The wine is flowing, spirits are high, work is, hopefully, minimal and it's the one time when you can really let your hair down. Or is it? Here's how to keep your cool and stop those simmering passions and festering grudges from getting out of control

Here's my guide to the do's and don'ts of the party season in the office and to keeping your job, reputation and dignity intact.

The times and places

First of all, watch out for the potential crisis situations. These are usually the ones where there's alcohol flowing, like the office party, after-work drinks and outings, but can also include late nights, Christmas Eve or the days between Christmas and New Year, when there may just be a few of you in the office and no-one really feels like working.

Lindsay recalls: 'Last Christmas I got so drunk at the office party that I danced on the table in a micro skirt. I spent the next six months with a red face skulking behind filing cabinets.'

At these times:

Don't drink too much. Either avoid alcohol altogether or decide on your limit and stick to it by drinking slowly or switching to soft drinks.

Don't say anything you wouldn't say on a normal day in the office. Avoid phrases such as:

• I've never liked you
• I've always fancied you
• Why won't you promote me
• I could do your job with a paper bag over my head

Don't trust your own judgment if you suddenly decide the office casanova is a nice bloke who just needs the right woman, or realise you fancy someone you've been working alongside. Chances are that it's Christmas lust and you'll regret it horribly later.

Don't gossip. Resist the impulse to criticise that over-the-top outfit, to speculate over who fancies who or to let it be known that you think so-and-so is about to get the push.

Don't wear clothes that reveal parts of you you'll later regret having shown off to the office junior!

Remember:

Do stay cool, calm and sober. Have fun and enjoy, but keep your wise head on too.

Do keep a sense of humour. Laugh off pressure to drink more and those inevitable invitations from drunken colleagues to do a party piece.

Do dress in a way that makes you feel gorgeous without being tacky.

Do give out goodwill. Say nice things about the people you work with - as long as you mean them. OK phrases include:

• I've always liked you
• It's great working with you
• You look fantastic
• Thanks for all the work you've put in

Do plan to deal with any lusts or loathings you feel later on in the cool light of day. Grudges should be sorted, passions can be followed up and can even worked out, but parties and drunken nights out are not the places to do it.

Catherine recalls: 'I told the colleague I'd loathed all year just how much of a pain I thought he was. He was terribly hurt and there was no way I could make it up to him.'

One final note: if you do blow it, do the best you can to make amends. A note, apology, explanation or bunch of flowers can help.