| First steps to adoption
Adoption is not a cure for infertility, it is a remedy for children who need a family. Josa Young looks at the issues couples have to address when they consider adoption. ‘Adoption is not a one off event,’ says Jeanne Kaniuk of Coram Family. ‘It’s a journey that unfolds through the different stages of a child’s life.’ Coram Family, originally the Foundling Hospital set up by 18th century philanthropist, Thomas Coram, arranged 45 adoptions in 1999 and 30 in 2000. This year, they expect to place more than 50, depending on how many adopters they have available. Contrary to popular opinion, there aren’t enough potential adopters for the children available. In 1998/9 there were 2,200 children adopted from care in the UK. Government legislation in the new parliament aims to increase the numbers, speed up the process and set up a national register to match possible parents with children nationwide. Reforming the process of adoption will acknowledge the social and economic changes that have taken place over the last 30 years. The stigma of single parenthood has reduced and it’s become easier to rear a child on your own. As a result, babies available for adoption are in short supply; over half of children adopted nationwide are now older than 5. This still means though that 25% of adopted children start to live with their new family before they are 12 months old. Most children available for adoption today come into care through the courts. Older children move away from their birth families for complex reasons. Their families have often suffered a multiplicity of disadvantages – mental illness, drug addiction, alcoholism, divorce and death. The children may be disabled, have learning difficulties, or suffered neglect or abuse. They will nearly always grieve for the loss of their birth family and bear the scars of separation and transition. On average, children spend three years in care waiting to be adopted. Adoption is the process by which all the rights and responsibilities of the birth parents are permanently transferred to the adoptive parents by court order. This does not mean, as it did in the past, that the child is permanently cut off from contact with their birth family. ‘By adopting a child, you connect yourself intimately to people you would never normally have met,’ Jeanne points out. Increasingly, the adopted child maintains relationships with siblings, grandparents, even the parents. If you’re considering adoption The first move is to get in touch with BAAF (British Agencies for Adoption and Fostering) and read their publications for guidance on everything from what to expect from assessment, to experiences of parents and children. Adoption UK, a self-help charity for adopters, is also a good starting place. The first step is a series of group workshops to learn the basics Julia and Stephen Prendergast tried to have a family of their own but discovered that Stephen had a very low sperm count due to undescended testicles in childhood. They felt that artificial insemination was not for them. Adoption felt right, because the child would be the genetic descendent of neither parent. Julia and Stephen began the process by going to three sessions run by Kensington and Chelsea council on Saturdays. A social worker used a flip chart to bring up issues like HIV, ethnic origins and the health of potential adopters. ‘It was fairly prescriptive,’ remembers Julia. ‘Drinking and smoking were banned, and one plump lady was told she had to lose weight.’ They were told to suspend fertility treatment while waiting to adopt, which might prove hard for older couples. These workshops dispel illusions, and numbers drop off at this point. The process turns out to be self-selecting. The next stage is the Home Study This is when a specially trained social worker finds out all they can about the prospective adopters: their marriage, their relationships with friends and family, personal history, childhood and upbringing. There’s also a medical examination. Stephen found the prospect of home assessment and the invasion of privacy difficult but, as Julia says, ‘They don’t know who you are from Adam, and they have to put you through hoops to find out if you’re right for adoption.’ Adopters get to see the report that’s drawn up and they can add to it or correct comments they feel to be unrepresentative. Then the case is referred to the relevant Adoption Panel You might enter the adoption process having chosen a child advertised through, for instance, BAAF’s ‘Be My Parent’ publication. Or you might go through the whole process and be approved for adoption before you’re matched with a specific child. As Caroline Hesslegrave of Childlink Adoption Society says, ‘We don’t encourage people to consider a particular child too early in the process as it can distract their attention from considering themselves as potential adopters.’ There can be no legal match with any child until after you’ve been approved as an adopter by the panel. ‘People are sensible and, once armed with the facts, they select themselves,’ says Jeanne. ‘It‘s a long, expensive process, and it’s extremely unusual for us to turn anyone down; 94% are approved and go on to the Adoption Panel.’ Adoption panels are made up of ten members These include social workers and independent members, who can be adoptive parents or adopted people. A mother who relinquished her baby many years ago is a valuable panel member at Coram. A medical adviser and an educational psychologist make up the team. They read the reports and make recommendations, but legally they are not allowed to reach the final decision. At Coram, that is left to Gillian Pugh, the chief executive, although it is almost unknown for her to reject the panel’s decision. After the child has been placed, there is a period of increasing contact over days or weeks Adopters visit their child in their foster home and take them out. Then the child might come to tea and leave a possession in their new home. They stay for the weekend once or twice. The process is limited legally to thirteen weeks. ‘Longer than that and the child can get overtired and overwrought,’ says Jeanne. After the adoption has gone through, social services continue to provide support. Disbelief that this is for real can lead children to test the boundaries for long periods. They often find it hard to trust their new ‘forever’ family. In spite of this, Jeanne says that the majority of adopted children really value being cherished. The positive side of adoption is that whatever the age of the child when they join their new family, the stability of a loving, permanent home will certainly enhance their chances in the future. And that’s what adoption is all about – putting the needs of the child first.
For more information contact: ‘Be My Parent’, a BAAF publication which aims to find new parents for children, has recently gone monthly with the aim of speeding up referrals. The Focus of Fives section gives details of children under five, and readers interested in any of the children can phone the office for details of his or her social worker.
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