Toria – a community leader on an iVillage pregnancy message board – stayed in touch on line while she gave birth. Here’s her story

Thursday 19th July – midday
Last night and the night before, I had contractions in the early hours. Tuesday night they were a regular ten minutes apart for a couple of hours. Last night they went on all night and woke me up every hour or so. I got so excited it was really difficult to go back to sleep. Today I think I’ve had a show. I think baby’s coming! I can’t concentrate on anything. I’ve been trying to do two hours reading a day for my dissertation, but I can’t sit still long enough to get down to it. Feel sick, feel hungry, need the loo all the time. It could be tonight!

Am I jumping the gun or are things really happening...ooooooh! Hope you’re all out there to talk to. Love Toria

Sounds like the big day has finally arrived. I’m so excited for you and will be thinking of you tonight.

I hope this is it for you! How exciting – when I was reading your message, I found myself reading faster and faster!

Thursday 6.26pm – my waters are trickling away – this is it!
The midwife has been round to check me out. Baby’s still beautifully positioned. Waters are clear, contractions are gentle. My baby’s coming! Will see how long I can stay in touch with the board. Am very excited. I’ve been looking forward to this day for nine months – and it’s finally here. Toria

It’s so exciting and I think you are great for letting us know AS IT HAPPENS!

Thursday 9.25pm – Blimey, you were all right about these contractions.
They mean business – been going for about two hours, which isn’t long, I know. Just about to slap on the TENS and see what it can do for me. Still very excited, if a little sore. Love Toria

Well done for logging on in the midst of your ‘dilation’. I hope things speed up a bit for you. Soon you’ll have something to show for it all. Can’t wait to hear how it all goes.

Thursday 11.40pm – 4 hours and just 1cm dilated!
Ah well, cervix has been busy doing other stuff – like effacing. Midwife seems to think I’m doing well, but can’t help feeling a bit disappointed. Could be at this a wee while yet. Love Toria.

Sending a hug for those painful moments...you can do it, and don’t even think about your cervix!

I was 1cm dilated when I went in and stayed that way for hours – very annoying but it suddenly pings into action. Keep up the good work. You’re doing great!

Friday 20th July 8.06am – The midwife called it a night at 5am
A second examination revealed that I was only 2cms dilated and the contractions had all but dropped off. She said this is normal for first-timers. Went to bed and got some sleep. Back into contractions this morning from 7am, husband still asleep. I’ll leave him. All quite sore, but hey, I’m creating a new life here! Will probably call the next midwife in an hour and set off on the journey again. Love Toria

Thinking of you. You are doing FAB. Thanks so much for keeping us up to date. Very exciting.

Friday 11.14am – Last message posted by Toria’s husband read:
First 3cms were v. difficult but now 5cms dilated – encouraged and coping well, in pool soon.

Wow – this is so exciting – sending you loads of good luck wishes. Keep breathing – I’m sure you’re doing well. I’m tied to my computer watching for updates – bet everyone else is too. Who needs Big Brother with a birth going on while we ‘watch’?

Hey Toria – been thinking of you during the night (toilet breaks) and as soon as I woke up. Hope you are OK and that you’re floating in the pool as I write. So great that you’ve been able to update us. One more good reason for giving birth at home. Be calm and relaxed and remember we’re all sending you positive thoughts. Use our strength for a while! So excited I can hardly think straight.

Hello everyone! Back with the news that my bump has gone
In its place I have a new family! My baby girl was born on 20th July, her due date, at 5:40pm. I was in labour for over 20 hours but the midwife isn’t counting the time before I was 3cms dilated. Childbirth – my God, what an experience! This is my story:

My forewaters went at 5pm on Thurs 19 July. (When the baby’s head engages it can sometimes create a separate pocket of water underneath it. These can go, though the rest of your waters can remain intact.) My contractions started at 8:30pm and were five mins apart. The midwife – Sheila – arrived at 9:30pm.

After a couple of hours, I put the TENS machine on. Andris, my husband, pressed down on my back and helped me through each contraction.

At 12:30am I was only 1cm dilated. It had been pretty hard work and I found this lack of progress quite demoralising. As the night wore on, things slowed down so I stomped about the house trying to get the action going again. It felt strange trying to bring on these painful contractions. I’d say to the midwife, ‘Whoa, that one hurt,’ and she’d say, ‘Ah, good.’

But by 5:00am on Friday morning the contractions had dropped off and I was only 2cms dilated. The midwife left and I went to bed.

At 7:15am I was woken by painful contractions and we were off again.

The second and brilliant midwife, Joanne, arrived at 11:30am. By this time, my contractions were regular, painful and intensifying. I had reached 4–5cms. I could now get into the birthpool. I felt great. Things were progressing, I could do it!

By 2pm it was all slowing down again. Joanne suggested that we break my hind waters; otherwise I could be in labour all night. I was only 6cms, but then my waters went – all over the sofa and labour took off like a rocket! I took off the TENS machine and got into the pool. Contractions came at two mins apart.

Joanne checked Anna’s heart rate and the panic started.

180 beats per minute, Anna was distressed. Joanne checked five or six times over ten mins, but still the same. She called her supervisor and the registrar at the maternity hospital and within 20 mins I was in an ambulance, strapped to a stretcher with monster contractions streaking through my body. I started having visions of the operating theatre – how were they going to get my distressed baby out of me, if I was only 6cms dilated?

In the delivery suite, the team arrived but the doctor felt that the heart rate was linked to the size of the contractions and because Anna wasn’t getting any breaks in between, she couldn’t relax.

They were actually going to let me labour – I couldn’t believe it!

After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only an hour, I had another examination. I’d reached the stage where I felt I couldn’t cope; I kept grabbing the gas and air and was pulling it down over my face as if my life depended on it.

Surely I had to be in transition? No, I wasn’t, I was still only 8cms dilated. I wanted to push my baby out so much but couldn’t understand why my body was telling me to push, when my cervix wasn’t ready. This was probably the hardest thing of all, having to resist the urge. I got through it by keep the breathing regular; the resistance to the pushing seemed to come better that way.

Then I felt her shift.

Anna moved across my cervix and started her journey into the world. Only Andris was in the room at this point. I shouted that she was coming, I didn’t think anyone had heard me but the midwife came back and I heard her say that she could see Anna’s head appearing.

After only nine mins of pushing, my perfect daughter left my body and took her first breath at 5:40pm on Friday afternoon. I delivered whilst leaning over the head of the bed and so couldn’t see her. I kept thinking: ‘I’ve given birth, I’ve given birth’ and only then did it occur to me to ask who it was. Andris said, ‘Its Anna’. There she was in his arms, with her eyes open staring into his face.

It simply isn’t possible to put into words how I feel about my daughter. I’m forgetting already how it was to be pregnant or what those contractions felt like. While it was all happening, I vowed this baby would never have a brother or sister. But today I would do it all again if I had to, to get her.

Reading all your messages in the first part of my labour gave me so much strength. Thank you.