Are you bracing yourself for another chocolate heart or oversized teddy bear on 14 February? If your guy just can't grasp what's really romantic send him right here for some honest advice

After my sister got married, the bride and groom nipped into the loos of the register office, changed into their biking leathers and rode off to the pub on a hired Harley Davidson, while the best man played Elvis Presley's Burnin' Love on a ghetto blaster. There wasn't a dry eye in the car park. It was the most romantic thing I'd seen in my life.

Romance, you see, isn't necessarily about roses, chocolates and Whitney Houston. Well it could be, if your beloved is a passionate devotee of roses and chocolates and Whitney Houston. But that's the point. Romance is about your partner and what makes their world go round as opposed to what makes the greetings card industry go round.

Most of us women do not find any of that hearts and fluff stuff romantic, because there's nothing original or personal about it. True romance is about imagination, creativity and spontaneity. A romantic gift or gesture is one that's uniquely and thoughtfully aimed at your loved one. So if you want to make your girl's heart spin this Valentine's Day, forget the giant card with the bunny on the front and try something different.

Whisk her away

A recent survey found that more than a quarter of women rate travel as their favourite gift. The surprise getaway may be pricey, but it's a guaranteed winner. Add that kick of surprise by booking in secret and texting her a day or two in advance, asking her to meet you at the Eurostar terminal with her passport. Whisk her away to Paris shortly before Valentine's Day, when the place isn't yet overrun with smoochy couples, and before the restaurants have raised their prices to match.

Memory lane

Women find reminiscing wildly romantic, so indulge her nostalgia. Spend the night touring the town to re-live some of your best dates. Have a drink at the bar where you met, then jump in a cab for dinner at the place where you ate on your third date. On your way home, pick up some champagne at the supermarket where you bought breakfast the morning after sleeping together for the first time. Women remember all this stuff, and you'll get major bedtime points if you remember too.

Love tokens

Make some personal vouchers, like gift vouchers, but for an hour-long massage from you, a clean house, or 10 breakfasts in bed. Use your imagination. Be as saucy as you want, but make it all about her. Don't create an elaborate voucher for a threesome if that's your fantasy and not hers. And I'll say it again: the massage. Don't forget the massage.

Just the ticket

If she's the low-key type and finds the whole Valentine's thing silly, that's not an excuse to ignore it. Just mark it in your own non-cheesy way. Secretly plan an activity that you will both enjoy; maybe a film or a music concert. If you live together, present her with a ticket that morning with breakfast in bed.

Surprise her

Doing what everyone does is deeply unromantic, so have your own personal V-Day a few days in advance. Text her at work to say: 'Today is our Valentine's Day, why wait? Meet me for dinner tonight'. Spontaneity is romantic gold, and none of the restaurants will be booked up.

Love uploads

Make her a romantic music mix with a personal touch. Buy her an MP3 player and pre-load it with romantic and poignant playlists that she'll love.

Budget love

If you're short on cash, don't fret. It's a myth that the best gifts are the most expensive ones. Get a small gift that tells her how much you mean to her. For example, if you've recently started going out, buy her sexy pyjamas to keep at your place. She will love the gesture, because it's a sign that she's welcome in your home.

Show her that you know her

Pay attention to detail. With the pyjamas, make sure you know her size; just sneak a peek at the label in her clothes. Be creative, too. Put a new toothbrush in the pocket, along with a small folded-up note saying something like 'I love it when you stay over'.

Think about how you present the gift. Don't just wrap it up and hand it over with a grunt. Invite her over on Valentine's Day and, when she nips to the loo, have some new lingerie hanging there for her. Say: 'Oh, I think there's something for you on the back of the door.' With any luck, she'll come back wearing her pressie.

Are you looking for love this Valentine's Day? Meet other single people near you for fun, love or romance.