Does the thought of sitting through a romantic dinner for two fill you with thoughts of 'rude food'? Or do gifts of chocolate and flowers frustrate you? iVillage sexpert Tracey Cox replaces traditional romantic scenarios with hot, sexy treats

Add some naughty starters to dinner for two

'Book a restaurant where you know that the tables are low and well-covered and give him a hand job,' says Tracey. 'Make sure that you wear a skirt with no knickers so that he can return the favour.'

Our sexpert put her own advice into practice: 'When I did this myself with a partner at a cosy corner table with a low table cloth my mind was elsewhere when the waiter came. I ordered a five-inch instead of a five oz steak!'

Naked dining

Instead of gazing at your loved one over candlelight, quite literally turn the tables.

Tracey says: 'Try this slightly 'out there' scenario. It's slightly S&M. Both get completely naked. Then one of you kneels on all fours with a straight back, making a naked table, while the other partner eats the meal off their back.'

Or get messy smearing and inserting food and finding it with your tongue. 'Try bananas, chocolate, yoghurt, or alternate warm ingredients with a warm tongue. Avoid anything spicy or oily, it will upset your pH balance,' says Tracey.

Sexy gifts

Forget floral bouquets and pralines; let your hair down with a fun sex toy or erotic book. Tracey says: 'Choose something bonkers and funny, like a vibrating nipple massager.'

Bashful couples can try a more subtle approach: 'Pick up some erotic photography books,' says Tracey. 'Then have a bed picnic with sexy nibbles and champagne and piles of sex books. Put post-it notes on pages with positions that you then want to try.'

Make fantasies happen

If you are planning a romantic surprise, ditch the dinner date and try and fulfil his erotic fantasies instead. But Tracey recommends that you make sure you pitch your treat without putting your relationship at risk.

'Tailor your surprise to something you know they want to try. Get a sense of him. If he fancies a threesome, dial in a phone-sex worker on the line, or drop into a swinger?s club for an hour to get a flavour.'

Do something rudely romantic

'Tying someone up can be rude and romantic. Before you get to the saucy bits, spend a lot of time kissing and stroking your partner. This foreplay can be incredibly romantic and sexy.'

The cup of love

Try this romantic toast with a difference, and it has to be with bubbles. Tracey Cox says: 'Try the champagne kiss. Put champagne in your mouth and kiss your partner unexpectedly. Then, as you kiss, release a little bit of your drink at a time into their mouth. Add strawberries to champagne for a sensual sensation.'

Make a romantic break a wild weekend

'Instead of a cliched weekend like Paris or Florence, go edgy. Book Amsterdam and get down to the Red Light District or visit a lap dancing bar in Prague. Pop to a city with a sex museum, like New York or Stockholm, and behave like you are having an affair on limited time. Stay out all night, sleep all day and think erotic,' says Tracey.

Swap romantic words for dirty talk

Scribbling sweet nothings on a card or note can be wildly romantic but 'write dirty' and you'll cause a sensational stir.

Tracey says: 'Write down your erotic fantasy on a card and tailor it to your partner. Make spanking fantasies a reality! Replace the words 'I love you' with 'I lust AFTER you.'

Switch romantic roles

'Buy HIM flowers instead. Pick him something simple and cool and you will look strong and sexy,' says Tracey.