An iVillage member posted saying that she wanted a home birth for her second baby, but her GP wasn’t keen on the idea. This is what you advised her to do

Stick up for your rights

‘You’re entitled by law to the kind of birth you want to have. If necessary, go to the midwives; if they’re not supportive, go to the director of midwifery at the hospital and explain what you want. Ask to be given good reasons why they won’t support you. If the worst comes to the worst, consider an independent midwife. I faced opposition and stood my ground. I had my first baby at home with a very supportive midwife, and my second is due in eight weeks. I’m doing the same again.’

Note: If you want a home birth and your GP isn’t willing to support you, or you can’t find a midwife who will deliver your baby at home, you can contact AIMS – The Association for Improvement in Maternity Services or The Independent Midwives Association

‘Current policy on the place of birth is based on two assumptions. Firstly, that hospital is the safest place to give birth and secondly, that the decline in perinatal mortality is due to an increase in the number of births taking place in hospitals. Research does not support either of these assumptions.
A home birth should be a realistic choice for women. Throughout the country there are midwives who have joined forces with women to develop innovative and flexible ways of providing safe and effective care. All women should have access to a community midwife. If anyone is having problems then contact your maternity unit and ask for the supervisor of midwives.
The home birth rate in the UK is rising because women are now being given a choice or more importantly have taken back the right to choose. A home birth is not for every woman but it is a safe and realistic choice for many. Don't give up your choice.’

First child born at home with the support of two wonderful midwives

‘I was lucky that my GP was supportive of homebirths, and actually believed that 90% of all women should be able to give birth at home. For me this was the best option. My labour was quite long (over 28 hours), but it was great because I was comfy and relaxed at home. If I’d been in hospital, I’m certain that they would have tried to speed things up, which I didn’t want. The midwives totally respected my opinions and we built up a great relationship.’

‘From the moment I knew I was pregnant, I wanted to have my first baby at home. I expected my midwife and GP to try and talk me out of it, but my midwife actually suggested it, and my GP thought that it was a great idea (probably because they both knew that I am terrified of doctors and hospitals).
The whole experience was great. My labour was quite long – over 33 hours. If I’d been in hospital, they would probably have intervened to speed things up, which would have scared me to death. As it was, I had a relatively easy birth with no tears. I would recommend a home birth to everybody. The midwives totally respected our wishes, and the relaxed atmosphere made the labour easier. This helped my speedy return to normal after the birth.’

Sometimes it’s not possible

‘I wanted a home birth with my second one, but as we were in temporary accommodation via the council, this wasn’t possible. It was just as well as I ended up having an emergency C-section.’

To be on the safe side

‘Speaking as a mum, I can understand your frustration. A home birth can be a wonderful experience. However, speaking as a nurse, I feel I would be more comfortable to deliver in hospital, where [the appropriate] equipment is ready and available. Unfortunately, complications can occur that do require intervention, and it’s good to have the specialists to hand.’

‘I have two wonderful daughters. I wanted to be in hospital because, if anything went wrong, then I would be in the right place for it to be dealt with promptly. Both my girls were quite big (9lb4oz and 9lb14oz). Neither had engaged fully, and both were overdue. I didn’t want a C-section but, if it proved necessary, then I wanted it done quickly.’

Consider the domino option

‘I had my first son in hospital and had a fairly easy four hour delivery, but I didn’t feel the room was very comforting, and I didn’t have a midwife that I knew. So, with son number two, I had a midwife who was attached to my doctor’s surgery and had a domino scheme. The midwife came to my house and assessed me. She waited with me, while I had a bath. We then we went to the hospital, to a lovely room with its own bath, and she delivered the baby there. It was private enough to feel homely, but was also part of the hospital, in case of complications. I left six hours later, never having gone onto a ward. Baby number three, I had at home. It was lovely. The midwife was really supportive throughout, and I eventually had my daughter with the recommended two midwives, my mum, my sister, my sister in law and my husband, all in the room with me. Beth didn’t take a breath when she was born, and the midwives stayed completely calm and phoned the emergency services, who were there with oxygen within the three minutes. By this time she was breathing on her own, and no one had panicked. It turned out she has cystic fibrosis so she will be our last baby, and I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to have her at home – it remains one of my best memories.’

Here’s the twist in this tale

‘This is about my own birth 30+ years ago. My mother had my brother in hospital (as you did in those days, without the husband present), and was going to have a home birth when I was due. My gran was living with us, which was a comfort to my mum. But we weren’t on the phone, and the nearest phone box was five minutes away. When my mum went into labour, my dad duly went off to ring, only to be told by the midwife that my mum was just being silly – the baby wasn’t due for another month, so it couldn’t possibly be coming. A few hours later he rang again, only to be told the same thing. Again, when my mum wanted to push, he rang the midwife, who wasn’t very happy to be woken again, but said she would come out just to reassure my mum that she wasn’t really in labour.

When the midwife arrived she realised my mum was right. She panicked, telling my dad that the baby should have been born an hour ago. When she got hysterical, my gran slapped her round the face and told her to sit down and shut up, if she couldn’t do anything practical. As my dad had been doing St John’s Ambulance work, he delivered me himself. The midwife got to cut the cord. As I’d taken so long arriving, because my mother hadn’t wanted to push, I came into the world in a hurry and ripped my mum, leaving her with lots of internal and external stitches. The doctor came out to my mum the next day and assured her that the midwife was going to be struck off.’