Training guru, Cristina Stuart, advises on the awkward situation of asking for more.

Ever felt your confidence wane when you are faced with an awkward situation? One position many women have to face is asking for a pay rise from their boss. It's an intimidating prospect at the best of times. Women are often at a disadvantage to their male colleagues because they find it harder to talk about success than men do. Cristina Stuart, managing director of SpeakFirst, offers the followings tips to help women get that pay rise.

• Preparation. Decide on your goal and your fallback position beforehand, and ask discreetly around your company to see how realistic it is.
  
  
• Formulate your approach and practise with a friend.
  
  
• Talk as slowly as you can. This will make you appear more confident and help you feel calmer.
  
  
• Remember that your nerves are perfectly natural, but much less noticeable than you think. Combat negative thoughts with memories of previous success, such as the time you last gained promotion etc. Deep breaths and letting your hands hang by your side are simple but effective methods of stopping a racing heart and trembling hands.
  
  
• Ask for more than you expect. This shows you mean business and makes sure you are much more likely to get what you want. Say what you want to receive, but don’t turn the discussion into a demand for money. Don't be afraid to ask about benefits such as pensions or company cars as part of your negotiation.
  
  
• Body language is crucial. Maintain eye contact with your boss, not with the ceiling, window or your fingernails. Don't fiddle with anything, so tie back your hair or leave off jewellery if you have fiddling tendencies. Sit up, and smile.
  
  
• Clothes also play a part in the impression you make. Dress as you want to be perceived. Sexy is not advisable but business-like is. Dress for your next position.
  
  

• Don't accept the first rejection of your demand. Remind your boss how useful you are. If your request is refused, set a date for a further salary review and ask what you should do to qualify, i.e. take on more tasks; go on a training course.
  
  
• Be prepared to think on your feet. You may have to adjust your demands according to the circumstances, so be flexible. If in doubt, play for time, using phrases such as, 'I need to think about that'.
  
  
• If you get what you want, make sure that you repeat what's been agreed to avoid ambiguity.
  
  
• Assuming you achieve your goal, celebrate quietly. Avoid putting colleagues' noses out of joint as they might not have been so successful.