4X4 of the garden. Soaring sales are turning the normally peaceful green lobby an angry shade of red. 'It is hard to imagine a device that inflicts more gratuitous damage on the environment,' said Friends of the Earth director Tony Juniper last year after Elliot Morley, the environment minister, branded patio heaters a 'real luxury', adding that 'at a time when we're struggling to combat climate change there has to be a question as to whether we really need things that heat up the outdoors'. Patio heaters are expensive, inefficient and ugly. And potentially dangerous. As a tall person, I am terrified to stand near one in case I accidentally barbecue my head. And if they're as stable as everyone claims why are the hoods covering the flickering flames always so battered and dented? It's a Casualty episode waiting to happen. Of course, some newer models are more efficient. Some as much as 30 per cent. Which means they're still 70 per cent inefficient. If you have sufficient space, understanding neighbours and a burning need to burn something, just go for a real fire. The Brazier 600 fire pit would warm a small patio and costs just £54.99 from www.rawgarden.co.uk. If you have children or pets go for the slightly safer model on www.gonegardening.co.uk. At £84.99 it comes complete with a spark guard, ash collector and a hinged grill so you can cook on it too. Burning wood is no better than burning gas - unless you use 'good wood'. If you have no trees to scavenge from buy BioRegional firewood. BioRegional firewood comes from hardwoods rather than softwoods. Hardwoods smoke less, give more heat, burn longer and are easier to light. Every twig is Forest Stewardship Council certified so you know it's not from illegal, unregulated forests and it travels just a few short miles to your garden. Of course, you could always throw on a cardigan and get on with it. Only fair-weather friends will refuse to shiver into the evening with you. To find the location of your nearest local BioRegional Firewood stockist ring 020 8404 2300 or visit www.bioregional.com.
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