From the book 'Detox your Finances' by John Middleton, available from Infinite Ideas as part of their '52 Brilliant Ideas' series priced £12.99

I don't know where you stand on the whole nature/nurture debate, and I suspect you don't give a Darwinian monkey's for my views on the topic. However, it does impinge upon this particular idea.

For some of you, I have some potentially alarming news: adults who were baled out financially by their parents are more likely to be financially irresponsible themselves. So be afraid - this means that your children learn their money management skills from you.

And they don't fall for the rhetoric ('Learn this one thing - a debt-free life is a happy life, my son' or 'A pound saved is a future made' and so on), they learn from how we actually deal with them on the ground. So if you have ever found yourself quietly slipping Number One son a few extra notes to keep him solvent after his monthly allowance expired several days before the end of the month, you are passing on the not-so-subliminal message that going overdrawn doesn't really matter because somebody will help them out.

So what can we do practically to encourage our children in the development of good money management skills? Here are a few suggestions:

• Keep up to date with paying pocket money. Same day each month or week and the right amount. This prepares kids for their own budgeting in later life
• Make sure they are absolutely clear what the allowance covers. As they get older, increase their allowance to cover more items. By the time they are 12 or thereabouts, include a clothing allowance
• Let them choose how to spend their money. You might not approve of the latest Limp Bizkit CD but remember: did your parents like what you did with your pocket money?
• Start a savings account in their name. Those who start saving early in life tend to do so as adults
• Set an example. Your children learn important lessons by watching how you behave with money
• Don't let them go over budget habitually. If they do from time to time, ask for chores in return or lend against future funds but then remember to keep tabs on the repayment
• Encourage your children to give money and time to charities. This will teach them that there are other uses for money besides personal consumption

Teaching children money-management skills takes practise and patience. The key is to be persistent, to learn to say no to your child and not get discouraged. Easier said than done, of course, particularly when your child is rolling around on the floor in the local supermarket combining high dudgeon with the screaming abdabs because you won't give them the money to buy some chocolate. But there's real evidence that parents who make a conscious effort to teach their children money-management skills will help them to be financially responsible adults.

How did it go?

Q My elder child has just asked me for a very expensive pair of trainers. I'm a little short of cash myself this month but I don't like to disappoint him. What can I do?

A Don't overprotect your children from the financial realities. There's no reason why we should pretend to be a bottomless money pit so if you don't have the money, let them know. Being children, they will probably suspect you of arbitrary mean spiritedness, but they will also begin to get an appreciation of how much different things cost, and that buying one item means denying another.

Q Yes, but what about the trainers?

A Encourage them to save up for the more expensive items that they've set their hearts on. This will accustom them to the idea of delayed gratification and of only buying something when they can afford it.

Did you know?

Apparently three-quarters of parents admit to extending their children's credit from time to time. We further compound the financial corrupting of our flesh and blood if we tell them they can keep the money 'but don't tell your father/mother'.

According to a recent survey, one in ten parents admits to having committed this particular offence at least once, fatally undermining any attempt by the other parent to teach responsible financial behaviour.