With painful cracked nipples and a newborn baby who won't latch on, a young mum posts to the community for help and advice

Help!

babydolls_lollypop: I am having a really huge problem with breastfeeding. Basically, I can't do it. When baby Toby was born on Saturday, he didn't feed for 12 hours because he had problems latching on. He finally managed it with a lot of help. Everything was kind of OK, apart from him cracking my nipple quite badly.

On Sunday and Monday I was experiencing excruciating pain when he fed, and it lasted the entire feed, so much so that I couldn't do it very well. I tried him on the other breast but it was impossible to get him to latch on, and my breast became engorged. The midwife tried expressing some milk but it felt like my nipple was on fire and someone was cutting into my breast with a knife.

I've since given up and put Toby on formula, which I am extremely unhappy about. No one can tell me why it hurts so much and I'm getting more and more upset about it because I desperately want to breastfeed him.

My boobs are so huge and painful that I have to take paracetamol. Does anyone know why this is happening? Do you think that after the milk starts to go, and I'm not so engorged, that I might be able to breastfeed again?

I've tried hot baths, hot flannels, a hot water bottle and ice packs for the pain. Nothing really works, and I would appreciate any advice.

Comforting words

aggielou: I think you can re-lactate any time - which means your milk will come back as soon as Toby starts sucking again. The engorgement should go down in a day or so. It is very painful if you just stop suddenly without gradually reducing the milk production. Ask your health visitor about re-lactation - but I think you would probably have problems like you did before, and your baby may also be reluctant to go back to the breast after a bottle as it's harder work.

I really wanted to breast feed, but had problems like you. I also developed postnatal depression, and it was quite severe. I was advised to go on tablets, which were not compatible with breastfeeding. So I gave up on it, and my child was fine.

Yes, breast is best, but what is also important is that mum is happy - and not stressed. It's a balance. Please don't give yourself a hard time if you can't breastfeed. It is not your fault and will not make you any less of a mother.

Shopping for pain relief

cl-traciefk: Go to the chemist tomorrow and ask the pharmacist for a pain relieving spray that is specially developed for lactating mums. I can't remember the name but it was in a lilac tin and works wonders.

Next, go to the greengrocers and get a big Savoy cabbage - stay with me, this works a treat -tear off a leaf and put it in your bra so that it covers the whole area. It extracts all the heat from your breast and is really soothing. Put the rest of the cabbage in the fridge so it gets cool, and replace the leaf in your bra every now and then as it warms up, putting the used one back in fridge.

When sitting on a chair to feed, put two or three telephone directories under your feet as you need the baby to be the same height as your breasts so you can feed him without bending over him. Or lie down on your side and feed him in bed.

It does hurt like hell to start with but breathe through the pain and it will get better. Take paracetamol until it is easier, but don't drink fizzy drinks or eat grapes as babies hate both in milk.

Most of all, keep calm. You're a great mum. Bottle-feeding's perfectly OK, and it's not a crime.

Cup feeding

tollysmum: You sound like you need one-to-one help from a breastfeeding counsellor who will sit with you - try the NCT on 0870 444 8708 to be put in touch with one in your area, and ask for a visit. Best of luck, it really is worth fighting through because after the first painful and difficult bit, it's easy.

My counsellor told me to try cup feeding for topping up to avoid 'nipple confusion'. This involved breastfeeding him for as long as I could bear it, and then giving him about 100ml formula in a special little cup with a rounded rim, which she gave me, having covered him in nappies because it's messy.

I too had agonising nipples with huge bleeding splits and sores, and a baby who seemed to want to suck anything but me - and I had breastfed two other babies successfully. All his newborn plumpness melted away and he looked skinny with enormous eyes.

The cup feeding worked well, and we only needed to do it for a week before his weight improved and my nipples began to heal. I also used a dummy to keep him calm - although the breastfeeding police don't approve.

Thrush can cause breastfeeding problems

katluce: I had the pains in the breast that sound like yours. When your baby feeds, it's as if they have a mouth full of razors. If you're having shooting pains in your breast after feeding, it might be a yeast infection.

The bad news is that it is difficult to treat in the UK. You can get Dilfucan, which is a medication, but you might have to bully your doctor into letting you take it as it is not advised for lactating mothers here. In America and Australia you would get it on prescription.

You take it by mouth, and I am living proof that it works. I am still breastfeeding my son, and he is now 16 months old.

The fact that your baby was not latching on means that he might have thrush in his mouth. If he has, you will see little white marks like curds on the inside of his cheeks, which you can't move with your finger. It will make his mouth hurt. It might also appear as nappy rash on his bottom - red clusters of spots. Doctors will prescribe Nystatin drops or Daktarin gel for the baby's mouth and cream for his bottom.

Keep expressing the milk to keep your supply going, and don't give up - help is at hand.

Nipple shields protect sore skin

clairemc65: The simplest solution is to allow your nipples time to heal by using a nipple shield/guard. They look like clear silicon Mexican hats with small holes in the crown.

I did this with both my kids and they were so easy to use and cleared up the pain so quickly that I would recommend them to anyone. Make sure you sterilise them between feeds. They are totally harmless to you and the baby, and will let him feed his little face to the brim.

Success at last

babydolls_lollypop: I would have given up if it weren't for all your kind messages, trying to help and telling me not to feel bad if I can't breastfeed. I decided that I had nothing to lose by keeping going.

Yes, it hurt like hell but I decided not to stop before giving it a good fight. So I had a day off, bottle fed him, bought the cabbage leaves and the nipple cream, and had the hot baths.

Finally, after hours of trying, he latched on to a very huge and engorged breast and fed perfectly. It didn't hurt, not even at the beginning, and now he is a natural.

I think bottle feeding him for a couple of days helped to teach him he didn't need to suck so hard, so now I haven't even got cracked nipples and he feeds every two hours.

I would say to anyone who has any kind of problem with their baby - talk to anyone and everyone because all the advice helps and everyone will be on your side.

Thank you everyone - Toby's hungry so I'd better go.