Having your first baby can be scary as well as exciting. Christine Hill on the anxieties you may feel

Once you've accepted that you're actually going to have a baby, a whole new set of worries come crowding into your mind.

1. I’m terrified of the birth.
2. Should I book into some antenatal classes? Where? When? How?
3. Where shall I have the baby?
4. I think I’ll have a home birth.
5. Actually, I think I’ll have a Caesarean.
6. How much maternity leave do I get? When shall I give up work?
7. What's the deal with flexible working hours? Perhaps I won’t be able to go back to work?
8. We have GOT to move house.
9. I must start going to the gym more so I can get fit for the birth.
10. I mustn’t put on as much weight as the girl in accounts did.
11. I don’t like babies much. What happens if I don’t like mine?
12. Is my baby going to be OK?

Most of you will have had at least two from the list. Another way of looking at them is to call the whole process 'thinking ahead'. The alternative to thinking ahead is to block out any thought about the future, bury yourself in your work and sort of forget about the pregnancy. (Let alone the baby.) This frame of mind – denial – is of course one option, but you're likely to run into trouble when your baby is born.

Let’s look at each point separately.

1. I’m terrified of the birth.

Most women are. Even if you start off totally relaxed – thinking women have been having babies for centuries and your mother and sister had no problems – one glance at a pregnancy book, let alone the chapter on complications, is probably enough to make you anxious.

Girlfriends are a mixed blessing when you're pregnant for the first time.

They always seem to know someone who had the most horrendous time and as soon as they find out that you're pregnant, they feel compelled to tell you about it. I would stay away from those who make you feel uneasy or frighten you, even though they may have the best intentions.

Labour is something you are going to have to get through. It might be helpful to know that 87% of women would be able to have a baby in a field if necessary, with no problems whatsoever. That’s a pretty large percentage. There really is nothing to be terrified of. You can always have pain relief, as and when you need or want it. You're not going to have to take an exam which you pass or fail, and you're certainly not going to be made to have either a ‘natural’ childbirth or an epidural if that is what you don’t want at the time. Some labours are quick and easy, and the women don’t need pain relief and really enjoy it. (I’m not kidding.)

Another fact which might be helpful to know is that the type of labour a woman has is dependent on the shape of her pelvis and the size and position of her baby. It is certainly not dependent on her pain threshold or how fit she may be.

All that matters about having a baby is that the baby is OK.

What doesn’t matter is whether you have pain relief or not. There are no studies that show that babies born to women who had a ‘natural’ birth end up at a different university to those born to women that had pain relief. You keep an open mind and see how things go.

You will have a midwife with you, and she or he has been specially trained to look after you. No one is into making women suffer when they have a baby and all hospitals will be able to give you pain relief whenever you need it.

It is, however, important to book into some antenatal classes, so you'll know what to expect.