Men want sex more than women do. Bad sex always leads to break-ups. If he has an affair, he doesn't love you. Which of these statements are true and which are mere sex myths? Read on

Men want sex more than women do

Wrong. The reason men tend to wishfully prod their penises into our determinedly turned backs, isn't just to do with desire. Other factors have a big influence, too. For example, we're still more likely to do most of the housework on top of holding down a job, so we're exhausted! Plus, hormones make us feel like having a lot of sex during certain times of the month, rather than all of the time. And, because we tend to attach more emotions to sex than men do, we aren't going to beg him for action if he's been giving us attitude.

If you're a truly great lover, you should know how to please anyone

It's extremely likely that someone who knows a lot about sex and has had lots of practice is going to be better in bed than an inexperienced virgin. However, if you're crazy about said inexperienced lover (physically or emotionally) it might be the best sex you've ever had. 'Good sex' has as much to do with perception and the brain as technique and the genitals.

Happy couples have good sex most of the time

Right, and my neighbour's buying me a private jet for my birthday! Show me a couple that's having out-of-control, raging, lusty sex every night after years of sharing the same bed, and I'll show you a pig that can fly. Toss this one out of the window immediately! Life and all its pressures get in the way for all of us. Does it mean your friend is lying if she claims to have fabulous sex after five years of marriage and two kids? Maybe. Or maybe she thinks you have a great sex life and doesn't want to admit she doesn't. Or maybe her definition of great sex is different from yours. Or maybe she really does have terrific sex, once a month. It's all subjective.

If you have to plan sex, and it isn't spontaneous, something's wrong

Heaven help your partner if you believe this one. Desire might well tap you on the shoulder in the early stages of a relationship, but the hormones that fuel the tapping disappear after about 18 months. But don't panic. It doesn't mean you'll never fancy each other again, it just means that you need to keep reminding your body and brain how much you enjoy sex. Spontaneous sex is usually good sex. But planning a sex session, anticipating it, looking forward to it, makes for pretty good sex as well.

Men are more promiscuous than women

This one is probably true, but by much less than you think. When polled about their sex lives, men overestimate while women underestimate, due to society pressures. It's also totally dependent on how attractive the people in question are. An attractive, sexually liberated woman is likely to have had more partners than a not-so-fab-looking guy around the same age, for instance.

If they had an affair, they don't love me

Wrong again. If your partner cheats, it doesn't necessarily mean he or she doesn't love you. It does, however, mean they don't respect you, if you'd agreed to be monogamous.

Women don't like porn or dirty sex

Take a look at all the emails I get from women asking where to buy good female erotica and you'll see how silly this myth is. And the reverse applies as well. Not all women want rose petals scattered across the bed and romantic massages, rather than raunchy, lusty, wicked romps. Every woman is different. Anyone who thinks men are only ones conjuring up lurid, graphic fantasies about other passengers on public transport is deluded.

Most women orgasm through intercourse

I'm not going to harp on about this one because anyone who's ever read any of my other articles practically has it written on their forehead in felt-tip marker pen that only 30 per cent of women orgasm from penetration alone. But it is worth repeating. Most women need stimulation of the clitoris by a hand or a vibrator during intercourse in order to climax. It's not anyone's fault that the penis isn't enough; it's a design fault in the female body. The clitoris is outside the vagina, rather than inside it. True, some women claim to have fabulous orgasms through front vaginal wall stimulation. But the good old-fashioned clitoral orgasm is far more common and reliable.

Men are always ready for and want sex

If you're talking a 17-year-old who's just landed his first girlfriend, you're probably right. It's likely he will walk, talk, day-dream and want to have sex every waking second (and when he's asleep as well). But once a man hits his mid-20s (and often before that), other parts of his life start to become equally as important as sex, and all that energy and focus is needed elsewhere. Real life dampens a lot of men's sex drives more efficiently than a bucket of water poured over a solitary lit match. Work, stress, pressure, bills, arguments; they all stop him (and you) from feeling like sex all day, every day. He's not like your vibrator; you can't just plug him in and expect him to perform on cue. There is a man attached to that penis.