When love at work turns sour it can lead to a new lease of life for your career. Don’t mope – get moving.

So you’ve dated some guy from work and the relationship has bitten the dust. No need to cry in the loos. You’ve just been given an unparalleled opportunity to lavish your career with attention and love. Take it from one who knows.

I know dating at work is usually frowned upon, but I’ve gone out with work colleagues in the majority of my workplaces, and I can honestly say not only have the relationships been good for my social life in the short term, but the break-ups were inadvertently good for my career in the long run.

Sure, there are the obvious benefits when a work relationship works out: having an instant carpooling partner, commiserating over that idiot boss, being guaranteed a date for all work functions. But it’s when you break up that the benefits really kick in.

You can focus on things that matter

Although it’s over, you can’t help but be a little angry. Revenge seems tempting. In this case you can make it work to your advantage. No laying elaborate booby traps around his desk. The best revenge is living well, and that means renewing your focus on your career. When I stopped crying over my break-up with John at a small newspaper, I was able to focus on my editing even when he was in the office. As a result, I polished skills that I still draw upon. I suddenly had extra time to investigate other jobs, one of which I took later that year. And I made friends with the (many) work mates who couldn’t stand him.

You can take on new projects, work the occasional evening (seeing as you no longer have nights out) – it all adds up to a higher profile with your boss who no longer views you as the office girlie of that flashy guy in sales. Still need convincing? Picture this for motivation: You – successful, polished, being courted by hotshot companies begging for your expertise. Him – still in the same old job, going out with the tight top in PR.

You can strengthen your moral fibre

If he breaks up with you – congratulations! You’ll finally be ready to kick that pernicious habit of droning on and on about your personal life at work. You’ll be too embarrassed to detail all the reasons he gave you for walking, and you’ll finally stop spending so much time gabbing around the coffee machine. When Jamie and I split up, I initially told no one and avoided office gossip by staying in my office. As a result my productivity skyrocketed and the big boss more frequently saw me at my computer rather than walking the corridor deep in frivolous conversation.

You can see things as they are

Which is to say, have you been coming to work for the challenges, the education you’re getting, the excitement of forging your career – or to hang around your man all day? Once the romance is gone, so are those rose-tinted spectacles. It’s never too early to evaluate where a job is headed in relation to your long-term goals.

It sounds mad, but motivated by break-ups, I’ve left a couple of jobs and improved my career. Moving jobs is one of the best ways of ratcheting up prestige, salary, skills and responsibility. When I was dissatisfied at one company, my waning relationship with Dave (still a pal) made me realise he was the only bright spot in my day. I went freelance – something I’d wanted to do for years. Years later, a mismatched boyfriend and a mismatched job sent me into the arms of iVillage.

I even moved to the big city because my in-house man dumped me and I needed to go somewhere. It spurred me to have a conversation with my boss about my opportunities. It turns out there weren’t any. If not for my ex’s insufferable vanity and egotism, I could have wasted another year filing and answering phones.

Having a relationship with a work colleague can be tricky. Why not tell us about your ups and downs concerning love at work.