Your SQ will give you an idea of how well you communicate your sexual needs, listen to and understand the needs of a partner, and generally how positive or negative an attitude you have towards sex and your sexual relationship.

Read each question or statement carefully. Print this page and circle the answer 'Yes' or 'No' for each question or statement. If for some of them you believe you'd sometimes answer 'Yes' and sometimes answer 'No' then choose the option you'd select most of the time.

1. You wouldn't fake an orgasm.
   Yes or No
2. You would discuss sexual issues.
   Yes or No
3. You suggest new sexual techniques.
   Yes or No
4. You think a lover has faked orgasm with you.
   Yes or No
5. You feel comfortable masturbating in private.
   Yes or No
6. It wouldn't bother you if a lover masturbated.
   Yes or No
7. If not in the mood for sex, you'd be honest with your lover.
   Yes or No
8. You would be honest about difficult feelings with a lover.
   Yes or No
9. You would like to be told if you were doing something 'wrong' in bed.
   Yes or No
10. You accept that people have different levels of sex drive.
    Yes or No
11. You're open to your lover's suggestions in bed.
    Yes or No
12. You accept your body, warts and all.
    Yes or No
13. You're happy to share fantasies with a lover.
    Yes or No
14. You're prepared to find a compromise over sexual differences.
    Yes or No
15. You like to vary the positions you use in bed.
    Yes or No
16. You try to make your lover feel good about themselves.
    Yes or No
17. You expect to practice safe sex and would always suggest it.
    Yes or No
18. You won't be offended if your lover said 'No' to specific sexual requests.
    Yes or No
19. Romance is important to lovemaking.
    Yes or No
20. There's a place for things like 'quickies' in a sex life.
    Yes or No
21. You would be honest if experiencing something like premature ejaculation.
    Yes or No
22. You wouldn't take it personally if your partner experienced, for example, premature ejaculation.
    Yes or No
23. You would tell your partner if they were being too rough or too gentle.
    Yes or No
24. Being a good lover has nothing to do with, for example, how many times you've had sex.
    Yes or No
25. Sex doesn't make you feel, for example, uncomfortable, 'dirty', or guilty.
    Yes or No

Go to Page 2 to see how you fared...

20-25 'Yes' answers = High SQ

You understand that sex and sexual relationships are complicated things that need openness, honesty and sensitivity to nurture and enjoy them. Look closely at the few 'No' answers you have. Can you put your essentially positive attitude and sound understanding about sexual relationships to good work over these few issues? Apply any relevant suggestions from chapter one (Sensational Solutions) of Dr Pam Spurr's book, Sensational Sex and from Sensational Sex Talk (chapter four), to these areas.

12-19 'Yes' answers = Medium SQ

You probably have a good understanding that sex and sexual relationships are complex. However, you let some inhibitions or a lack of confidence prevent you from developing a more positive attitude to them. Take each question/statement that you answered 'No' to one at a time, and think through how you can make these areas more positive. As above, use relevant advice from the passages in Sensational Solutions in chapter one and Sensational Sex Talk in chapter four to help you develop a higher SQ.

1-11 Yes answers = Low SQ

You undoubtedly have some issues with self-confidence and communication that hold you back from truly enjoying sex and sexual relationships. Don't feel overwhelmed by the number of 'No' answers you selected. Instead, start building your confidence generally, so your relationships improve overall. Take small steps to start asking for what you'd like from your sexual partner. At the same time, let them know you'd like them to be honest with what they'd like in bed. Do this in a loving and positive way, and ask for love and reassurance from them. Agree that if you feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable with anything, you'll let them know immediately and you'll stop any sexual behaviour and replace it with loving affection until you're ready to move on. Take the SQ Quiz again in three months' time.

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