Kate Hudson talks about divorce, the perils of dating and how she's stayed strong

Reproduced from May 08 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine. This month's issue on sale now.

'They are so not my boobs,' laughs Kate Hudson, pointing at the poster for her latest film, Fool's Gold. 'They look too perfect. Seriously, if I ever wanted to have them done I'd take this poster to the doctor and say, 'This is what I want them to look like.''

We're sitting in a suite in London's A-list Dorchester Hotel discussing the merits of airbrushing - not that Kate needs it. Wearing a skintight turquoise Burberry dress and sky-high Louboutins, the 28-year-old looks amazing - and it's only just past noon.

Of course, in terms of media training, she's been there, done that, got the T-shirt. As the daughter of veteran actors Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell (her biological father is Bill Hudson, but she's always called Kurt 'Pa'), Kate has grown up as a part of Hollywood royalty. While we remember feeding the ducks in our childhoods, she recalls being taught to cartwheel by ballet dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov, and Warren Beatty dropping by for coffee.

Today, the world according to Kate is this: judge me on my films, not my men. Now a bona fide leading lady in her own right, she's the antidote to the young Hollywood of Paris Hiltons who'd do just about anything to get their picture in the papers. In fact, Kate would do anything to get hers out.

After one hell of a 2007, which saw her getting divorced from her husband of seven years, Black Crowes frontman Chris Robinson, 41 - who is also father of her four-year-old son Ryder - and being put under scrutiny after Owen Wilson's widely reported suicide attempt in August (the two had enjoyed a nine-month romance until that June), she's finally emerged on them other side. And guess what? This year she's stronger and sexier than before, despite her rekindled friendship with Owen being the talk of the tabloids. So how's she done it? Read on to find out...

The last time we spoke was January 2007 - and a lot has happened since. How have the past 12 months been?

Kate Hudson: 'So many people have been making up stories about me, which has been difficult as I feel I'm constantly up against them. You become the lead character in their soap opera. I've finally got to a place where I know it's not real, and I'm not going to waste my time convincing these people of that.'

Let's put the story straight then

Kate Hudson: 'OK, so, things are actually really good. My relationship with Chris was always really good. And my relationship with Owen was also always really good. Anything other than that is just people making things up.'

How's single life been treating you?

Kate Hudson: 'I'm loving it. I'm not the least bit interested in dating - I'm just not in that headspace right now. My son is my man. I wake up in the morning when he comes in to say, 'Mummy, get up,- and I'm the happiest ever.'

Dating must be a whole new ball game now that you have a child

Kate Hudson: 'It is. I don't want a man who doesn't understand that he's not my priority any longer. I think that's what happened with Chris towards the end, and it's a problem a lot of single mums face. I guess that's why they end up getting together with a guy who has kids, too, as he understands. You can never love anything or anyone more than your son or daughter. No relationship will ever be the same again - your priorities are completely different now.'

Your character, Tess, in your latest film Fool's Gold is going through a divorce. Was it difficult playing her while experiencing a similar situation?

Kate Hudson: 'I don't think so. For a start, I don't like taking work home with me - there are so many more important things in my life than my work. As an actress, my goal is to make my acting effortless in the way that, say, Meryl Streep does. I look at her and it's so natural, and I look at my dad Kurt and I don't even notice his performance. You don't want anyone to catch you actually acting, you know?'

Still, your real-life experiences and emotions must have added something?

Kate Hudson: 'I have no idea. I can say yes to make it easier for you, but no. [Laughs] Of course, the difficulty and the pain of feeling like you've lost something you love is still there, so I could relate to that. But I really do separate my life from my work. At the moment, I'm taking some time just to figure out what it feels like to get divorced.'

Go on?

Kate Hudson: 'It was definitely the most difficult thing I've ever done. I feel I've grown up a lot. All I can say is thank God I did it with Chris. He's a good man, with a huge heart - and, let me tell you, it didn't lack for love. We helped each other through it and we still talk multiple times a day.'

Was being single again hard at first?

Kate Hudson: 'Yes. The hardest thing was that I forgot what it was like to be alone with myself. I forgot what it was like to be on my own in our apartment.'

What helped you get through the heartbreak?

Kate Hudson: 'I only really relaxed when I realised Chris would always be there for me because we have a child together; that no matter who I end up with, he will always be one of the most important people in my life.'

You're fast becoming the queen of rom coms - so we're figuring you must have picked up a tip or two about love along the way?

Kate Hudson: 'It's one of the most talked-about subjects and everybody's looking for what it means - my girlfriends and I can sit and talk about it forever. But what have I learnt? Probably that there is no answer. There is no right or wrong.

And no matter what, relationships are fun, they're exhilarating, they're contrary - and they're always going to have problems. I don't know one person - if there is anyone, please let me know - who's been with someone for more than five years and never run into some kind of difficulty.'

Tess tries to change Finn (Matthew McConaughey) in the film, but soon gives up. Do you think it's possible to 'train' men?

Kate Hudson: 'Yes and no. We totally do because we're caretakers - we want to take care of everything. I know my girlfriends and I are always like, "Oh, that guy is so great - if only we could put him in that outfit instead." But we can't, and as I've got older I've realised you have to accept that the person you're with won't always be the person you want them to be. Chris was totally stubborn, so there's no way I could have changed a thing about him, even if I'd wanted to. Now, I don't want to have to change anyone - I don't want the responsibility. I definitely think people stretch, though.'

Do you believe there's a soulmate for everyone?

Kate Hudson: 'No. I believe there are certain people who are supposed to be in your life at certain times, and that there are people you meet and continue to have long-standing relationships with through respect and good communication. But just one? No.'

You've hit the headlines in the past for saying that men are not meant to be monogamous. What did you mean?

Kate Hudson: 'I meant that men are more animalistic than we are. The difference between men and women is a highly discussed topic and we all know that, animalistically, they are supposed to drop their seed in as many places as they can! I meant it in a primal sense. I went on a safari in Africa recently and I was watching all these animals and thinking, "That's me." We're all animals, with the guys out getting the food. Apart from lions - female lions do everything.' [Laughs]

So you're saying that men simply can't help cheating?

Kate Hudson: 'No, I don't mean that at all. Listen, this is an easy thing for people to make controversial - I say one thing and all of a sudden everyone's like, "She doesn't believe in monogamy." I believe men need someone and if that's what they want in their life, then they will absolutely be monogamous. I'm talking about the reason men are so different from women - and the fact that until men decide they want to choose one woman and settle down, they're going to be flakey. And it's not just men. Everyone needs different things - I know women who are like that and don't want to settle.'

What about you?

Kate Hudson: 'I'm totally monogamous.'

Would you forgive a man who cheated on you?

Kate Hudson: [Long pause] 'Probably. I don't know. It's difficult to predict how you'll react, but I have a real thing with it. I've always been straight with guys and said, "When the time comes that you feel you need to go in a different direction, please just tell me." I'd rather be told before than afterwards, when it'd hurt me.

It'd kill me. I believe you can work on anything, as long as honesty still plays a part and you can stop it being about who's a liar. That's always been a really big rule for me because there's always going to be temptation. There are always going to be moments in life when you're looking for something to make you feel alive again.'

Let's talk about Matthew McConaughey. What is it about you guys? You're always working together.

Kate Hudson: 'I don't know - we seem to drive each other crazy in a good way. As Matthew puts it, we're the perfect pain in each other's asses.'

It helps that he spends most of his time half-naked, right?

Kate Hudson: [Laughs] 'There is just this thing of trust between us. I feel safe with him and I believe he wouldn't let anything happen to me. That's not to say I wouldn't let anything happen to him... That's just the male/female relationship. It's rare that you get to work with someone you really love, and that's my relationship with Matthew. I spent my whole adolescence hanging out with my brother and his friends, so I've always felt at ease around men.'

You've always had a great attitude. How have you managed to stay so grounded?

Kate Hudson: 'My parents gave me the greatest career advice. They said, "Make sure you have interests in other fields." Let's face it, most people in the entertainment business are insecure. It's inevitable if you're on show the whole time, and if there's nothing else to focus on you become obsessed by what the world thinks about you.'

You really don't care?

Kate Hudson: 'No, and I think most people in Hollywood feel that way. The funniest thing is when I meet people for the first time and we're like, "Hey, we're supposed to have been making out last week." We laugh about it and say, "Well, I guess that's what this industry is about."'

Why do you think people are so fascinated watching stars like Britney Spears self-destruct?

Kate Hudson: 'I don't know. Even with things like becoming single, all of a sudden it's like, "Let's get her making out with all these different people." Without you even doing anything, you're in the media for months! You have to laugh and just go with it, otherwise you'd go crazy. The way I see it, I'm very strong and people can say whatever they want.'

Finally, you've come into 2008 stronger and sexier than before. What have you learnt along the way?

Kate Hudson: [Long pause] 'My main focus and my priority is my son, and it has been ever since the day he was born. Nothing else matters, nothing else is real. I care about my son, my family, my work, and I feel great when someone walks up and tells me they loved my movie and it made them happy.

So I hope to continue doing that, and hopefully along the way I can erase all this negativity that people are interested in. I'm a pretty positive person, so watch this space.'

Kate stars in Fool's Gold, with Matthew McConaughey, which is out on April 18.