A new language is thriving at work. Will it make you a mover and shaker? Or just look like an idiot? Here are the words we love to hate – whether we use them or not.

It’s no secret that the one of the best ways to get ahead in business is to learn a new language. But nowadays we’re not talking evening classes in Spanish or Japanese – corporate jargon is the latest trend for the truly ambitious.

The facts
According to a survey by recruitment consultancy Office Angels, office gobbledegook is spreading rapidly among Britain’s workforce. Those unfamiliar with terms such as ‘helicopter view’ (summary/ wide view of the picture) and ‘etailing’ (internet retailing) will soon be in the minority. The study revealed that 55 per cent of office workers polled used some form of office jargon, mainly when in meetings. Twenty per cent of employees felt obliged to use such terms in an effort to keep up with colleagues despite not always having a clear idea what they meant. It also appears that the use of office jargon is more common in the South than in any other region of the UK.

‘Office jargon is extremely widespread,’ says Sara Eldoori, Head of Marketing and Publicity at Office Angels. ‘People often use it in meetings as a way to show off, be in control or display their expertise. We also found that it tends to be more prevalent in the creative sectors such as advertising and IT or new media but it’s also starting to infiltrate the more traditional sectors as well.’

Office jargon originated in the US and from the Internet but new phrases are being introduced all the time. There are currently around 40,000 combinations of office jargon in use in the UK workplace.

Speak English, please
The backlash against office lingo has already begun. Forty per cent of those questioned felt that office jargon was frustrating and off-putting and some even said it was downright rude and pretentious.

Says Eldoori: ‘There are some concerns about the rise of office jargon. Mainly that people were using these words when they didn’t know what they meant, or to gain a competitive edge over their colleagues – particularly in a confrontational situation because it’s very difficult to argue with someone when you don’t know what they mean. You have to be very brave in an office environment to say: “I don’t have a clue what you are talking about”.’

Despite the fact that office jargon is most prevalent in the IT sector many of these companies discourage their employees from overusing unfamiliar terms.

John Nicol, an IT manager for a London-based company, believes that corporate jargon can complicate relations in the workplace. He says: ‘I wouldn’t promote the use of office jargon among my employees because I often think the simple approach is the most affective. If someone doesn’t understand the jargon it can waste time or even worse cause resentment or embarrassment between colleagues. It can be difficult enough to keep up at work, never mind having to learn a whole new vocabulary. It can be funny and even useful if it’s kept to a minimum but when someone spouts out whole sentences in jargon, people just get confused.’

The advantages of speaking the office lingo Although jargon can be exclusive, this can often have its advantages. Many workers found that it can help build team confidence and liven up dull meetings. But whatever the advantages or disadvantages of office jargon it appears, for now, it’s here to stay. Says Eldoori: ‘I’d like to do this survey in three years time. I bet this year’s words will be familiar and there will probably be a whole range of new terms as well.’

Do you know what I mean?
Check out these key phrases and their meanings. Dodge or embrace them, depending on your perspective… Let’s play not… but.

Finger in the air – not a rude, dextrous gesture but a rough estimate.

Ticking the right boxes – not doing the pools but meeting objectives.

Put to bed – not putting your feet up for a kip but finishing the task in hand.

Think outside the box – not having a think while standing next to the phone booth but offering a fresh perspective on an issue.

Run it up the flagpole and see who salutes – not doing a stint of work experience on the jolly roger but trying out an idea or product to see if anyone likes it.

Getting into bed with someone – not necessarily sex but getting to know a colleague better. Well, yes, that could be entirely sex.

Adding value – not totting up the savings you’ve made by shopping at your favourite bargain basement but adding something other than cash to a business venture or relationship.

Synergy – not a newfangled skin product but a perfect, mutually beneficial match that yields more than expected.

Face time – not dolling yourself up but meeting up with someone away from the phone or email. But that could, of course, involve dolling up.

Drill down – not digging up the roads (again) but getting into detail.

Water-cooler moment – not breaking your back over a massive water bottle but usually what Ally McBeal or Pat Butcher were up to on TV the night before.

B2B – not a new way to state your bra size but a website that makes money out of business to business services or products.

B2C – not a new way to explain to the lingerie assistant what’s happened since you went on the pill but a website that makes money out of business to consumer services or products.

Bricks-2-clicks – not Lego’s latest money spinner but an established company going online.

Bandwidth – not the future (ish) of the Internet but boringly enough just having the capacity to do something. E.g. Do you have the bandwidth to read to the end of this article?

Soft copy – not something off the top shelf but an electronic document.

Hard copy – not something off the top shelf from a specialised vendor but a paper document.

Heavy-hitter – not a playground bully but someone important. Both definitions can sometimes work simultaneously.

Getting in on the ground floor – not getting into a lift but being in on the start of something.

Serial entrepreneur – not an enterprising young killer but someone who starts up many businesses.

Taking something offline – not bringing in the washing but chatting about something later rather than in a meeting. This is one of many methods to mask your ignorance with a snappy new phrase. This really works if you can take the shame of actually uttering the words.

Win-win situation – a cause for celebration where everybody comes up smelling of roses.

Taking ownership of something – not a bit of impromptu shoplifting but being in charge of something.

Hit the ground running – not being assaulted by a group of more experienced joggers but being able to start quickly.

Parachute someone in – not re-enacting the D-Day landings but supplying someone to do a job offsite.

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