Welcome to week 4 of the Be a Man Magnet Challenge
By now you've had a taste of something new and you should understand a little bit more about yourself. This is a process we all need to go through to improve our love game and strengthen our relationships. You've observed others (particularly men) and now have a better understanding of what makes them tick.
In this final week of the challenge you will learn how life and love are dynamic. You are always changing, even if you don't realise it, and those you meet are constantly changing too. This is a fantastic opportunity for you to take all that you've learned - and all that you are going to learn this week - and start using your new-found knowledge as a part of an ongoing process to enhance your life for ever, and find love too.
The next few steps:
Hang on to your new approach
It's often the case when we're learning about ourselves that we take a step forward and then a couple of steps back. It's quite natural to suddenly feel a little more confident around men, decide to chat one up, find he's not interested and to feel your new-found confidence start to crumble. How can you stop this happening? Here are a couple of tips:
- From now on when you experience a little setback, remind yourself that previously you might never have even put yourself in this situation. That's a huge positive! Keep telling yourself you're in new and different situations and that there are bound to be some that are more daunting than others.
- Think positive. Force yourself to think of the good that's come out of the setback or knock back. For example, the man you chatted up at the salsa class you decided to join may not have fancied you back, but you're sure enjoying learning how to dance! There's a silver lining to every cloud if you're prepared to look for it.
Regular personal and love MOTs
Forward plan in your diary every two months to take an hour out for evaluating how your life is going generally and how your attempts to find a man are going. Put these dates in now and stick to them. Ask yourself these important questions:
- Which area of your life are you happiest with?
- Which area are you least happy with?
- How much are you doing to get out there and meet new men?
- If you've had any dates, have they been happy or unhappy experiences, and why?
Spoil yourself
To keep yourself feeling good and worthy of a wonderful relationship, be nice to yourself.
- Treat yourself occasionally to some new make-up. Most beauty counters in the big department stores are happy to give you a free new look.
- Send yourself a text reminding yourself how wonderful you are! You don't have to wait for someone else to tell you this.
- Learn to say 'No' to something you don't really want to do and instead relax in a sudsy bath with some sensual aromatherapy oils.
Continue to challenge yourself in small ways
Just because you're making strides in opening up how you feel, where you go and who you meet, be careful not to become complacent. Dream up a little challenge every week or two to keep you out of that comfort zone. For example, take yourself out for dinner or lunch on your own to continue developing your self-reliance.
Where's the love of your life hanging out?
Picking and choosing dating venues is worth consideration. By now you realise that looking for love should be fun and enjoyable as well as taking you to new places emotionally. It's time to think about where you go to meet people who may share your interests. Here are some issues to consider:
- While keeping your mind open about the men you meet, if you know you go for quieter, thoughtful men, you're unlikely to find them in a nightclub. Nightclubs are great places to have fun but are not particularly good for finding love. Putting just a little thought into the venues you select will save you time and energy.
- It's the same for singles events. Think about what you want out of an event. Some are great just for the experience, like speed dating. You have to think on your feet and put your best foot forward to have a positive experience. However, if you relied completely on speed dating events (and there are plenty to choose from) this would stop you from meeting people in more natural settings. Some dating events can be incredibly contrived and can feel like a meat market.
- Once you've experienced various single events, try some night classes. You'll probably have a good idea of the things you thrive at. Do more of those and occasionally take yourself to an event that's a little different - a climbing wall, an organised debate, a workshop - and you'll have a good balance.
- Practice makes perfect. The more you go out, the better you'll get at chatting with men and flirting with them. Displaying good body-language and flirt signals should mean that men ask you out, but equally you should be prepared to do the asking. Most men love it when women take the lead!
What are friends and family for?
Research has shown that you're most likely to meet a long-term partner through an introduction from a mutual friend or family member. Some also say that you are more likely to meet 'Mr Right' at your place of work. Keep your eyes open at work (while knowing their policy about relationships and sticking to it) and don't be shy about letting your friends and family know you're up for dating.
Why they may not introduce singles
Sometimes the people who care about you feel embarrassed about suggesting that you may not be happy on your own. They don't want to imply that they think you're a lonely single. They also might be concerned that they make an introduction that doesn't work out, and other such little worries. If you let friends and family know you're more than happy for them to introduce you to suitable men, also tell them that you're looking for fun and friendship rather than love as that way you'll take the pressure off them. And you'll get those introductions!
Have a go at week four's Love Fitness Challenges
Week 4 Love Fitness Challenges
Have a fabulous time looking for love and enjoying your life as a single woman or with a new man in it!
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