Like books, men fall into various categories, from the shy guy to the joker. Take a look at these personality profiles, and next time you are out and about, see if you can spot them

The confident man If only they could all be a 'confident man' - a guy with enough self belief that he'll date in a fairly straightforward way. A man with natural confidence won't play games with you, won't try and undermine you, and is generally looking for a positive experience when dating. But don't take the positive vibe he gives out as a guarantee that he's looking for a relationship or looking for one with you. And a confident man may still ultimately not be able to face being straight with you if he doesn't want to see you any longer. Don't be surprised if he uses the 'you're too good for me' way of finishing. This means he is actually not that bowled over by you.

Next: Learn to read his body language

Reading His Body Language

The chemistry between two people is fascinating. I'm sure you've been surprised at times when looking at a couple and thinking, 'How on earth did they get together? They look so ill-suited!' This is because personal chemistry is determined by many factors and is primarily guided by non-verbal communication, or body-language signals.

Non-verbal communication accounts for about 93 per cent of all communication, and is terribly important in the communication between two potential partners.

Signs of interest

• He gives you the 'triple take' - glances once, glances twice, and then either holds your eye contact or smiles
• He pulls his posture up fairly confidently
• He might loop his fingers into his pockets or belt loop in a subconscious gesture to guide your eye line down toward his 'masculinity'
• He uses the male 'saunter' - that masculine walk (slight swagger) if he's walking towards you
• Once chatting, he closes your personal spaces by 'bridging' between you (e.g. touching your forearm as he speaks)
• He uses the 'slide' where he moves his fingers up and down his glass
• He uses the 'screen' when he moves in slightly nearer and screens you off from other potential male competitors with his upper body. At this point he stops flicking his eyes around the room in a sub-conscious search for other attractive women

Signs that he's not interested

• When engaged in conversation he continually looks around, especially every time the door opens as someone new enters the bar. This means he's only partly interested in you and is keeping his options open
• He asks you a question and when you start to answer, his gaze drifts off, or he interrupts your answer with something else
• When seated, his feet and legs point away from you, even if his upper body is twisted towards you - a subconscious signal that he's looking for a way out of the situation
• He appears easily distracted during a conversation. Trust your intuition, he's not really in to the conversation!
• He half-heartedly asks for your phone number with no enthusiasm or real interest. Again, rely on your intuition - it's there for good reason.

Next: discover the difference between what he says, and what he means

What he says and what he means

Once you're getting to know a man a little better you can start gauging his interest and intentions by what he says and work out what he really means. Sometimes with good intentions (and sometimes with not-so-good intentions) men will say something when they mean something else. They think it's easier on both of you to put things a certain way, or they want to spare your feelings or their own embarrassment.

For example:

• He says he'll 'call you soon'. Actually he means he's not particularly interested or he'd specify a window of time, like he'll 'call you in the next day or two' or even 'tomorrow'
• He explains that he's not been in touch because he's been 'very busy'. This means that, at this point, you don't factor very high on his list of important things. We're all busy nowadays but if you're really interested you'll text or e-mail someone
• He says he can't meet up with you because he's got 'so much on'. Again, if someone's keen they'll make room in their diary even to share a glass of wine or cup of coffee

On the positive side: If he texts you within two or three days of meeting you and makes a date, this is a positive sign. Even when a man gives clear signals of interest, too many women doubt every little action or every little word in a text. Keep reminding yourself that, to a man, sending a straightforward text, making a straightforward date, and getting on with it is the goal. He is not agonising over how many kisses to put on the end of his text message!

Actions speak louder than words The most important rule when it comes to what he says and what he means is this: does what he says match his behaviour? For example, does he ring you when he says he will? Is he on time when he sets a certain time? Does he show up with his friends when he tells you he's coming on his own?

Women are very good at picking up the discrepancy between what he says and what he does but don't listen to their intuition when it picks up these signals. Where do you think the saying 'actions speak louder than words' comes from? It comes from the wisdom that what someone does really is the most important thing.

Next: Find out how a man really thinks

Do you think men only have one thing on their minds? Well, in many ways that's true, but it's not necessarily what you'd think

Men seem more complicated because we often don't give them credit for pondering issues we believe only us women think through. For example, we assume they don't give much thought to what they want in a long-term relationship, or what they think about the women they meet, or monitoring whether they're falling in love or just having a fling. But they do think about these things, it's just that 'male thinking' tends to be more straightforward. Where women consider their relationships through the 'A-to-Z of possibilities,' men are more goal-directed and use a more direct 'A-to-B' approach.

'A-to-B' approach When a man spots a woman he is very quickly aware of whether he is attracted to her or not, without weighing up a huge number of factors that a woman might think about when she clocks a man in a bar.

A woman might look at his friends and analyse them. She might also be more aware of his clothing and make judgments about him based on this. She might consider things like, 'Do I have enough time to chat and show interest in this man who looks attractive?' We think through a million thoughts at that initial phase of attraction. A man, on the other hand, is less likely to over-analyse or 'dress up' his initial attraction or interest.

Goal-directed thinking Another example of 'male thinking' that is critical to initial attraction and the potential to get something going is that, believe it or not, by far the majority of men will not be interested in game playing. Yes, they'll respond well to flirting and will flirt back. Yes, they're attracted to interesting and confident women. However, on the whole they'd like to keep things goal-directed and straightforward.

This means that when you meet a man in a bar, and he asks you if you would like to meet up again, all he really wants is a straightforward answer, yes or no. A man doesn't want awkward moments of indecision or what he perceives to be indecision. A man wants a clear and definite signal that you are, or are not, interested. He'll have reached his 'goal' if you say yes or no to meeting up. Unlike many of us ladies, he is not thinking ahead to whether or not he wants to have babies with you!

To summarise 'male thinking' Men are thoughtful, intelligent creatures but they don't tend to analyse situations in great depth, assess more than their immediate goal, or look too far into the future.

 Week 2 Love Fitness Challenges

Get to grips with this week's love challenges and you'll take positive steps towards being able to understand and relate to men.

Move on to week three of the Man Magnet challenge: Action Woman Week! or return to the Be a Man Magnet homepage