| Feel the bikini fear and do it anyway
You're so excited, the tickets are booked, you've been daydreaming of lazing on the beach all winter, yet suddenly reality bites and the dream turns into a nightmare. It's just dawned on you that you're going to be wearing a bikini! In public! In broad daylight! Fear of flying, snakes or even public speaking is nothing compared to this one. Obsessing about putting the body not-so-beautiful on public display is a deeply ingrained terror for women the world over. This summer, you have a choice. You can terrorise yourself with visions of how bad you'll look and feel, rating yourself against an imaginary and unachievable standard set by airbrushed models, or you can get real and actually learn how to enjoy being on the beach in the dreaded two-piece. Here's a four-point plan for cranking up your confidence and making this year's holiday the most bikini fabulous one you've ever had. Style beats shape any day It's a self-esteem issue, not a weight or body shape problem. Your attractiveness isn't just about the size of your thighs, it's about your attitude and how comfortable you are with yourself. If you relax and remember that your beauty is more about how you present yourself than the shape of your body, you're on your way to loving who you are, whatever you happen to be wearing. Love your body Practice being relaxed in your own skin by banning negativity, only allowing yourself to think and say good things about the way your body looks. If you normally hide away in a corner in the changing rooms at the gym, be a bit bolder and challenge yourself to be less self-conscious about being naked in front of others. Have more massages and do aerobics or yoga classes that will help you to focus your attention on how good your body feels. For an extra boost, try the Loving Your Body guided meditation in Debbie Ford's The Best Year Of Your Life Kit or take advantage of the positive subliminal messages in the I Love My Body CD by www.innertalk.co.uk. Forget who's watching If it's male attention you're worried about, confidence comes up as the sexiest characteristic in any male survey of female attraction every time. When did you last hear a man say he fell in love with his partner because she wore a high-fashion bikini and weighed less than his weekly shopping? Fake it till you make it When you feel good, you look good. Distract attention from the areas you're self-conscious about by adding eye-catching accessories, like jewellery or a flower in your hair to accentuate the parts of your body that you love. Remember, it's not about how little you wear, it's about how well you wear it. As the professional beach volleyball champion Gabrielle Reece, who has to wear a bikini to compete, puts it, 'I learned from the Brazilian girls, who wear tiny bikinis and don't even think about it, that confidence makes a bikini sexy.' The difference between the bikini blues and costume confidence is all in your mind. Love your body exactly as it is and have a carefree, bikini fabulous summer. Alison Porter, aka Coach Fabulous, is a life coach specialising in authentic style and self-confidence. Her coaching websites www.iamfabulous.co.uk and www.coachfabulous.blogspot.com see her play the part of agony aunt to the general public, but if you want her undivided attention you can also make an appointment by emailing coachfabulous@iamfabulous.co.uk |