Should you tell your children that there?s no such person as Father Christmas? If so, at what age? And should you have told them he was real in the first place? A recent thread on our Mums Of Children Aged 5 - 12 message board has polarised opinion

'Uncomfortable'

Member, bolota, writes: 'My six-year-old believes in Santa. She came up with that fantasy from nursery school, three years ago, and at the time I thought that it was all very sweet and did not tell her that it wasn't true. But I am growing increasingly uncomfortable with the situation. I make a point of being very honest with her, even regarding unpleasant situations such as death or sickness, and I really do not want to sustain this lie.'

'No harm'

The idea of breaking the myth horrified many of our members.

penny-lee said: 'Wow, I was quite stunned to read this! While I guess people have to respect your decision to raise your child as you see fit, it seems quite bizarre that you feel the need to tell your six-year-old that Santa isn't real. I just don't understand it, sorry. I have never known anyone want to 'tell' their child about Santa not being real, especially at just six!

'I understand that you feel the need to be honest about stuff, but if it were a case of informing her who her real father is, because she had been led to believe he was someone else, or you wanted to let her know she was adopted, or something else really significant and important, then I could understand it; but there is no harm in letting her continue to believe in Santa.

'I know that you feel the need to be totally honest about everything with your daughter, but quite frankly; there are some things that children just don't need to know.'

Community member, pennypulman, agrees.

'There are so few things in life as joyful as believing in Santa. I would leave her believe as long as possible!'

Saint Nicholas

As mossstitch points out, however, not all children are comfortable with the idea of Father Christmas.

'My daughter is seven and I don't think she really believes there is a Santa. Why would we encourage a fat old stranger with a beard to come into the house while we were all asleep and perhaps even come into her bedroom? This doesn't tie up with 'stranger danger' and always locking the door at night.

'I don't think we ever mentioned that he came down our chimney as it would be pretty impossible to do so. She does know that St Nicholas did exist and gave presents to poor children in Turkey, so the concept of Santa Claus as a giver can still be celebrated. I think she probably thinks of Santa in the same way as the Disney princesses and Barbie; nice but not really real.'

'Gobsmacked!'

But mom-helen felt very strongly.

She added: 'Gobsmacked, totally gobsmacked! What is going on with the world when people regard Santa as a fat old stranger with a beard?

'He is a magical elf who brings the kids presents, and flies around on Christmas Eve in a sledge full of presents, pulled by reindeer; and it's immensely exciting for the kids. This is such a sad, sad way to think. I think the kids with parents with this attitude are really missing out.'

'You mustn't lie, but it is okay if I lie to you'

Bumfy also felt uncomfortable with promoting the idea.

'I never told my kids Santa didn't exist but I didn't tell them he did either. We always explained that Mum and Dad and others brought the presents and as we have no working chimney, I think my kids would have worked that one out for themselves anyway. I personally think kids are more likely to value the things they receive if they think you bought them rather than some fat old bloke in a red suit.

'I never corrected them but I did cringe inwardly when people used to talk to my kids about Santa. I think it is nostalgia for most parents but I do find it a bit hard to reconcile with the 'you mustn't lie but it is okay if I lie to you'.

'Like others have said, some kids feel a real sense of devastation when they realise that Santa is not real and their parents have been stringing them along all this time. I am glad my kids didn't have that to cope with. I know some people would feel my kids missed out but they have always enjoyed Christmas just as much.'

Finding out

But as merith points out, sometimes things take care of themselves.

'Nobody ever told me Santa didn't exist. It's just something I found out over time.

'I don't remember 'finding out' so it must have been a gradual realisation. I'm not planning on sitting my boys down and telling them, like I did when their Granny died.

'I don't think believing in Santa does them any harm and I don't think me not telling them is me lying to them, more keeping a harmless fantasy alive for a bit longer.'

What do you think? Is keeping the secret tantamount to lying to your kids or is it allowing them to believe in magic in an otherwise un-magical world?

Read more and contribute to this debate on the Mums Of Children Aged 5 - 12 message board