Given the choice, it seems a lot of parents would opt for a girl rather than a boy baby. Fiona Gibson sticks up for the male of the species

A pregnant friend has just forked out good money to have an extra scan. Why? To see if it's - shock, horror, lock up your ornaments - a boy. 'What if it is?' I asked, crossly (being mother to two sons, who are living proof that boys aren't that bad).
'If I'm having a boy,' she explained, 'I want to get my head around the idea.'

Around what idea, exactly? Oh, the anti-boy propaganda. We're bombarded with statistics reminding us that boys are slower than girls to develop language and concentration skills, and perform less well in exams. Perhaps even scarier, they are more aggressive (all that testosterone!) than nice daughters with their pretty hair accessories and dollies.

I have constant evidence that boys are dirty, messy, rowdy creatures. At a recent kiddie gathering at our place, the girls coloured in neatly, while the boys charged from room to room, playing the endearing game of 'we are a pack of wolves.' They weren't troublesome, exactly. But being wolves is slightly noisier than colouring in. 'There's a tendency to think boys are trouble,' admits Tim Kahn, author of Bringing Up Boys (Piccadilly). 'Naturally, if you label a boy in that way he will be trouble - it's self perpetuating.'

Time, then, to recognise what's brilliant about YOUR boy...

Tim Kahn points out, 'A big complaint about modern life is that, we're becoming couch potatoes.' Produce a son and kiss goodbye to your sofa and blobby rear end. Boys need heaps of outdoor play: running freely (without a 'Mind that vase!') helps to release pent-up energy. As you encourage your son to run wild in the park, you're coming into contact with other parents, so he's kick-starting your social life too. But don't harangue him into cross-country running, if he prefers curling up with Harry Potter: 'Life can be hard for a boy who's not into boyish pursuits,' says Kahn. 'Society is more accepting of a tomboy than a boy who's perceived as a wimp.'

He loves rough play

When we've had a tense, nervous day, rolling on the rug with my boisterous sons somehow diffuses bad tempers. Most boys adore rough play - especially with dads - and if you clout each other with pillows or balloons, it won't result in a trip to casualty. Steve Biddulph, author of Raising Boys (Thorsons) points out that, play-fighting is 'an essential lesson for all males - how to have fun, get noisy, even get angry and, at the same time, know when to stop. If you live in a male body, you have to learn how to drive it.'

He's cuddly

Even as babies, girls tend to get more cuddles than boys. Yet hugs are, if anything, even more important for boys: showing affection tells your son he's loved, builds self-esteem and says, it's OK to be vulnerable. 'It's a basic human need,' says Tim Kahn, 'although boys may get a little uncomfortable about being hugged in public. After a play-fight, when everyone collapses in a heap, is a nice, spontaneous time to hug.'

He doesn't sulk (well, not much…)

'Boys tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves,' says Tim Kahn. 'Everything blows up and over very quickly.' Yes, a boy is more likely to hit out - although I've witnessed girls who are every bit as 'fisty' as my sons. Tim Kahn suggests, 'Encourage him to figure out conflicts for himself. Sit down with him and say, 'Now, we have a big problem here. How do you think we should fix this?' You'll still have to intervene sometimes - but by encouraging him to take responsibility for his own conflicts, you're teaching him valuable negotiation skills.'

He's best mates with his dad

Dad gives his son a positive experience of being cared for, showing that men are capable of being gentle and loving as well as pretty impressive on the football pitch. 'This aspect is vital for a child,' says Tim Kahn. 'Yet boys often grow up with little contact with men; mum probably assumes most of the responsibility - even if she's working - and often there's a sense of dad being emotionally absent, even if he's around, because he has few personal conversations with his son.' Quality time with dad helps your son develop into a well-rounded individual. It also means you, on the sofa, with your feet up.
Not that you are totally off the hook here. As Steve Biddulph points out, 'Little boys learn to love from their mothers. So be kind and warm - and enjoy him.'
Oh, and hose him down occasionally, would you?