In an increasingly technical world, human interaction is down and virtual contact is up, but what are the pluses and minuses to dating online? Lisa Simmons investigates

What's the difference between initial eye contact across a crowded room and an email via a busy dating website? Perhaps less than you think. The bottom line: you can be as wrong - or right - about someone you slap eyes on in a bar as you can online. And your instincts will still be the only guiding force when it comes to weeding out the lovers from the losers. Fate certainly ensures that we kiss a few frogs before coming up trumps with a Prince - however we meet him.

Sarah, 31, from London, recently split from her husband of nine years. She made a list of things to do, which, alongside getting a cheeky tattoo and joining a gym, included signing up with an online dating agency.

'After nine years of marriage, my social life was practically non-existent, as most of my friends were married. I registered with a few dating sites, and just reading other people's profiles made me feel more human and less alone. It was only when I went on a date that reality bit,' she grimaces.

'Incredibly, the overweight, chain-smoking vision waiting at the bar for me was a womanising friend of mine and of my ex-husband,' she recalls. 'Before I could bolt he spotted me and we spent the next two hours pretending to have just bumped into each other by chance. Both of us clearly recognised each other from our over-inflated descriptions on the site, even though we'd used nicknames.'

'I must say he had been rather optimistic with his 'athletic build', but I imagine he was just as disappointed that, despite my new post-divorce hairdo, I bore no resemblance to Meg Ryan. We are still in touch but neither of us ever mentions the embarrassing encounter.'

Six months later Sarah met her second husband, Richard, a sports coach at the local gym she had just joined. It was on their second date that Richard confessed he had been on the brink of registering on some dating sites himself, including the ones Sarah had tried. 'I am convinced we would have met somehow - even if it had been at the tattoo parlour once I got round to that,' says Sarah.

So even if your dream man is out there in cyberspace, how do you go about finding him? Sites that offer free trials may attract juveniles and oddballs, but don't let that put you off. Lots of reputable sites charge a monthly or annual fee, which should deter time-wasters. Venture onto a site that relies heavily on chat rooms and instant messages and you might find yourself batting away a lot of unwanted attention from men with poorly developed manners.

Unlike Sarah, Caroline, also from London, became a dab hand at online dating. She quickly learned to spot the warning signs, and top of the bill were dodgy nicknames. 'Anyone who calls himself BigDick69 is not to be trusted,' she laughs.

But no matter how finely tuned your dating antennae are, technology can trip the best of us up.

'It's good to exchange pictures, as people often exaggerate their good features and forget their second head,' says Caroline. 'You can't gauge chemistry from a picture, but it does reveal how someone likes to present themselves. A man draped over a huge red Porsche has potential, money-wise, but he may be a poseur. It's also worth scrutinising the photo to check he's not leaning on someone else's motor in a car park.'

Caroline had a picture of herself saved as a file named 'me', sitting on her desktop, ready to send if a fellow dater pressed the right buttons.

'Over time, I had been sent various pictures of guys, which were all floating around on my desktop. One day I was chatting to some promising sounding men, but each time I sent my picture, they all said, "er, no thanks" or logged off immediately.'

Caroline checked the picture she had been sending out. 'To my horror, I realised that there were two 'me' files on my PC - my own pic and one that had been sent to me. I double clicked on it and a photo of a big naked hairy bloke, reclining on a bed appeared. I was mortified,' she says.

The first rule of online dating is always to send out your most flattering picture. The second is to remember that people never look as good in the flesh.

But Hannah, from Nottingham, is living proof that love and happiness can be found online. Single for five years, she returned from a year in Australia with an urge for an emotional clearout.

While rummaging through old cards and keepsakes, she came across some information about Natural Friends (www.natural-friends.com), an organisation specialising in introducing single, non-smoking individuals with an interest in alternative therapies, a passion of Hannah's.

'The site was fascinating, and the profiles were all genuine, honest and humorous. I could not fight the urge to join. I devised a profile and signed up on New Year's Eve,' she says.

Meanwhile, over in Berkshire, after nine months of being single, Simon came across a Natural Friends advert in a magazine. Spookily, on New Year's Day he too joined up. Having printed off a few other profiles, he put Hannah's to one side, and for the first few weeks both of them exchanged emails with other users.

'Simon and I had a few dates with other members - all lovely, genuine people - but the magic wasn't there. At the end of January, I got an email from Simon inviting me to view his profile.' Hannah was intrigued and immediately replied with a list of seven questions.

'He came back with some cracking answers. A week after exchanging photos, we decided to meet up,' says Hannah.

Simon drove up to Nottingham, where they had two dinner dates. Seven weeks later Simon said he wanted to bring Hannah back home with him. 'That weekend, I packed my bags and went to live with the man I fell in love with over the Web,' Hannah beams.

'We are both convinced it was fate that enticed us to join the same site at almost the same time. We both wanted a partner who shared our values, beliefs and interests, and the Web provided a way of finding that person. Life's too short to wait.'

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