Instant messaging has become a way of life for many people. Chatting to friends and colleagues while the computer is on is as natural as talking on the phone. As Microsoft's Windows Live Messenger celebrates its 10th birthday, communication expert Judi James shares her top tips for IM etiquette

What kind of Instant Messenger are you? Take our quiz and find out

• Always think about whom you are talking to and adapt your language and writing style appropriately. Exclamation marks and smiley faces can irritate some people, but others love them. If in doubt, try once or twice and if they're not reciprocated, drop them.
• Be aware of how you sign off. Abruptly ending the conversation without saying goodbye or indicating you are ending the session is poor etiquette.
• Be careful when using humour or sarcasm as the meaning can sometimes be lost without tone, facial expressions or body language. If in doubt reread the message before sending and think about how you would interpret it if it were sent to you.
• If you feel the need to add a smiley face, wink or exclamation mark to convey humour or sarcasm, it may be worth rewording the message.
• Be polite. Don't forget 'please' and 'thank yous' and avoid demanding for things such as 'You need to' or 'I have to have' as this can come across as short and rude. Instead ASK for things - saying 'Could you please' or 'I would really appreciate it if' makes a big difference.
• The pauses in between messages are often analysed. Remember, the recipient is unaware of your surroundings so if you are unable to reply they may think you are ignoring them and get offended. If you are called away during a chat, take two seconds to tell them this. If you are too busy to chat, change your IM status to 'busy'.
• If you wouldn't say it out loud, don't write it! Some people feel more confident using IM to flirt with friends or work colleagues, but remember there's nothing to stop the recipient from showing it to other people and once it's sent you can't take it back.
• Use the mirroring technique. Mirroring another person's body language is good way to get on with them and is often used when dating. The same applies with Instant Messenger so copy their writing and delivery style to get on their side.
• Be aware that your responder may be busy or at work. Do not harass them for quick responses as this may irritate them and come across as impatient.
• If you want to see who's on IM, but would like to avoid being contacted, change your status to 'appear offline' and when you're ready to receive IMs, change it back to 'online'.

What kind of Instant Messenger are you? Take our quiz and find out