Seven days of sex

Kick-start your sex life with this week long passion plan

It's time to give your sex life a boost. This week-long plan will help you and your partner refresh your sensual selves and discover new ways to satisfy each other sexually. So forget the spring-cleaning, draw the curtains, get back to bed and let your passions take you to a wonderful climax.

Day one – tantalising tactics
Start subtly. Leave a message on his voicemail, send him an email, text message him passionately or leave a note on the fridge. Tell him you love him, and go one better and tantalise him with what you're going to do to him later. Then ring him and make him squirm with your descriptions of just how good it's going to be. Listen while he moans on the other end of the phone – or tries to stifle his gasps because his boss is in the room.

When you finally see him, do exactly what you promised and more.

Day two – food fantasies
Firstly, buy delicious goodies as if you're going on a picnic. Get food that can be eaten with your fingers, such as chicken legs, asparagus, strawberries and cream, exotic fruits, treats from the deli and a tub of chocolate ice cream. When you get together, feed each other mouthful by mouthful. If it gets too sticky and gooey, do it in the bath – which is, after all, the only way to eat a mango without the juice running everywhere. You may want to experiment with dribbling champagne and oozing cream in interesting places – then licking them off.

This can be gentle and loving or racy and raunchy – just go with the flow.

Day three – sensual massage
Start the day sensually by taking a bath together. After the bath, when you’re warm and relaxed, lay a thick towel on the floor or bed, turn on the soft music and reach for the massage oil. Massage is one of the greatest preludes to great sex. Keep the movements balanced. Work on one side of your man’s body and then the other side, in the same way for about the same length of time. Vary strokes: go for the ones he particularly likes, moving from a soft to firm touch. Then swap over and let him do the same to you.

It's up to you whether you keep the massage strictly sensuous and romantic or let yourself drift off into another kind of intimate massage. For ideas, read The Art of Sensual Massage by Gordon Inkeles.

Day four – leisurely love-in
Remember John and Yoko? Today you're going to have a love-in and spend hours and hours in bed. Switch off the alarm and don't get up. If you can't dedicate a whole day, tumble straight into bed once you get home from work.

Gather everything you need by the bedside – drinks, snacks, chocolate croissants, even a bottle of champagne – then simply settle down.

The possibilities are endless with a day in bed. Make love, eat, nap, cuddle, chat, swap fantasies, have oral sex, make love again. By removing the pressure to get up and get going, you can really take the time to enjoy yourselves.

Day five – erotic viewing
Tonight you're going to stay in and watch TV. Not any old TV, but an erotic video. Sexy videos aren't just for the boys. You can watch one specifically aimed for couples. I recommend The Art of Extended Orgasm for Men and Women, available from www.sh-womenstore.com

Snuggle up and press play. Make sure there are no disturbances, so that when the video hits the parts that other videos don't reach, you can press the pause button and carry on where the actors have left off.

Day six – demand pleasure
It's time to take it in turns. Today you're going to give each other 30 minutes of pure pleasure.

First, set the kitchen timer or alarm. After that, whoever is the 'doer' must do anything the 'doee' asks for – kisses, oral sex, gazing into eyes, sensual massage and touching, licking or full on sex. The only rules are that the 'doee' mustn't ask for anything they know the 'doer' objects to. Apart from that, the 'doee' gets to choose anything they want.

When the time's up, change over. By the end of the hour, if you're not exhausted, have another round. Be spontaneous and go with the mood this task has taken you into.

Day seven – bedside treats
Look to the East and copy the ancient Japanese, who kept a pillow book on the bedside to inspire different sex acts. For this final day of your sexy week, pick your favourite pillow book – I like Anne Hooper's Great Sex Guide – and choose ten of the ideas that turn you on.

Write the suggestions on ten bits of paper and take it in turns to pick them out of a hat. Then try each idea.

Aim to postpone his final orgasm – if he's able to have more than one. When he's about to come, back off and switch to another activity. But when you're both ready to climax, finish off with your favourite position, the one you both love, that always does it for you. This should bring your week to a fantastic and passionate climax.

Share your experiences with like-minded iVillagers in Talk About Sex.