Why a great relationship doesn't have to obey the rules of attraction

When odd couple Cheeky Girl Gabriela Irimia and Lib Dem MP Lembit Opik declared their love for one another, a few eyebrows were raised.

Why? Because they're hardly Brad and Ange, and neither are we. When they got together, many assumed it was a publicity stunt. But a couple of years and a sparkly rock later, they proved that you don't have to be Hollywood perfect to get it on.

While we cross our fingers for Lembo and Gabi, here are three good reasons to try an odd-couple relationship:

1. Ugly men make devoted boyfriends

Gabriela, like her Lembit-dating predecessor Sian Lloyd, probably had her share of hot men. After years on the dating rollercoaster, she learned that pretty boys don't make the best boyfriends.

So she 'down-dated' instead, snaring a guy much further down the beauty scale. He couldn't believe his luck, and she got a devoted and grateful partner who's unlikely to run off with anyone else. Bingo!

The daters say:

'I always used to date pretty men,' says Rhiannon, 35. 'But a man's beauty can blind you to his faults. My last boyfriend took me for granted, because he knew he could have anyone he wanted.

'The guy I'm seeing now is not my type physically. We met online, and I wouldn't have looked at his photo twice if his letter hadn't struck such a chord. He really had to work. He seduced my brain, and he treats me like a princess. Basically he tries much harder, and I love it!'

Potential pitfalls:

Sian might have thought Lembit was too ugly to leave her, but he dumped her for the prettier Gabriela. Still, Sian had the last laugh by marrying millionaire motor entrepreneur Jonathan Ashman.

Down-dating can also speak volumes about your self-respect – or lack of it. Don't get into the habit of thinking that you deserve no better than a guy you don't really fancy.

Plenty of us do it. We accept a date or even a marriage proposal from a man we have reservations about, because we think we can't do any better. Well, hear this: you deserve to date someone you fancy!

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2. Handsome men are lazy in bed

Oh to be a fly on the Opik/Irimia bedroom wall. We'd love to think that Lembit's night-time hijinks far outstretch those of your Pitts and your Depps. Quite simply, Lembit can't just lie there looking fit. He's got to make an effort.

The daters say:

'My friend briefly dated Adam last year, and I had to ask what she saw in him,' says divorced mum-of-one Sarah, 42. 'She said, straight out, that he was incredible in bed. When they split up I was a bit curious!

'Adam was short and I'm quite tall, and I would never normally have gone for him. But when he showed an interest, I had nothing to lose.

'Before him, I'd always assumed that I didn't like sex very much. After seeing Adam, I know that I love sex when it's with a partner who cares about my pleasure.

'Adam just seemed much less complacent than my more conventional-looking ex. He was generous and thoughtful... and he gave me my first multiple orgasm at the age of 42.'

Potential pitfalls:

Don't assume that the worst-looking men are the best in bed. On the contrary, says Isla, 30: 'I've had lots of one-night stands, and the worst-looking men are definitely not the best lovers. The good-lookers have had more experience, and the ugly guys can be quite nervous and insecure.'

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3. It pays to escape your dating rut

Most of us fall into a pattern of dating a 'type'. Maybe you always go for tall, brooding, studious types. Or you date energetic party animals who share your taste in music.

There are celeb déja vu daters everywhere. Kate Moss and her lean, cool-as-hell pretty boys; Pamela Anderson and her hairy tattooed rockers; Rod Stewart and his identikit blondes.

But if you're a type-dater, you may be doing yourself a disservice. It's not a bad move to date someone with a very different background from your own. You may find that you have lots more to talk about.

The daters say:

Set designer Kerry, 28, had a type. 'They always worked in a similar field to me and were always quite young. And it always fizzled out. We were obvious matches, but they bored me.

'My current man is totally different. A lot of people have wondered what I see in him, and they reckon he must have a massive package or wallet! But he just keeps me interested, because we're so different.

'He's 15 years older than me, divorced with two kids who live with him sometimes, and he works in a bank. He's not my type at all. But we talk and talk and talk, and I love his company.

'Having less in common is a real advantage. It's not the same old conversations about the latest club or TV programmes from when we were kids.

'When my friends say about their own relationships: 'oh he's amazing, we have so much in common,' I'd love to tell them what they're missing!'

Potential pitfalls:

If you've got nothing in common, it's probably because your tastes and life expectations are different. And when you're heading in opposite directions, whether it's in TV channels or planning kids, love gets tricky.

A big gap in age or taste may mean that you can't relate to each other's casual cultural references. Never underestimate the power of a good 'do you remember that episode of Top of the Pops...?' conversation.

Besides, people like people who are like them. It's one of those inescapable laws of attraction. Recent research even shows that people with similar names are more likely to fancy each other. Lembit and Gabriela? The jury's still out.